Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs...

We live in a deed-restricted neighborhood. While our HOA board is a little whacked, overall they rank about a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10, with 1 being, "We don't give a flying flip if you paint your house neon pink," and 10 being, "We make the Taliban look nice."

Our community is clearly marked with "No Solicitation" signs. As a writer with several large (and one very small who thinks she's large) dogs, you can imagine the uproar that happens when someone knocks or rings my doorbell. As a work-at-home-writer, this can (and has) totally screwed me up with whatever project I'm working on, pulling me out of my concentration and gennerally pi**ing me off.

I'm sick of it. Yesterday, TWO different times, my doorbell went off. And so did the "Hounds of Heck." The first time was two older women who absolutely did not want to take no for an answer when I kept telling them I did NOT want to accept their religious tracts, and I was NOT converting to their religion, go away. The second was for a guy who insisted he "wasn't selling anything," yet he worked for a home security company and they were going around to other houses in the neighborhood since they'd just done an install.

I looked at him and pointed at my front door (where I'd just spent a minute screaming at dogs to shut up and trying to squeeze out without letting any of them out) and said, "Do you honestly think I NEED a home security system? Seriously?" He had to admit he didn't think I did.

I've been threatening to put up a sign on my front door. (My dh won't let me mine the front yard. Damn.) So after the second guy left (and mind you, I was REALLY po'd by this time because I was on a serious deadline with a manuscript) I printed up a sign and taped it to my front door.

This is a NO SOLICITATION community!

A VERY cranky writer lives here! Do NOT ring the doorbell

or knock! We won't buy it, we won't vote for it, and we dang

sure aren't converting to it! Unless you're a friend, family, neighbor,

delivery person, or expected repair technician/appointment,

DON'T DO IT! 

God help the first idiot that thinks they'll be the "special" one that I didn't mean on that sign. It's written in very huge Cooper Black text. I don't know how much clearer I can be.