Life with pain in Genera;

I have been sitting contemplating my navel for the past hour. For the past several days my pain has been so intense that I have not really been able to function to well. I have spent most of my time in the horizontal position and my bed has once again become my closest friend. I have hurt so bad that I didn't even turn on the TV to watch my favorite program. I have done all the things I am supposed to do--meditate, Bio-Feedback--self hypnosis, etc., and nothing seems to be working. It does get really frustrating, as I have stated in previous Blogs, but life goes on. I have joined another on-line site named Disaboom that is devoted entirely to people with disabilities. I have made a number of "FRIENDS" already that are in the same, or worse. shape as I am. It helps me when I am able to talk with and help others with severe conditions that are just as bad or worse than mine. It gives my a certain kind of courage to keep on going. Helping others is something that I have always tried to do, sometimes with great success, sometimes not so successfully. However I will never cease to try to provide whatever help that I can.  The only problem with all of this is that I have so many different things wrong with me that when one of them is in "quasi" remmission another one jumps up and takes its place to get me down.  Any time someone trys to offer me any help or gives me a suggestion about how I can improve my situation it is often a mute point because that particular disease in gone on vacation for a while and I am working on another one at the time. That is not ment to be funny or sarcastic--it is true!!! The only constant pain that never ever leaves me is in my right leg (RSD?CRPS) and neck/back (fusion/bulging disks/degenerative disks/spurs/damaged nerves) and those pains always remain at a level 7 out of 10 --7/24--365 days a year. The LUPUS comes  when it decides to and causes me extreme problems i.e. joints, organs, and entire body aches and numerous hospitaliztions,--The fybromyalgia also seems to be hit and miss lately but mostly hit. I seem to have lots of problems with it along with my different types of arthritis when the pressure systems change from Low to Hi,gh which they do alot here in Texas. Since I have had over 20 skelatol /bone operations, I have some pretty sevear osteoarthritis and it to is affected by the weather--hot/cold--rain/sun.. My COPD is affected by the weather too. Damned if I understand all of this but I swear it is true. I understand the scientific principle of the pressure systems and all that. I also have problems that appear worse during the period of a full moon--does that mean I am a WEIRD Wolf?? 

I could keep on going with the rest of my problems but it isn't worth it to type all that stuff. The real crux of this Blog is   I AM AGAIN LIVING IN PAIN HELL!!   I don't like to vent in front of my wife because she is my caregiver and does not deserve to hear this stuff. I won't twll my children how bad I feel because I don't want them to worry to much. The only place I can go to is here or Disaboom. I choose both because my friends are not judsgemental and so many of them are in the same boat or worse, I feel safe when I say "I FEEL LIKE CRAP" and I don't worry about  someone scurrying around trying to make me feel better when it isn't possable.

OK!! There I have said it again. I feel better already. Again, let me state for the record--I am not sucideal and I have no intention of doing myself  in. I like living even though life really does suck right now. I emplor all of you to pray for me if you are the praying type. I don't want symnpathy. If I did, I'd find it in a dictionary between shit and syphillis and I don't need them either. I would enjoy seeing any comments that you might have. I know that someone feeling sory for themselves is not what you want to read about so hammer away if you so wish. However if you can offer any constructive help == please do that too.. Thank all of you very much for listening to me.