Posted: 12/29/2007 at 10:03 PM
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Living with a disability can effect everything -- or nothing, depending on your perspective I guess.But I was struck going through this holiday season with how much it has shaped our family traditions for celebrating Christmas.Every new married couple has some decisions to make regarding how they will celebrate the holidays for family occasions. The interests and traditions of two families have to somehow be worked out. And then when you have children, there's really a third family in the mix -- you and your spouse and your kids.Add in a family member -- or two -- with a disability and the logistics can get even more complicated.Here's how it has worked out for us.My wife's family's big Christmas night was always Christmas Eve. So was my family's. Eventually my parents moved to Florida, with my sisters and I still living in the Chicago area. Along the way, my sisters, their families and my wife and I decided to get together on Christmas Day, with my wife and I spendingChristmas Eve with my in-laws. In both cases, at first, we alternated between households, at least once Karen and I bought a house. Not much changed in this arrangement until our second child, Marcus, who has macrocephaly resulting in developmental disability and a number of physical disabilities as well, got a bit older. Once he was using a wheelchair full-time because he had outgrown toddler equipment, like strollers, and just got too darn big to carry, some adjustments had to be made to the routine.We could keep alternating with my sister-in-law for hosting Christmas Eve. She has near visitability -- only a small stoop on the house entrances and a bathroom that can work in a pinch on the first floor.But my oldest sister's house was tougher. An older place, it has some really narrow doorways and more steps.We worked it out by agreeing to host the Christmas day activities at our house. That way Marcus has the facilities that work better for him and us in helping him.It was an adjustment that took place pretty naturally. But it's just one of so many adjustments we've made in the daily, and in this case annual, pursuit of happiness.The location of one of our family get togethers at Christmas has largely been shaped by our son's disabilities. How has living with disabilities shaped your holiday observations?
Photo: The family Christmas card shot 2007. By Darren Hillock
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How has living with disabilities shaped my holiday observations?
For starters it brought out my son's ingenuity if not larceny. He called and invited his Mom and I to have Christmas dinner with his family at his house. I reminded him I couldn't get into his house.
He said, "You can now. And by the way, when you leave home use your back door. There's no ramp at your front door. I borrowed it so you could have dinner with us."
Merry Christmas!
Sometimes the outcome justifies the crime!
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