Does Everybody Need Somebody?

So it’s Valentine’s Day again:  A man’s worse nightmare if he’s in a relationship and a women’s worse nightmare if she’s not in a relationship.   For those of us who don’t have that special someone, we tend to use this day to ponder “Why can’t I find love?” instead of a typical day of pondering “Why can’t I find my car keys?”

If you are a disabled and aren’t involved with anyone I don’t want you feeling sad or depressed on this Valentine’s Day.  Sometimes we blame our disability as a cause for not being in a relationship.  It could be a reason but it shouldn’t define who you are.  How you’ve adjusted in life to your situation and also your attitude are much more important.  Those are things you can control.  (Getting Amy Weinhouse into rehab is something you can’t control.)

I know many people with disabilities involved in healthy relationships.  I know many disabled people not in relationships who are content.  My point is… relationships and disabilities are mutual exclusive.  Beer and Buffalo Wings – now that goes hand-in-hand.

Relationships are like warts – eventually one will surface.  Now may not be the time so it shouldn’t affect your mood or who you are.  Remember, there are a lot of people who aren’t in a relationship -- disabled and abled.  Besides it better not to be in one than be in a bad one.  My last girlfriend was bi-polar; after she kissed me she would slap my face.  A man can only take years of that.

If you are blaming your disability for your lack of finding love you probably have bigger issues.  (I have some issues, one’s a Playboy, and the other’s a Penthouse.)  If someone doesn’t love you because you’re disabled they have the problem.  There are times when you’re going to be attracted to someone and they won’t be attracted to you.  I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ve seen it firsthand.  It disgusted me.  Why couldn’t this person see the same Fabio I see in the mirror every day?  Yeah, I said it.

Women are sad on Valentine’s Day if they have nobody around to coddle them or to yell at, so I’ll do my best to just comfort the gals.  You’re not missing much.  Men are bad.  Believe me, I know, I’m one of those men.  Sure, for V-day, they might take you out to dinner – but only to a restaurant/bar that has a big screen TV with the basketball game on.  (Please don’t tell him how much you love him until halftime.)  They might get you flowers – if the graveyard is open.  You could even get chocolates, but then you’d be self-conscious about your weight and feel guilty if you ate them.  Maybe a card?  Guys don’t look at those things so when you read it… it would probably say something like “Congratulations on turning sweet sixteen” or “I’m sorry to hear about the death of your grandmother.”

If you are disabled and someone loves you, they are very special.  Not because they are dating the disabled person but simply for the fact that they love you because you’re you.  Love is precious for all of us.  If you have not found that special person do not be dismayed, they are out there.  It could be worst, next year you might be wondering how can I get out of this dead end relationship.  If you do get lonely this Valentine’s Day, hit the chat rooms or write a flirty letter to a San Quentin inmate.  You never know.