spirtualsanctuary

FORWARD

2008-09-29T14:20:00Z

""You can't move forward until you let go of where you are." A friend sent this unattributed quotation to me today, and it really struck a chord. I won’t say I have been depressed this summer, but I have been, in a way. I have been in sort of a ‘rut’ I have wanted some new things, but done nothing to get them. I have spent time just looking at the sky. Now that can be a very, very good and relaxing thing, but for me, now, it has been a way to avoid the next steps I have wanted to take. This quotation cracked the mental barrier I had, and I realized what the problem was. I had an image of myself, following the onset of my disability, and my slow recovery to the level of severe disability I still have (but a livable level, as in, “I am breathing, and can love, and so on). It was, “Bonnie the Disabled Person who Now Functions At Her Best When She Can,” and that was it. I have been an advocate, I published my writing, I volunteer as a hospice chaplain, I maintain my marriage; it seemed as if I was doing pretty well. Talk about Self Satisfaction. Pride. Complacency. I was who I was, and it is no wonder I wasn’t going any further forward. I was treading water-- in place. A painful realization. I realized this morning that I have mental goals, some of which I have actually worked hard on. I am establishing a non-profit for dental care for needy disabled people, I am starting a “mixed-ability” dance group, I am training my new dog. But I am doing it as the “Old Bonnie.” I have not allowed myself to see myself as a person who is growing, or able to grow at this time in my life, and that is the reason these wonderful projects will fail if I do not change that image. I have realized that I am not that person. I am not a static persona. I am someone who is not fixed in time or place or function or ability: I am who I am today. I will be who I am tomorrow. Carrying the IMAGE of my previous self is as destructive to my good intentions as carrying the image of my able bodied self.

Starting today, I will let go of where I am. A new thought.

changing seasons of life by Becky Watson (re-posted for The Spiritual Sanctuary Group)

2008-09-29T13:33:00Z

i knew that nature has changing seasons but i guess i never thought how different seasons in a person's life can be.

i guess i took growth and becoming an adult for granted. The years passed and i went from child to teenager to adult. My Polio i considered part of my childhood.Then i married, became a wife and mother and again the years passed and i thought very little about the changes i was going through. i was a professioanl woman, had a career and though i was a creative person. When i was growing up my family labeled me the "writer" and my sister as the "artist". i accepted the fact that writing was my outlet for being creative. A career as a newspaper feature writer proved me right. At least for 13 years i was correct.

Then the disability that i had ran from (figuratively as well as phsyically) started making changes in my life. Changes that were small but did not go away. i began looking for part time work because the fatique was getting noticeable. i created a good stout oak cane cause my doctor told me that he was noticing balance problems. When I had to walk a long way i would use it but at my job it was hidden.

My daughter grew up and presented me with two grandsons and for several years i was able to react and play with them as an able person. i was excited about becoming a grand parent, all be it a bit sooner than i thought. And it would have continued if not for a leg made weak from Polio and a syndrom that was rearing its ugly head.

i was walking into the kitchen of the art gallery i worked at when my foot caught on a wooden flat that was being stored there. i fell and there was no getting up. i was by myself and i was not able to reach the phone on the kitchen wall. I crawled my way to the front of the gallery and knocked the phone off the front desk. I was able to call my supervisor and she called 911. i had shattered my right knee cap(the polio leg)..replacement was the only option. normally with a knee replacement it takes a couple months to get back on your feet and back to normal. It took me two years. I worked as i was able in the gallery until the college who ran the place decided to close the entire place down. i was the last employee left. The college made no attempt to place me any where else. I went 9 nine months looking for a job, going to an interview on a walker does not have a postitive impression. i guess when you claim workman's comp for a serious accident, you should not expect to remain with that employer.

i finally found a position with a local printer who needed a laser engraver. i worken four hours a day, five days a week. Was enough to me to do but not enough to live on. Was promised full time but that never materialzed. Was getting ready to try for disability, after 18 months on the job, when i got a call 20 minutes before i was supposed to show up for work. Because of low sales, my services would no longer be needed. i could pick my check up on friday, my employer would pay me for that week.

So it was back on unemployment with the added stress of trying to get all the paperwork and whatever for SSDI. i finally had to accept that the Post Polio Syndrom was winning and i was going to do some major changes. For most of my life i had not accepted Polio as a lifetime disability. i saw it as a serious childhood illness that i was beating as an adult. i heard all the horror stories about being turned down for SSDi the first time just on principle and it taking two years to get anything.

