madmumbler

Busy busy busy

madmumbler — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:23:00 GMT

It's been a while since I've posted. Joey went to Junior Nationals (NJDC) and did great! This was his first year participating in archery. No one ended up looking like a porcupine, so I'd say that's a good thing.

We just had our first close call with a tropical storm (Fay) and I got to board up the house. Fortunately, no damage, didn't get near the rain we'd hoped for although other parts of the state are still getting hammered.

One book published! My paranormal romance (the vampire book) came out on 08-08-08 (hey, they even scheduled an Olympics to start on the same day! *LOL*) and has received some great reviews so far.

The best news--a publisher has offered me a contract on the "wheelchair romance" manuscript, but haven't signed anything yet, so keep your fingers crossed all goes well. All the test readers loved it, but I was having a hard time finding a home for it. What was so frustrating was most of the editors and agents turning it down said, "We love your writing and the plot and characters, it's just not for us." You don't get a lot of personalized rejections in this business, so at least I knew the writing was on the right track. It's not like I was getting reactions of, "Your writing sucks." *LOL*

So I'm on pins and needles until that's finalized. I'm working on my sequel to the vampire book (there will be at least 7 in the series), plus I have two other manuscripts being considered by publishers.

Whoo hoo!

So, that's why I've been so quiet lately. I'm swamped. *LOL* But that's a good thing to be when you're a writer. I'm definitely not complaining!

How I spent my Saturday...

madmumbler — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:14:00 GMT

I received word on Friday from my publisher that "Love & Brimstone" will be released on 08-08-08. How COOL is that!!??!!

So I spent pretty much all day today putting together a book trailer for it. I'm personally rather chuffed about it and hope you enjoy it!

Human voodoo doll day

madmumbler — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:04:00 GMT

I just got home from playing human voodoo doll. At least, that's what it seems like the lab I got my blood drawn was doing. The air conditioner was set to about twenty below zero, for starters. So all my limbs are pretty much numb (or so I thought). Then the girl comes in to take my blood, and she can't find a vein. She tries, stabs me, withdraws to get another lucky contestant in the "Find a Vein" contest.

This guy comes in and finally elects for one on the back of my hand and they need to collect three gallon-sized tubes worth of blood. He's wiggling the needle around and I'm making faces and trying not to scream.

"Does that hurt?"

"Well, it sure as *&^% doesn't tickle!" It felt like he was trying to yank the damn vein out of my hand.

Argh!

This topped off my morning, which started at my doctor's office. Let me preface this by saying I am not a person who runs to the doctor at the drop of a hat. I also have a VERY high pain tolerance threshold. I love our doctor, I just hate seeing him for me. My left shoulder has been messed up for years, and I know I've got arthritis settling into my fingers (I'm only 37 but spent nearly 7 years working with my ex in an automotive engine shop, and it runs in my family.) but lately I've had some chest pain on my left side that's different. I decided to get an appointment. I know from a previous appointment I have mitral valve prolapse (whatever that is). After my grandmother's death in May from a heart attack, I thought it prudent to get this new pain checked out...now that it's been going on for about two months. Not to mention I've got a history of breast cancer in my family (father's mother) but a mammogram less than a year ago was clean.

Doctor isn't sure if it's my heart, but he's leaning to it being related to my shoulder. He asked how I sit when I write (um, hunched over *LOL*) and said that could be contributing. He also asked if I drank a lot of caffeine.

When I finished laughing my ass off, I said, uh, I'm a writer so the answer to that would be hell yes.

So he prescribed me Celebrex for my shoulder and hands on a trial basis to see if that helps (he didn't like that I'm eating Ecotrin and arthritis strength Tylenol like Pez for some reason *LOL*) and scheduled me an echocardiogram on Friday just to rule out any heart problems.

Getting the script filled will be a challenge, apparently. Fortunately he gave me samples to tide me through. Because the pharmacy tech couldn't tell me how MUCH my copay will be on my script until after they fill it. (How are you supposed to know if you can afford it or not?) She said call the insurance company. I called the insurance company, who gave me a ballpark (between $30 - $50 for a month's supply after I spent twenty minutes in their voice-activated phone tree hell trying to get a REAL PERSON) BUT informed me that since it's a "tier 3" medication, my doctor has to jump through hoops and sacrifice a chicken to get the approval "unblocked" so they'll pay for it and I can get it filled.

