Posted: 4/11/2008 at 04:07 AM
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I have read some responses to posts that have left me feeling disturbed and disappointed at some people's insensitivity, disrespect, and downright meanness. Many of the posts being responded are about terrible suffering and they are reaching out for answers, being vulnerable. Instead of support they get blasted with negativity. If they try to defend themselves they get hit back again (by the same writer) even harder. I worry that they will quit this community and suffer more, rather than less, as a result of their contacts here. When I read these types of messages I cringe. Why would someone be like that? Their lack of compassion confuses me. Everyone here has suffered a great deal and needs compassion. It's as if they think this is a contest where the "winner" is the one who is worst off, and is the only one who is allowed to complain. I don't think anyone is helped by a "get over it" or "kick in the butt" kind of treatment. I look at it as Marianne Williamson said: that if someone is complaining what they are really saying they need is love. What is the best response to someone asking for love? And if someone is being loving, what is the best response to that? The best way to always be is loving. I don't do that perfectly, but I do try to do it well. I just wish more people would be more gentle with everyone here. There is just no good reason not to be.
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Hi jellyO,
I think you have a great perspective on a valid concern. The way you would respond is the right way and my hope is that you and people who respond in similar ways can continually gain influence and help direct the culture of response to a healthier and more compassionate arena.
Thanks
Hi JellyO
I have always believed in "Treating people like I would want to be treated." It works for me.
Stay Strong
Amen to this. I will rarely "Post" these days because so many comments are downright vicious. They are not edited or deleted because they are not obscene, and Admin. does not want to be the "manners police," so we need to police ourselves, in my opinion. Discourse should at least be civil, and in fact be supportive, or why are we here? Thank you for your comment.
Hi JellyO - I agree with what you've said in many regards. Much of what we say to one another can - and should - be done with kindness and respect. We're responsible for not only what we say, but how we say it as well.
On the OTHER END of the spectrum, however, with insensitivity being in the middle, we need to remember that people can't be expected to 'walk on eggshells' in the name of being kind and respectful, as it does happen that, especially when we're writing rather than speaking directly to someone else, what we say could be taken the wrong way. Unfortunately this can also happen with folks who are overly sensitive.
When it comes to careless insensitivity though - yeah, we could work on that.
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