mind over matters

I was diagnoised with RP in 2004 and since then I have lost all sight in my left eye and only pin hole in the right. I am 60 years old and if that isn't bad enough, my husband  and I were just told he has onset Alzheimers, I am at wits end, I thought he could be my eyes and lead me through the rest of my life now I find that I must be his mind and take care of his needs too.  I know there are all kinds of help groups for families to deal with this disease, however our children especially our youngest who is 34 have alienated themselves from us and now I am alone dealing with this, I have the stength and will to do what ever it takes to help him however I also know that the grandchildren involved need to know him now not when he doesn't know who they are,,I was just wondering what in the name of God is a mother wife and grandmother to do?  I have had several people just say when the time comes they will come to you, well what about now? this is the time I need them.