During the time i was forced to be either bed or chair bound my prayer life and my Christian walk became stronger. I was not getting anywhere on my own and as i call Jesus my Lord, source and rock, i realized i could turn to him for the answers.

i got unemployment and sent in all the SSDI paperwork late in Jan. i started the waiting period, knowing that nothing ws gonna be quick. To my surprise my prayers were answered and SSDI was given to me starting in July. My unemployment ended in July but i was given 13 weeks extended benefits. i still have not been able to find a job so its still very tight financially but it is getting better.

It is no longer an option to just let the days and years pass, knowing there is more out there. Things are really changing and i have to take note and pay attention. My daughter and her children are moving out and going out of state. My husband has been dianosed with prostate cancer and while i know the success rate of treatment for that illness, it is a major change in our relationship. He has always been my supporter and what i have been unable to do he has done it for me. Now our relationship is somewhat based on my good arms and his good legs....between us we have one able body.

i am having to accept that i am house bound for awhile. i broke three toes on my polio leg last december and it has taken this long to get back to walking with a cane and wheeled walker. i appreciate the fact i can walk at all but it is very difficult. more so than any other time in my life. This is a season of slowing down, accepting the label of disabled and deciding what that will mean to me and how i will live my remaining years. i want to remain creative but have lost interest in writing and my seed bead embroidery that i have been doing for 20 years. i am praying for direction about what i am to do next and received the still small voice that says "wait and create".

funny thing is i have been receiving mail from places i had never heard of telling me i was entering a new season of my life and didn't i want to buy the book of secrets that would make me wealthy and wise beyond my wildest dreams. i don't believe in a book of secrets, my source is the holy Bible so i will depend on it .i will depend on the God of all seasons, leran to be content where i am, knowing that He will lead me where He wants me to go and be.

Blessings

Becky W

Let Us Continually Praise God, Giving Thanks-posted by Miracle 21 (reposted for The Spiritual Sanctuary Group)

2008-09-15T04:08:00Z

Hebrews 13:15 NKJV

At a Women of Faith conference they were short of space for 150 people, so the staff brought in narrower chairs. Everyone had a seat, but conditions in the auditorium were cramped and nobody was happy. The director asked the guest speaker, Joni Eareckson Tada, to help calm the crowd. A childhood diving accident had left Joni quadriplegic and confined to a wheelchair. As the attendants pushed her out onto the platform she addressed the audience: "I understand some of you don't like the chair you're sitting in. Well, neither do I! But I've a thousand handicapped friends who'd gladly trade places with you." Immediately the hall went quiet and the complaining stopped.

When Paul was training Timothy he said, "Be strong in the grace that is in Christ" (2 Timothy 2:1), and gratitude is an offshoot of grace. The Bible says, "Let us continually [not just when you feel like it!] offer the sacrifice of praise to God… giving thanks to His name." After the Bible expositor Matthew Henry was accosted and robbed he wrote in his diary: "Let me be thankful, first, that I was never robbed before, second, that although they took my purse they didn't take my life, third, that although they took everything I had, it wasn't much, fourth, that it was I who was robbed, and not I who did the robbing."

If you're struggling to find something to be grateful for today, here's a good reason: "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever" (Psalm 118:29 NIV).

10 warning signs of good health

2008-08-19T17:38:00Z

As most of you know already I really have found Hay House Radio to be a great help in dealing with the last couple of years while going thru the trauma and drama of my injury. The power of positive thinking isn’t new but still very effective. This past week I was going through the listed programs to see who was talking about what when I came across this The 10 warning signs of Good Health. I listened to the show last night on a pod cast and I felt like sharing from it. The lady’s show this is from is Carol Ritberger Ph. D. a medical intuitive. I’ve included the link to her sight and Hay House Radio as well incase anyone cares to check it out.

http://www.ritberger.com/

http://www.hayhouseradio.com/

As a side note the current shows each week on Hay House are free. If you want to dig in the archives you have to join their group. It comes to less them $4 a month and was one of the few things I’ve saved for to get myself. It’s been cheaper then therapy and helped me so much it was worth it.

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10 warning signs of good health

1 – Chronic positive expectations – You recognize that you have a “can do” attitude.

2 – Random acts of kindness – finding yourself doing things for people and wanting to do more. The shift of awareness from yourself to others.

3 – Episodic outbreaks of laughter and joyfulness – When you find yourself laughing more then you will find yourself getting better and feeling better.

4 – You desire a sense of Spiritual involvement – You want to know more about Spirit, your soul and why you are here.

5 – You are open to change - rather then resisting change you find your self adapting to change and embracing it.

6 – You find yourself recovering more rapidity when stressed. You have discovered how to minimize the impact and shorten the cycle.

