Fear-Filled Mail

In today's snail mail was an envelope from the Ministry of Employment and Income Assistance, aka social assistance. Why do those envelopes always send instant waves of fear through me? What do they want from me now? What piece of documentation do I need to provide now? Or, what hoop do I need to jump through?

Shaking, more than usual, I bravely opened the fearful object and mustered up the courage to quickly glance at its content. Peeking through half-closed eyes, I read, "RE: MGO-2008-1966835". What?

With eyes wide opened now, I see it is funding approval for my "custom right foot orthotic", which I had forgotten I was waiting for. I am getting an UCBL made for my right foot to provide more support since its swimming in the man's size 7 shoe that is necessary to accommodate the AFO (ankle foot orthotic or anti-fashion object) for my left foot. I'm not exactly sure what an UCBL is, other than some kind of insert with high flanges, because the rehab doctor and orthotist neglected to explain to me their plan for my foot. Typical.

The casting appointment is next Friday, to which I am not looking forward. The appointment for my left foot took three castings to get my body parts twisted in the right position. Not an easy feat with athetoid cerebral palsy! And, man, was I sore afterwards.

I felt such relief when I realized the dreaded envelope was good news. I then felt extremely foolish for feeling such fear at the mere sight of the envelope, before knowing the contents.

But, why is much needed social assistance accompanied with such fear? Why do they hold such power over us? Why are we so easily intimated by them?