Top Five Products You’d Get Weird Looks for Bringing to an Outdoor Gathering.

One week from today is July 4^th, a day of fireworks, patriotism, and a holiday from work in celebration of independence. Many people participate in some sort of outdoor food fest on the fourth, from picnics to barbeques. In honor of this, after some extensive web research I’ve come up with a list of “Top Five Products You’d Get Weird Looks for Bringing to an Outdoor Gathering.”

1) Food Art – Half of the appeal of food is its appearance…Hence, the desire to make aesthetically pleasing dishes. In my mind, though, there’s a difference between some carefully placed olives, and food endeavors that are too “creative.” In other words, food made to look like animals, people, and the most creep-tastic, a baby alien (actually, I’m not even sure if that’s what it is, but that is my best guess). I mean, just imagine the scenario:

 
As weird as it would be to dig a spoon into the face of this cute little rice bear:

Imagine the silent stares and shifted eyes if you proudly placed half a watermelon with baby alien morphing out of it. Who wants the first bite? Yum…

2) Bread Art – So yes, the baby watermelon alien is creepy. But, imagine if you could wander over to the local bakery and pick up a head, or a foot…made of bread. While this seems like the perfect case to call shenanigans, such is the case at a bread shop in Thailand. Just try explaining your purchase to your friends: “What, you told me to bring the bread! I thought this looked cool. Guys?...Guys?”

3) Meat’n’Taters…in a Cone – One of the difficulties of an outdoor gathering, especially a picnic, can be finding food that’s easy to transport, easy (aka reduced mess factor) to eat, etc. The question remains: What’s a typical meat and potato-lovin’ American to do? A possible solution: I present you meat’n’taters a la ice cream cone. You scoop the potatoes, peas, gravy and meat into a cone, and you have an easily edible meal-on-the-go. Sounds delicious…right? You’d be the hit of the party. Besides, regular ice cream would just melt and drip all over the place anyways.

4) Oranges – It may seem strange to list oranges as an item, but you’d get weird looks if you arrived with a box of oranges and tried to re-enact Italy’s Battle of the Oranges. Yes, multiple countries in Europe have massive outdoor food-fighting fests, and Italy is one of them. Maybe with a little advance notice your friends and family would be keen on the idea, but to arrive slinging oranges and yelling about the demise of rebels may not be the best plan of attack.

5) Calvin and Hobbes Re-enactments – Finally, another awkward re-enactment would be channeling a favorite childhood comic, Calvin and Hobbes. How so? Bringing a dish that looks like a big green glob (what was that stuff, anyways?!) and warning people to stay away so that it doesn’t come alive on the picnic table and eat them is the definition of awkward. Look it up in the dictionary (or not, but still).

If I just managed to quash all your food fest dreams with a single blow, you could always resort to wearing a white suit, holding afternoon tea, and flying the Union Jack.

Wait a minute…