It doesn’t matter how we slice it, the bottom line is: when we have disability the world is a much crueler place. It may have been the cruel world (or people) who caused our disability in the first place. People say ignorant things when we’re out in public. Places we ought to be able to go are near impossible to get to. At the very least, the world doesn’t understand life with disability and it doesn’t really want to. Hrrrrmph.

Yes, it’s an ugly chip on my shoulder. Holding a grudge against whatever or whoever has affronted me makes life harder.  I am indeed more disabled because of it.

The Rose in Rose cartoon strip uses a wonderful visual for being angry at someone: Rose suddenly finds herself in a deep and hopeless dungeon cell. Sure, she can rage against the injustice of it all, but doing so just makes her prison darker. Brutal. But what can we do? The world is taking it’s sweet time in coming to understand!

There is only one thing I can do to improve the situation. No. Not revenge. Forgive.

What is forgiveness? Is it entering some odd state of imposed ignorance about what someone has done? No. Is it not holding them accountable for needing to make wiser choices in the future? No.

Forgiveness is letting go of the hold the past has on us — preventing us from being in the present. Forgiveness lets us out of our own prison. Forgiveness is telling someone “I don’t hold what you did against you anymore.”

I can’t forgive the person who caused my disability!
Understandable. But it’s you that is prevented from living life by your anger and resentment, not them. Do you really want to give that much more power to them?

You needn’t necessarily see them or even talk with them. Write them a letter. Place it in the fire. Light it. And see the cracks of your prison begin to crumble the place down.

If you have difficulty, talk with a priest or minister. They can walk with you.

Just how important is forgiveness?
For Christians, forgiveness is so important Jesus links our ability to forgive with our salvation. That’s right. God forgives us to the extent we forgive others. After giving the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus says “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt 6:14-15, NRSV).

How we forgive someone can be very challenging and very personal. Have you found a way to forgive that has helped you? Help others benefit from your wisdom — share it in the comment’s section.