My 3 year old

Emily,

As with all children your son is at that age where he is learning so much about the world that he lives in and his surroundings.  I do not have any children of my own, but I do have a niece and a nephew who grew up knowing that they had an uncle in a wheelchair.  The good thing about it is that in the long run your disability will make him more accepting of others, which in turn will be a WONDERFUL thing.

 Just hang in there, as he ages he will begin to understand your disability and the disabilities of many others!!

Take Care,

Brent =)

Hi Emily!  My name is Heather Burgess I too have a 3 year old little boy, as well as an 8 year old little girl. I have been paralyzed for a year and am having a really hard time accepting it, it's like i keep waiting for it to go away like a bad nightmare or something.  I am not driving yet so I am not able to take my kids anywhere like i use to and it is really hard.  My 3 year old is always wanting to go to the park or stores and i have to tell him i'm sorry but Mommy can't take you Daddy has to.  It makes me feel inadequate as a mother especially remembering when I could just jump in the car and go.  Its almost more than i can bear.  Taking care of my kids is what i live for. We are in the house all the time its really hard to take my chair in the grass to even go in the back yard. So I know how you feel with your little one.  How do you find the strength to go grocery shopping,playground,etc. alone with your kids? I would love to have someone to talk to that can relate to the extremely hard work it takes to be a mommy in a chair.

Hi All, im in a wheelchair too, have been since i was 9 years old. I got a 4 year old and since i got a electric wheelchair grass is easy to move over but i cant reach the play ground but my son hasnt yet ask me questions..he knows mommy has a chair tho guess those questions will come later on, I enjoy my life on what i can do i know its hard at times too..thanks for this site

Wow, the response I've received from this entry has been amazing. I appreciate the supportive words. I'd like to respond to Heather's comment and say that being a year post accident is a very hard time in your transition. You feel like "its been a year, I should be ok with this now" but it takes so much longer than that. I was told once that I should plan on the transition taking about 4 years. And amazingly enough that held true for me. Of course no one can quantify the process of acceptance. But just know it takes a while for a couple things to happen: You have to coordinate new resources (car with hand controls) new skills (umm...everything) and a very important part new physical strength. Every moment of my day is affected by my strength. It is something that builds slowly (like years) but once you have it; its yours. C.S. Lewis said something like "the pain now is part of the happiness later" It is going to get much better. You work so hard. Hard work now is part of the freedom later.

Hiya Emily,  I'm Dawn, 38 yr old mother of 4 girls aged between 4 and 17 yrs.  I have been an amputee since aged 30, had the other leg removed at 35 and more surgery to make me how I am today, a bi-lateral above knee amputee since November 2006.  It wasn't so much the lack of feet to do the things I loved the most such as gymnastics, dancing, riding a motorbike, long distance running and many, many more, it is the challenges you face as a parent with younger children who simply want Mummy to play like the other Mom's.  I self propel in my chair.  I've had hand controls on my car since 2005 (radial hand controls...fab!!), so the transport itself isn't the problem.  It is however, difficult to navigate without staring when you want to go to the park, swimming with them or ice-skating, bowling etc. I recently showed up the man in the bowling alley for saying that my tyres on the wheelchair were offending other people because they squeaked when I turned and on top of that the tyres were making marks on their floor!!  Well, as you can imagine, I went VERY loud and with my best 'teacher' voice gave him both barrels and demanded to see the Manager.  Diplomatically, we sorted it out with the younger man and the manager in tow and indeed, in front of my children, I got a full apology, free tickets to return and a free meal!!!  Sometimes when people try to embarrass you with your disability, it is best to help to teach them a little less ignorance for anyone else they may come across in the future that happens to be disabled themselves!!  My personal experience is exasperating, same as yours, but with determination, a little assistance (if you have it?) and lots of 'pretend' confidence, very often people around will assist you to make that trip to the park or whereever just what you wanted it to be...fantastic time with the kids!!  It usually works for me!  A lot of the strength to address children about your disability is in the ability to explain things clearly and at their level of understanding.  My children have never known me as anything but disabled in a chair, or on crutches or false limbs.  I simply tell them that my legs were so poorly the Mr Man had to take it off or I wouldn't be able to be their Mummy.  This seems to work and they tell other children the same.  It almost becomes a talking point between them and other kids at school.  I think you have to be prepared for that one....it usually comes on the days you feel like dirt!!  Show them non-graphical videos off the net of people who have had bad accidents and are now disabled in some way.  I teach them that different is not stupid...this also helps.  They often come with me to the Disabled Service Centre where we get out limbs sorted out.  This too helps them see such a range of disabilities that they end up not asking questions because they are so used to seeing others, not just yourself.  Thank you for sharing your experiences and I hope this helps.  Feel free to contact me if I can help with anything else.  Take Care,  Dawn