7 – There is an increase in physical activity. You actually want to get up and start doing things.

8 – You find yourself sharing your feelings both good and bad. When we don’t feel well we tend to pull in and not want to complain to people.

9 – Uncontrollable feelings of gratitude.

10 – A persistent sense of humor that is the shock absorber of life.

In The Flesh by Fibrochick (re-printed with permission for The Spiritual Sanctuary Group)

2008-08-04T16:43:00Z

Faro Central hospital was not such a great hospital in those days, the emergency section was the size of an ordinary doctors waiting room, it was packed with people. My chest felt like it was going to cave in, my right arm felt like I had a bunch of elastic bands around it, and all the veins were pertruding.

I was eventually seen by a very pleasant female doctor, she was more worried about the arm. I told her that I was in a lot of pain and she sympathised with me and said that she could tell, my heart was racing.

I thought they might keep me in for observation or something, I was so wrong. They just gave me an injection and sent me home. The pain in the chest didn-t subside completely, my arm felt heavy and clumsy. I just had to see how things would go from there.

Inside I knew the pain was there to stay, and it never every really went away completely, even to this day I get pangs.

I thought about my recently aquired knowledge on God and love and the like, and concentrated on that rather than the pain. I read more of the bible.

Love it seemed was the answer to everything. And to truly love another person, whether it be a spouse a friend or family, its not always as easy as it may seem, but once we master it, it makes life so different. I was determined to make my life with my husband work. I wouldnt pay back ill deed for another ill deed, with anybody. I felt a huge transformation within, and without.

he house we were in was in the country, I had only lived in Cities before. This had also made a huge impact on me. Vegetation, trees which produce fruit, which contain seeds to produce more trees and more fruit! Could man ever acheive that? I dont think so. I had proof all around me that there does indeed exist a creator.

My phisical discomfort continued, and my husband and mother were getting irritated by my philosophical declarations on God and Life etc. But I had nobody else to talk to. We were in the Santa Barbara Mountains (in Portugal not the USA) in the middle of the country, the nearest bus stop was a half hour away on foot, and we only had two services a day, the morning and the evening.

Inside I felt so good an liberated but my physical body was inhibiting me, like a bird in a cage. The pains got worse and I went to a local doctor. I just talked gibberishas my Portugues wasn-t so good, I am not really surprised she gave me tranquilisers. Of course I threw them away. I knew there was something else. I actually once thought that maybe it was necessary that I suffered to really understand life.

Experience in the flesh.

2 Corinthians 12: 7 To keep me from being conceited because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me...

Contrary to Paul I didnt plead with the Lord to take it away, who am I to tell the Lord what to do?

So I carried on..

Finding God and Fibro Pain by Fibrochick (re-posted with permission for The Spiritual Sanctuary Group)

2008-08-04T14:33:00Z

The winter was over and the sun began to shine, but I still felt down. The winter had been harsh and my relationship with my partner was waning. I started to wonder about life, and asked the much too asked question.

Whats is it all about?

I was very lonely. I never saw my mother or my aunt, even though they lived close by, (My mum actually lived in a caravan on the same land) and my partner was not the best conversationalist. I felt completely alone, and that hadnt been the idea I had in mind. I was supposed to be starting a new life. Suddenly I found myself playing house with a man who now seemed to detest me, and my alcoholic mother on my doorstep.

My partner has a disability and has no use of his right hand, so he would frequently find me chores to do which he was unable to. Like digging etc. It was hard work. I was just on automatic pilot and did whatever he asked, whilst trying to uncover the mysteries of mans existence.

I found an old Guideons Bible from school, and I thought OK then God, if you exist let me know. I can honestly say, I was hooked immedietly. It was much more contraverial than I had thought, and didnt say things like the soul goes to heaven, and Adam and Eve ate an apple etc. lol.

I read practical all the new testament, the book of revalation being of particular interest due to its simbolism.

One weekend we took atrip with some friends to Ceuta, Spanish Morocco. The journey was awful, we went by car, and these people drove like maniacs. I was rather pleased I had my new found faith to protect me(lol) Orlanda was particulary agressive towards me for some reason, she thought I couldnt understand Portugues and would say the meanest things about me. It is quite funny looking back.

Once in Ceuta, my husband just thought of hash and how to get some, It spoilt the whole trip. It was more stressful than anything else. I was so pleased to get home.

There I had been brainstormed, I became euphoric and hiper. I just wanted to tell everybody what I had learned..Gods plan for mankind, what Jesus really said and much more. My freind came over from England, with another friend who had just tried to commit suicide and I so wanted to help her, but when I tied to expain the great marvel of our creator I just sounded lik a gibbering idiot! It didnt go down well.