Ugh.

Between the doctor's office and dropping off the script, I treated myself to a McD's large caramel iced coffee. YUM. Then the lab. Then I called my husband and ranted and said I was going to get me ANOTHER large caramel iced coffee since I was still in town.

He encouraged me to do just that. *LOL* God I love that man! He said I more than earned it.

Then I came home to bury a guinea pig. *sigh* This was the second one to pass in a few weeks. Our other one (her son) died a couple of weeks ago (she was pregnant when we bought her, we got a buy-one-get-one deal apparently). They were about seven years old (the son was, not sure how old momma was) so they had long, good lives.

Later today, I get to bathe our bulldog with her medicated sulfur-lime shampoo and the whole house will reek of rotten eggs for hours.

Oh joy.

This is a pretty sucktacular day so far, all things considered.

"Borrowing" Babies?

madmumbler — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:31:00 GMT

The braniacs (and I use the term in the loosest and most sarcastic way possible) at NBC have decided to put a show on the air called "The Baby Borrowers." Basically, they take five teenage couples, hand them babies, and turn them loose. (Well, not totally loose, but you get the point.)

My questions are these:

What responsible parent in their FRIGGIN RIGHT MIND would subject their baby to this?? The ones who have participated usually say something stupid like, "Oh, I was a teenage parent and wanted these kids to see it's not what it's cracked up to be." So the life of a teenager - someone ELSE'S child, is more important that the mental and emotional well-being of your OWN child? How friggin messed up is THAT?
This is NOT real life. These spoiled brat teenagers are not getting a true taste of reality. They know when this "social experiment" is over, they get to go home to their parents. They aren't getting a true feel for the stress, the anxiety over trying to long-term balance a budget, for trying to raise a child. These are not their kids - they belong to someone else. It's not possible for them to have the same concerns they would if it was their own child. There is a safety net - the show will end and life will go back to normal.
They want REALITY? How about caring for a child with special needs? Like a baby with Arnold Chari II malformation who can yak up his rice ceareal if you look at him wrong? A baby who, every time he throws up, you have to weigh is it "normal" puking, or is it a shunt failure puke? Learning how to cath a child who can't go to the bathroom by himself. Wading through SSI and Medicaid bs paperwork. THAT'S reality.

Yes, accidents happen, but myself and MILLIONS of other people were responsible enough to NOT have children when we were teenagers. Why are these spoiled brat teens so special/stupid that they aren't capable of seeing that hmm, having a baby when I can't support myself yet isn't a good thing?

I do NOT understand, and never have, when teenagers WANT to have babies. Even when I was a teenager I didn't understand this. I'd look at fellow teens who expressed this desire like they were Martians and proceed to tell them they were idiots. Are they that desperate for unconditional love in their lives that they feel the need to bring another life into the world? Here's a hint: BUY A PUPPY! Then wait a few years and if you don't find yourself sloughing the dog off on others, you promptly clean up after it, etc. etc. AND you can afford the vet bills, THEN, maybe, THINK about having a baby. IF you can afford it, IF you have a supportive partner who will be there to help raise the child, etc. (And if you don't have a partner, you better be financially well-off enough to handle it on your own.)

This is why I get SO upset at these "abstinence only" programs. It's BS. Let's face it, there are kids who will be sexually active regardless of what you do. In those cases, they NEED to be taught safe sex. That condoms break and the Pill must be taken properly, so using two forms of birth control is usually a good idea if you're a teen and don't want a baby. That a disease you catch as a teen can catch up with you as an adult and ruin your life. Etc.

Instead of this happy crappy "don't do it" BS, let's give them REALITY. The FACTS. Let's tell them that MATURE and INTELLIGENT people don't just go popping babies out on a whim (barring legitimate accidents). Let's emphasize that it costs a LOT of money to raise a child, and that they will totally lose their "freedom" when they do.

