cherylberyl - All Comments

Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

Brevard — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:56:10 GMT

I think sex is four letter word: "Love". I'm 63, and remember what like to discover it, and find the best came with a "realationship". My Brainstem stroke left extraordinary loud Tinnitus and a inability to have an erection. At the same time my Libido is on fire. Prostition is out. Masturbation is impossible. I been thinking of solutions to the no-sex-for-the-differently-abled-problem in general. Let's hear from other Disaboomers about their ideas!

Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

magoo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:50:33 GMT

Hello folks, I very seldom come into this sight because of my very bad memory. I had my son buy me some of those colorfull "post-it" tablets to remind me of big things, As well as little things. It didn't use to be like this. I used to have an excellent job, And this was a full time job with benefits. And I was up for a promotion. I was going to be an assistant manager ! I worked at a grocery store, in the deli dept. I loved that job. I knew the deli dept. as if it was my home. But however, I worked an evening shift, And had to train someone. I wrote him a list of what to do, and how to do it. I had to cut up a large shipment of Longhorn cheese, That was going on sale for the weekend. And then put it all away in the cooler. It seemed like an easy task. Well as I was putting all this cheese away, I sort of ran out of space to move around. And I had two more boxes left. I got away with lifting the first of the two, But the last one did me in. I lifted the box without bending my knees. I lifted it and twisted at the same exact time. I herniated all 5 discs in my lumbar spine, and did more damage than I thaught I did. I also severed my sciatica nerve in several places. Now this happened some 5 1/2 years ago. Now I have a very difficult time walking, sitting, standing, and laying down. The pain is excruciating. I've been to neurological surgeons, nerve specialists, And had epadurals so many times, I lost count ! Now I have to take all this medication, that has so many side effects, But they actually make me semi-comfortable. But the side effects messed up my memory, my speach, and my appatite. And needless to say. I now have E.D. (am I allowed to mention that) ? But today, I try my best to get around in a wheelchair, I had to move to an appartment with everything on one floor. I get disability now (after 3 years of fighting) ! But there are days I am so depressed, even with the meds. I feel as if I did something wrong, And God is punishing me. I've been married 22 years may 31. But this has put an awlfull strain on both of us now. Sure we still love each other very much. But sometimes she feels "frisky", And I'd love to (well, I'm sure you all know)! ! That's when I get so freakin' angry at myself. To think at one time, I was able to do everything and anything I wanted to do. And now, I have all sorts of limitations. I had a beutifull classic car I drove on special occasions. I gave it to my son. With all the meds I'm on, I refuse to get behind the wheel ! (why make things worse) ? But I still have my family. Although my son moved out, Got engaged, and to his surprise and ours, He's now a daddy to a wonderfull baby boy ! I am happy about all this. He was born November 1, '07. He is very healthy. All ten fingers & toes ! I was able to hold him for a while. But as he grew heavier, I found it difficult to handle him. I didn't show any features of dissapointment, As my son and his fiance were there. But I did manage to get my son my himself and asked him ever so calm, cool, and collective. I told him I was happy for him first. But then, I asked him why he didn't use protection ? I even purchaced more than enough condoms for him to use. But I didn't condome him. I told him I'd be there for him and his soon to be wife, and my Grandson. Words can't express the way the little maricle of life is upon you ! He is now 9 months old, And is into everything. crawing around, laughing, "cooing", and learning how to get his own way ! And yes . . .learning his name as well. Now I'm not so sure if this fits into the discussion or not. As for my wife and I. We are looking for ways to have a sexuall relationship again. I thaught about putting down the meds I'm taking. But with all the folks that are looking for drugs, I didn't think it would be appropiate to list them here. I've considered Viagra, But I'm not sure about the side affects with what I'm currently taking. But I keep on searching until I find what I'm looking for. With that said, Is there anyone at all that may be having the same condition, perhaps lend me some "detailed" advice, suggestions, something, anything ? (yes, I can honestly say, I am desperate) ! One more thing. If I may have offended any ladies out there, I oppologise). I've gone "dry" for almost 6 years ! (do you understand) ?