My friend wasnt impressed and treated me badly the rest of their holiday, although I dont think she was aware she did.

I had God, I could cope with anything, I thought I had found him, when the truth was he wasnt lost, I was the one who had been lost. He had found me.

Not long later, I got severe chest pain, radiating to the arm, possible due to all the digging and lugging around heavy bags in Ceuta. After three days I couldnt bear it anymore and went the hospital. After that I gained the Fibro experience!!!

Next blog> In the flesh

The Power of Meditation by IanBiallie (re-posted with permission for the Spiritual Sanctuary Group).

2008-07-31T21:52:00Z

One of the many important happenings during my rehab came about because I was restricted in my movements during the early months. This mean't that I had more time to read and learn more about how I could help my recovery and get b ack to riding my bike and being a better husband and father. I had picked up paper back called 'Super Learning ' by 'Sheila Ostrander & Lynn Schroeder ' which really got through to me and introduced me to the Power of Meditation and Relaxation. As a result I made a web search search and found the'Holosync Method ' website. http://www.centerpointe.com I purchased the first stage CD's and haven't looked back. Have any of you tried ' Meditation '??? Please advise. Cheers Ian

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jellyphish wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 4:18 AM

I too have read quite a bit about recovery, i think like you, i have found that focusing on both mind and body are absolutely necessary in approaching how we go about life. I have used both holosync and hemi-sync (the latter being the older) for meditational purposes for a number of years and frankly i just absolutely love them both. In fact, currently i am using a cd from hemi-sync called "pain management" frequently as my back is causing me some aggravation and find the cd as effective as any narcotic. The advantage of holosync is that as you progressively listen they alter the tones (the binaural frequencies) so that your nervous system has to continually adapt, bringing you into deeper states of consciousness. Hemi-sync does this as well with their "gateway program", but not in their respective single cd's. Personally i like both and can't recommend them highly eneough.

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bonniethesurvivor wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 8:45 AM

I have used the "Holosync" Cd's and think they are very very strong. Additionally, I have been meditating for over 20 years with my teacher, Darshan Singh, and that group can be located at <www.SOS.org.>. They are a world wide group with several hundred members, with a line of meditation teachers reaching back hundreds of years. They are the center of my life, and do note require that a member leave his/her home religion. I have found an incredible strength in meditation that I did not believe I would ever discover, and it has helped me with pain, life difficulties, and just generally improved my life in every way. bonnie

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Mshores wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 9:04 AM

I had never been able to do the longer or deepr meditations like my sisters do. Then I got hurt and had to go thru a slow down transition. While dealing with that I came across Hay House Radio http://www.hayhouseradio.com/ and their programs helped me greatly. They have a mix of their authors who do weekly live shows. The themes range from meditations, the power of positive thought, soul coaching, and energy work, to sound healing, angel therapy, intuitive health, astrology, numerology, mediums, etc... A lot of more traditionally minded people think of it all as Metaphysical but I have found there is something for everyone. I have learned many thing and feel like I have progressed not only physically but mentally too to a healthier me. They have shows you are able to listen to streaming. They just recently took the archives and made us sign up and pay for access to them. This really wasn't a bad deal tho because they added some nice benefits to the membership and still made the cost low enough I could afford it. I have paid more for a video game then what I did with the membership and gotten a lot less for it too. I listen to a show as my slow down time in bed right before I go to sleep. I do know that they have an Aussie division too. Look on the side bar on their front page. Shelly

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bonniethesurvivor wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 9:12 AM

Sorry, my comment regarding membership in my meditation group should have read "several hundred THOUSAND members. bonnie

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Lea wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 11:30 AM

I listen to meditation, visualization, relaxation CDs all the time. Bernie Siegal and Louise Hay are 2 of my favorites. Right now I am reading "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay. At times listening to their CDs works as good as taking a pill or at least makes the medicine work a lot better. Having to adjust your life physically can be overwhelming at times and self hypnosis , meditation visualization CDs tapes books DVD have helped me and do help me.