NBC, I'm sure, thinks this is a great friggin idea. But I guarantee there are kids watching it saying, "Morons, I'd do it better if I was on the show/a parent." It's like watching a train wreck you can't stop.

Grrr.

There's my rant for the day. (Well, my first one, at least.)

Liars!

madmumbler — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:59:00 GMT

I keep getting catalogs from Fingerhut. I've never ordered from Fingerhut, and I never will. However, they keep sending me catalogs. For several years now. The thing is, nearly every catalog warns me, usually in day-glow colors on the cover, that this is my ABSOLUTE LAST catalog if I don't order from them right now!

Liars!

Yes, I know I could pick up the phone or send them an email, but why should I have to do it when they are sending me unwanted junk mail? Why should I have to waste time hunting down the information I need to stop this crap?

I keep a paper grocery bag by the front door for recycling all the junk mail and bill envelopes. The Fingerhut catalog never gets cracked open. Of course, with elections around the corner, now I'm getting bombarded by political ads as well. Auto insurance companies send me unwanted "free quotes." (Here's a hint - I'm happy with Geico, leave me alone.) I get these weird letters from people wanting to introduce me to the secret of getting rich, with long, detailed explanations of how much you can make and personal testimonials about results without actually saying WHAT it is you do. (No, of course I don't read them. In the recycling bag!)

What else annoys me is that with some of this junk mail, like the insurance and credit card offers, I HAVE to shred it to keep my personal information personal. GRRRR!

I get sick of the real estate agents who send me notices that they just sold a house in our area and they could sell our house, too. I do not have my house for sale, have no plans to sell my house, and don't give a crap that they're selling houses around us. They want brownie points? Find someone to buy and finish the unfinished monstrosity across the street from us that's been abandoned and will probably come apart in the first tropical storm that hits us. The owners apparently went bankrupt and it's been sitting, unfinished, for over a year. (At least they finally got the construction Dumpster out of there!)

I don't want my roof pressure cleaned, I don't want a new security system. I don't want my trees trimmed or my flowerbeds edges. I don't want my house painted or my water tested free of charge.

Urgh. I'm not anti-social, truly. I just want. To be. Left. Alone.

On another, hapier note, I finally got my edits back to my editor on "Love & Brimstone." She was very happy with my first version and still happy with me, apparently, even after my edits. *LOL* It's actually on the "coming soon" page on the Amira Press website. Yippee! One step closer!

Oh, Bother.

madmumbler — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:56:00 GMT

I knew it couldn't last. Big Bertha is churning her way across the Atlantic, and the promising early tracks for her to be a "fish spinner" storm (meaning it wouldn't effect anything except shipping) are slowly giving way to more anxiety-producing tracks bringing her closer to the CONUS (continental US, in weather geek speak).

It's obviously too soon to tell, and it still might be a storm that does nothing more than head out to open water, but it's an unsettling reminder that we're in Hurricane Season. Add to the mix another "blob" (that's another technical weather geek speak term) is moving off the coast of Africa even as I type. Whether it will develop into something or not is up in the air.

So I have to dig out my generator and test it, check my window boards for warpage, and check the hurricane kit supplies. I suggest anyone else in range of the coast do the same, because three days before landfall is not the time to try to figure this stuff out.

On the other hand, I got my first batch of edits back from my editor on my manuscript. Whoo hoo! I'm working on that so I can send them back to her. On the other hand (running out of hands, here) I had to buy Word because they utilize the Track Changes feature and Open Office doesn't yet mesh with that feature in Word (it has its own). Ah, well, it's a deductable expense, at least.

To keep up with the book's progress, visit the blog at: http://brimstoneseries.blogspot.com

I'm being interviewed!

madmumbler — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:37:00 GMT

This is the cover art for my book. Whoo hoo! It'll be published as an e-book first, then as a trade paperback, by Amira Press. Don't have the release date yet, we're still in editing.

AND...my first interview as an author! Whoo hoo! I'm going to be interviewed on BlogTalkRadio by Jordana Ryan on Friday, 6/27/08, 2pm Eastern time. Whoo hoo!