Re: My Blog is Group Therapy

bojo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:13:02 GMT

Hi, my name is Jo, am much older than 23 infact have just had my 44th birthday and unfortunately at that I was poorly and spent it in bed. I have looked for disability forums to read and give feedback as find myself with less people to confide or talk to about matters dear to the heart, though of course I have friends the ones that I and we could have a good gossip to have either died or now are on the outer circle of friends because of relocation.Did of course speak to a counsellor, which was wonderful to have someones total attention, had 50 mins, 10 sessions where it was "all about me" how great is that!! Never actually at 1 time of day would have looked for anything with that dreaded word "disabled" too many connitations come with that word, not that I do not like people that have medical, physical or mental difficulties (there more words but sounds somehow softer, even fluffier!!) far from it it was my chosen profession to care and help youngsters with impairments however though I took poorly with what I now know as Transverse Myelitis ( an autiimmune disease) at the tender age of 21, it was having a second diagnosis of TM (damages another segment of the spinal cord or the myelin sheath) which has impaired me more than ever that for the past 4 to 5 years I finally have to admit that I am no longer an abled person in the walking section and some others that someone perfectly fit may beat me, there it is just there, that is my problem after all these years I still think of me as the girl that was fitter and stronger than my peers; I could out run, jump, throw and had strong bi and triceps to out lift my friends but oh hum that was then and this is now and though I can be determined I no longer have much strength, let alone great strengh so I wish to mix myself with different peers now, people that have some kind of difficulty themself, then we can have a good old moan, get it off our chests then move on. In fact I feel better already, thank you.

And the second weekly(ish) Blogging Hero Award goes to.....!

blogpromotion — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:09:29 GMT

Due to technical difficulties (see below), we didn't give out a Blogging Hero award last week: Our

And the Second Weekly(ish) Blogging Hero Award Goes To......

Saydrah — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:01:31 GMT

Due to technical difficulties (see below), we didn't give out a Blogging Hero award last week: Our

Re: Let's Talk About Sex Baby

ratd — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:59:23 GMT

Wow, sex... It really is an attitude, like friendship... If you are out there people will talk and get to know you... Some will want to know more and well at some point... Someone is going to want you... I bet you already know someone who does... and if you let them in, don't be afraid or back away... Having now had my 30th anniversary of being that 20 year old crippled Jewish kid... Seems there are always enough girls to take to bed... and the opposite must be true... as long as you are willing to become a true friends first... If you become a true friend and have sex, it stays as a true friendship... Sex is not the basis for ever lasting love... Its a fun thing and also a way to have kids... All aspects can be overcome with a little understanding... adding a disability is not that much more... If you just into it to trick someone into having sex or for that matter bartering (including trading money for it) well you get what you want a physical act... Your just fooling yourself... If its done to you well then you know that is a miserable person and try and help them... But never regret having been willing to try and love... Most people know there are enough aids to help you do the physical yourself... don't know check out the Panasonic and hatticihi line of vibrators and attachments... and I've personally connect them to everything from sip and puff on off, to eye controlled computers... No one should be left without a way to get a little release... I've always felt its better with someone you love... now its better to have very few partners, that is monogamy is best... Ok its communications... General I know what the person wants out of life and the attitude about sex before the first kiss... and general they know what I can do before I do what I do... It would surprise you how many Able body women have been totally surprised about how good I've become at certain things... But that's just it... Confidence and knowing you are a gift... Now most people when first seeing me make all kinds of assumptions... No way... Hey I would never guess how many pretty people are not getting what they want either... Now I've always though its such an advantage being a girl... Since so many men just want to do it and mostly it looks like most women are turning down.... even if you don't know that's what you are doing... A guy has a drive to make women happy... that's why we tend to be the one's paying for the drinks, dinner, providing a place... driving to and from... Now I've met a lot of fellow in the chair women that are bitter and no fun to be with... and guess what I'm not with them... Now its not all about looks either... I'm not a pretty guy... again most people would not believe my history... or who's dress I've been under... I can tell you this... I've never been with other then a friend and generally stay friends... I met my wife and I was seeing three other people at the time... she was shocked when I told her, and told her I wanted to be with her as well... Well shock of shock she is AB and pretty... and well some 10 years into the relationship we did get married, and she will let me play but only with good friend that she knows as well... Just to let you know I'm the type that passes fast at the SSI interview... I'm that rare, Oh your crippled for real, no question... Luckily its not a rating of what you like to do or can do when alone with another adult... You know the doctors never ask... Now I know people with 100% as well that have a good sex life... and when your young it seems like something that's just to hard to talk about or do... but right now someone doing their 50 hours wants you... So talk to them... understand you are a gift... I wish you were on this side of the pond, its always easier to talk to someone that has, and is not affair of sex... They call it intercourse, just like talking... Its a way for a person to say... for now I understand you and want to help you... I want you to feel good and be in my arms... or any combination of limbs... and you will know that you have a friend... its a lot easier to believe someone that has had an orgasm with you about life... and you will be amazed how many long time friendships stay with sex... Hey once you kiss someone's ass its a lot easier to talk about life... and know your talking to a mate... some become long term mates, some are just friends... But with any luck like me non will be regrets... and if some are well its a building process... I am the sum of what I have learned from others some physical some mental... some physically challenged some mentally... I have loved them all... Now I've also helped others, that is from passing notes, to starting to notice two people might go good together... Still doing it... Now if I could not find someone I would hope someone would introduce me... and you know what sometimes one has their first time with someone who is just willing to help... that is yes sex outside of a relationship... and yes nothing better then to rock someone world... and yes both parties sometime including more then two survive... Ask a girl friend if she knows some guy who likes doing it... you never know you might find one read willing... and even a few that are more then just able... just remember not to judge them more then you are will to be judged... Oh yeah those of you with some moral sense that this is wrong... remember your god made us this way... and he made sex... so for the millions of years before we had the religions we made due without them... and how dare you even think about taking away some fun from people that have to work so hard and long just to be able to be in public... and you might just find a good person hiding behind a disability... or for that matter a good lover.

