how disability has affected my life:

I live a completely different life now, after becoming debilitated with fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disease, than I did before this happened.  Sometimes I still experience sadness about it, but for the most part, I have adjusted to the changes and have found a very satisfying way to live my life.  It seems strange to say that I am happier than I ever was before, but it's true.  I used to be a very active, energetic, and physically fit young woman.  I lived for adventure.  I joined the National Guard (band) a year after graduating high school because I missed playing the French horn.  In basic training I graduated top of my class.  I was tireless!  The next summer I bought a motorcycle and toured the eastern half of the U.S. All through that time I attended college full time and worked 3 part time jobs concurrently. I went out with friends almost every night, bowling, dancing, whatever.  I loved to dance and I almost never sat down. My last year of college I gave birth to the first of 4 kids who I ended up raising as a single parent for most of the time, and I worked full time. Then a series of extremely stressful events - domestic abuse, divorce, lack of child support, a home destruction accident, my company closed my department and one major & several minor auto accidents, and several moves done without  help- started to take its toll.  The final blow was an injury doing a home improvement project right on the heels of a work injury, plus the loss of income, getting screwed out of worker's comp, and resulting financial problems, plus continuing court/divorce litigation multiplied my stress.  It was a recipe for health problems which finally manifested as Fibromayalgia.  It was difficult to adjust to this very strange illness.  First, it took a long time for the doctors to figure out what was wrong with me.  Meanwhile, I would go for days being unable to even get out of bed.  I had pain from head to toe.  There were so many different kinds of pain going on at the same time.  It was hard for me to believe what I was experiencing, and hard to describe to the doctors, and I sensed they weren't sure of they believed it either.  I had (have) shooting pains. throbbing pains, stabbing pains, gnawing pains, prickling sensations, tingling & numbness, cramping muscles, body aches,(all deep level and surface level), a bruised feeling anywhere I was touched (palpated) plus, sensitivies of every sort- sound, light, touch, temperature, migraine headaches, IBS (irritable Bowel syndrome, RLS (restless leg syndrome), "fibro fog" i.e. memory and concentration problems, and on top of it all: fatigue - - absolute bone-weary tiredness, where my limbs feel heavy and cumbersome.  My hand pain is so much that I have been unable to ride my motorcycle or play my guitar for several years now.  I used to do them every chance I had.  I used to play my 12 string and sing my kids to sleep at night.  We had huge family campouts once a month where I slept on the ground without discomfort, and played for sing-alongs around the campfire.   They are all pleasant and happy memories of days past.  I will probably never do those things again.  But now I have new things I do.  I have discovered an artistic talent I never knew I had.  I have to do it in small doses or pay a price later in terms of pain and recovery time, but I have never felt so fulfilled as I do with my painting, card-making, scrapbooking,  mixed media and assemblage projects, and more.  I also enjoy meditation and relaxation.   Now it is late and I am tired.  So next time I feel up to it, I will tell about how being disabled has affected my relationships.  Good night!