Here's the link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jordana-Ryan

I'm so excited, can you tell? *LOL*

If you want a preview of the book, you can visit the blog I set up for it at: http://brimstoneseries.blogspot.com

Well, $&^%.

madmumbler — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:20:00 GMT

Well, $&^%.

That was, ironically, my reaction this morning to the news that George Carlin (comic of the "7 dirty words" fame/infamy - depending on your view of it) died of heart failure. He was only 71.

I say "only" because let's face it, he was older, but when you compared the energy of his act to his younger self, he still had the vibrancy, the edginess that made him so unique. He was still relevant. He stayed up to date and the performances of now were just as incredible as his performances 40 years ago.

He was a brilliant man, and his loss truly leaves a gaping hole in the world of intelligent, thought-inspiring comedy.

Of course, we also lost Tim Russert last week and, yet again, another huge loss. I'm really going to miss him on Sunday mornings and I'll miss his white board during the elections.

Life is too short.

I've been quiet lately because I signed the contract for one of my books (the one on vampires) on 6/13 (finally, a really good thing to happen to me on a Friday the 13th!) and got the cover art back. Yay! Looks good! I'll have to post another blog entry on that all later. Don't have the release date yet, we're still in the editing phase. So working on that and another work in progress I'm trying to finish.

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs...

madmumbler — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:49:00 GMT

We live in a deed-restricted neighborhood. While our HOA board is a little whacked, overall they rank about a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10, with 1 being, "We don't give a flying flip if you paint your house neon pink," and 10 being, "We make the Taliban look nice."

Our community is clearly marked with "No Solicitation" signs. As a writer with several large (and one very small who thinks she's large) dogs, you can imagine the uproar that happens when someone knocks or rings my doorbell. As a work-at-home-writer, this can (and has) totally screwed me up with whatever project I'm working on, pulling me out of my concentration and gennerally pi**ing me off.

I'm sick of it. Yesterday, TWO different times, my doorbell went off. And so did the "Hounds of Heck." The first time was two older women who absolutely did not want to take no for an answer when I kept telling them I did NOT want to accept their religious tracts, and I was NOT converting to their religion, go away. The second was for a guy who insisted he "wasn't selling anything," yet he worked for a home security company and they were going around to other houses in the neighborhood since they'd just done an install.

I looked at him and pointed at my front door (where I'd just spent a minute screaming at dogs to shut up and trying to squeeze out without letting any of them out) and said, "Do you honestly think I NEED a home security system? Seriously?" He had to admit he didn't think I did.

I've been threatening to put up a sign on my front door. (My dh won't let me mine the front yard. Damn.) So after the second guy left (and mind you, I was REALLY po'd by this time because I was on a serious deadline with a manuscript) I printed up a sign and taped it to my front door.

NO!

This is a NO SOLICITATION community!

A VERY cranky writer lives here! Do NOT ring the doorbell

or knock! We won't buy it, we won't vote for it, and we dang

sure aren't converting to it! Unless you're a friend, family, neighbor,

delivery person, or expected repair technician/appointment,

DON'T DO IT!

God help the first idiot that thinks they'll be the "special" one that I didn't mean on that sign. It's written in very huge Cooper Black text. I don't know how much clearer I can be.

Here's a Friday Funny for You

madmumbler — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:01:00 GMT

(I don't know who wrote this, but it's hysterical!)

Women Are Evil By Nature...

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

'Actually, no,' he replied.

'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Yes. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, handsoap, or paper towels in the ladies room.'

I needed this today...funny puppy videos.

madmumbler — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:36:00 GMT

If you don't at least smile at one of these two videos, you might need to file a report for your missing soul.

Gremlin Dog Video

Puppy Vs. Robot Video (I admit I got this from one of Olivette's post and it's too funny not to share again.)

Woot!

madmumbler — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:37:00 GMT

I've always wanted to use that phrase. Woot! A friend of mine on a writing email list is from Australia and uses it all the time. Woot!

My Woot! is because I'm doing the happy Snoopy dance over the pages in my hand. A contract. A real, honest to God contract offer from a publisher for my vampire romance.