Re: Wheelchair Accessible Taxis Coming to DC!

Blake — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:49:10 GMT

Sweet. One of the benefits of being in bigger city, as opposed to small southern towns, I suppose.

Re: The Empowerment of Choice

Blake — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:46:14 GMT

I know what you mean. Some people think that it is my attendant's job to make decisions for me (some close people). Even to the point of my attendant telling me when I need to go to bed (I have overnight attendants). Sorry. I'm 23 and I'm a grad student, and though I will be reasonable with my night attendants who have day jobs, I will decide when to go to bed. My attendants realize this and they are very nice and understanding. But some close family and friends don't seem to realize the kind of relationship that I must have with an attendant while still achieving some sense of independence.

Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

vrimkreaper — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:22:19 GMT

i dont see why you have had a date or a kiss your very attractive and i dont see a reason for a guy not wanting to date you.i see all the girls on this site and see nothing wrong with any of them.it doesnt matter what you have your perfectly fine.id go out with you you seem like a kool person

Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

lizard — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:10:33 GMT

love the fact that you are willin to talk about this. i'm differently-abled and so iws my teen son.we talk about sex,relationships,and do self-esteem exercises.

Re: My Blog is Group Therapy

beckywatson49 — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:47:46 GMT

I have been writing stuff down for years, made my living doing it for about a decade. Blogging on the other hand is something new to me but I am learning to appreciate it. I really appreciate Disaboom cause it allows me to be part. As a Polio survivior, I had a childhood and young adult hood of not fitting in, that "I'm different" label. Since I have aged and gotting though life more I can say..yeah I'm different...so what. Talking to those who know the reality of day to day living with an life changing disabilty has help me put things in perpective. Polio and now Post Polio Syndrom is not all I am. I am left handed, brown eyes, silver hair and oh yeah, I use a wheeled walker to get around now and I will graduate into a wheelchair sometime down the line. So it is with all of us facing medical problems. They may attempt to take over life, but there is more to each life and we can call on one another to help us see that. I wish all a blessed day Becky

Re: The Summer of Stares: Part III

cherylberyl — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:15:24 GMT

thanks

Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

cherylberyl — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:48:22 GMT

@DiamondRose "I'm 23 and I haven't gone on a date yet, never had my first kiss... Right now though I could care less. All I want more then anything in life is to pass my 50hr placement this time. It's the 3rd time... getting old...

Natural Therapy » My Blog is Group Therapy

Natural Therapy » My Blog is Group Therapy — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:10:16 GMT

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Re: SEX: The Elephant in the Room

DiamondRose1976 — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:41:21 GMT

Not to make light of your situation but you are only 16 so you have plenty of time to be "sexy". I think that girls your age, and yes I was once 16 too, should be more worried about how they view themselves and what they want in life rather than how others view them. I understand your desire to be loved and worry about it but it shouldn't be so intense that it makes you depressed. You are more than your sexiness. Let your sex life and sexiness take care of itself as you get older. Work on who you are and the kind of woman you want to be. That is the most sexiest of all things.