Mr. Fancy Pants

I decided to delete the pity entry and save it for another day. Children, stop reading now.

That husband of mine never ceases to surprise me. Some of you may remember the famous Mr. Fancy Pants incident. For those of you who weren't around back then, Jon wrapped his ass in green plastic wrap and danced around the house for me not long after my diagnosis, just to cheer me up. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen, bar none. I took pictures and posted them on Delphi, of course.

Jon has topped himself today. We usually don't do anything for Valentine's day, but this year we got each other presents. I got Jon a bottle of sugar free syrup from Starbucks. He loves flavored coffee. I also got us tickets to a thing in a week. It's a surprise so I'm not posting it here. What did Jon get me? He made a mould of his penis. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have a plastic version of Jon's penis sitting next to me. Can you imagine the look on my face when I opened that package? Confusion, shock, then utter delight. I mean, come on! he could have given me crappy chocolates in a heart shaped box or flowers that Tam Tam would eat. Instead, he gives me a plastic part of himself. Special!

Since I don't have a need for the replica, what should I do with it? Auction it off on ebay? Chew toy for the dogs? Oh wait... they might confuse the real thing for the toy. Send it to the Smithsonian? Maybe I'll get a shadow box from Michael's craft store and put it in there with other memorabilia from our marriage. I can put it next to the toilet to remind the dogs what the toilet is actually for. Won't our guests love that?

Don't y'all wish you had a little Mr. Fancy Pants in your life? And by little, I do mean metaphorically little.