Woot!

They're an e-publisher, but they also put out selected titles in print as sales warrant. I've done the research, they seem to be a good company, so we'll see what happens.

Woot! (God I love saying that!)

I'll provide more Woot! details as I Woot! navigate the process.

Woot!

Get Your Motor Running...

madmumbler — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:49:00 GMT

This one is from the "I WISH I was making this up" files. Apparently there's a guy named Edward Smith in Washington State who gives new meaning to the term "motorhead" - he loves his rides.

No, seriously, he LOVES them. The article doesn't get into graphic specifics (thank God for small favors) but this guy literally gets off on a good ride and claims to have had sex with over 1,000 cars.

Not in them, WITH them.

Let the puns begin. (Feel free to put them in the comments.)

(Maybe now we know why the little Nash Rambler went "beep beep!")

Florida "Rules"

madmumbler — Thu, 29 May 2008 17:02:00 GMT

A friend of mine sent me this by email today. She is also a native Floridian. Enjoy.

You will only appreciate if you have spent a long time in Florida.....

    *You're a Floridian if.... *
    1. Socks are only for bowling.
    2. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
    3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
    4. Your winter coat is made of denim.
    5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
    6. You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
    7. Anything under 70 is chilly.
    8. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
    9. You could swim before you could read.
    10. You have to drive north to get to The South.
    11. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
    12. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
    13. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
    14. You dread love bug season.
    15. You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
    16. You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
    17. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
    18. You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
    19. 'Down South' means Key West
    20. You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York.
    21. Flip-flops are everyday wear.
    22. Shoes are for business meetings and church,
    23. but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
    24. Sweet tea can be served at any meal
    25. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
    26. You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida.
    27. You measure distance in minutes.
    28. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
    29. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
    30. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
    32. You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
    33. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
    34. It's not soda, cola, or pop. it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, 'What kinda coke you want?'
    35. Anything under 95 is just warm.
    36. You've hosted a hurricane party.
    37. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
    38. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
    39. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee
    40. You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than owning a boat yourself.
    41. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
    42. You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.
    43. You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
    44. You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
    45. You not only forward this but you understand it.

Where's my Kevlar?

madmumbler — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:23:00 GMT

The Boo (12, spina bifida, w/c racer) is taking up archery. He qualified for it at the Dixie Games and will be doing it at Nationals.

Goody.

Sense the enthusiasm level in my voice?

Not that I'm against him doing archery, don't get me wrong. (Especially after hauling him up to Venice yesterday to drop $100 in a target bag, new bowstring, arm guard, arrows, etc, etc.) But where we live isn't exactly in the middle of nowhere, and it's tricky setting up a target in our backyard so we don't endanger lives, animals, or have to fish arrows out of the canal (or the side of my house).

I wonder if you can buy body armor on eBay?

And he loves doing it, so of course, we're going to do it. He's using an old recurve bow, the guy at the store checked it, it's pulling about 35 pounds. I used to be decent at archery, but with the arthritis in my hands, it's now problematic for me to pull a recurve, even if it's only 35 pounds.

So far he hasn't injured or killed anyone (although the inside of his left arm is getting pretty black and blue where he keeps hitting himself with the bow string) but one of the small sea grape trees in our backyard is filling out a new will and testament.

It's interesting when you have to halt practice due to squirrels or herons crossing the practice range. And I told him that if any arrows miss the target bag and end up in a pile of dog pooh, HE gets to get it and clean it. He didn't like that idea, but he finally agreed. (Hey, if it helps him take better aim, all the better.) I did try to talk him into shooting apples off my ex-husband's (his father's) head, but he's apparently not keen on that idea. Nertz.

My husband (aka "The Best Husband in the World") surprised me, though. He took a turn on the bow and he's actually a good shot. I didn't realize he was good at archery.

So now we have yet another sport to add to the Boo's list of activities. I told him if he stays with it, we'll invest in more/newer equipment as he progresses. (No, not a compound bow, I want him shooting a recurve, it's better exercise for him, might help him with his upper body strength.) The local shop said they have lessons again starting in September, so we might sign him up for that, too.