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nanal wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 1:03 PM

Hi Ian.......sounds like you've discovered a wonderful aid.......for healing.......being a better husband and father. .......I.ve heard about the many benifits of meditation.......and want to know more about it...................I've dealt with my disability for 26 years now........and found that my faith has kept me grounded,,,,,,,and on solid ground.........giving me light......truth.......and the energy to keep on........keeping on...........best of luck to you in dealing with your present situation..........and the meditation..........peace and love.......Norma

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beckywatson49 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 1:09 PM

Hi, meditation is a great way to deal with pain and stress. As a Christian I turned to the Contemplitive Prayer Life website to find that meditation is an ancient part of the church. A prayer called the Centering Prayer is a 20 minute exercise of being silent and just being in the presence of God, no visulization, allowing thoughts to come but treating them as boats on a river, allow them to float on by without pulling them in. It is a great way to relax and release the tension and pain I feel because of Polio and Post Polio Syndrom. Becky

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Staci Skabelund wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 5:18 PM

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Meditation and self-hypnosis has helped me considerably. I need to practice more often. I saw a doctor who after 30 minutes of guiding me through meditation or hypnosis, made me feel wonderul. It is very helpful and I appreciate the website info. I plan on looking it over. I will sometimes get on You Tube and search for meditation or self-hypnosis and sometimes get lucky with a good one. The importance is sticking with it and try to be in the "state"at all times. I have a long way to go but have appreciated having this tool. For me it is also spiritual, so it brings peace in to my life during times when I feel like shouting or crying. Thanks again for your comments. Staci

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Randolph Directo (HealingMindN Medicine Man) wrote on Jul 14, 2008 at 5:42 PM

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Hi Ian, I've studied and practiced different forms of meditation through most of my life. I tried the free holosync sample. I'm dissappointed that a rep was talking through most of it, or else I would have gotten more out of it. When it comes to brainwave entrainment, Mind Stereo by Transparent Corp is what floats my boat. Since you're having some physical difficulty, I recommend wai tan qigong or moving meditation exercises of which - taijiquan is best known. Hua T'o, inventor of the first general anesthetic and brain surgery around the 13th century also invented a form of aquatherapy wherein the practitioner does taijiquan like movements while suspended in water; these actions invigorate and restore circulation to the limbs. Nei tan qigong or still meditation is also good therapy when done correctly according to application. For those experiencing difficulty with moving their limbs, simply imagine the movement of that limb. For example, you remember what it feels like to straighten your right leg from a sitting position. Just imagine every every impulse, every muscular contraction necessary to simply straighten your right leg. Feel the movement and warmth of your limb is you continuously exercise it, but in your mind. Here's they key to instantly slip into a trance: Remember natural deep breathing towards the diaphram as waves of energy flowing through you. Feel your head supported as if by a string from above. Relax your focus as if looking at the distant horizon of the ocean. Relax yor jaw by letting it drop slightly. These actions relax cranial nerves 1 - 5 to allow your neural patterns to slip into lower frequencies. Command instant relaxation by mastering these simple actions. Look up HealingMindN Meditation on YouTube or Veoh for a 10 minute trip through your personal enlightenment. Cheers

IanBaillie wrote on Jul 16, 2008 at 11:00 PM

Thank you all, I am pleased that some of you are getting some positives out of Meditation. Thanks for the info on other worthwhile Meditation sites I will check them out. Cheers Ian

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RoxAnn wrote on Jul 24, 2008 at 2:24 PM

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I have been meditating for more than 15 years. Recently, I have slacked off and noticed that the nerve pain in my legs has increased. I think the slowed breathing and relaxation help to calm the nerves, increases circulation and opens up any blocked areas.

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george wrote on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:46 AM

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thanks for this tip; i had a right-brain stroke in 2006 and a recent neuropsyche exam suggested that i need highh level cognitive rehabilitation and stress management and i've been advised to try meditation; it's difficult to quiet my mind but i keep trying; thanks again

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george wrote on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:51 AM

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george wrote on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:52 AM

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george wrote on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:52 AM

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Messages from Spirit are no joke

2008-07-29T20:58:00Z

I mentioned on an earlier post I was going to talk about the Spirituality group I had joined here in town and why I wasn’t planning on going back. I guess the short version is that my gut is telling me that this is a case of someone doing the right thing for the wrong reasons and in this case I feel like it was for the money. The group started out as a 2 Saturday, 2 hour workshop on Spirituality that was supposed to cover a lot of what I call basics. Most of the ladies there I think of as the “Church of Oprah” because what they know of “Spirituality” is what Oprah has had on her show. She’s showcased The Secret which is a movie talking about manifesting and the powers of positive thinking. Now Oprah has Eckhart Tolle and his book A New Earth set up as online classes. All of this is opening new doors for a different generation into the views of Spirituality that us old timers used to call New Age or Metaphysics. None of that is new but seems to be more marketed for the current generation. Not a bad thing since it seems to be bringing many people into a relationship with Spirit (or God) which seems to be lacking out in the free world in many ways. What I mean by that is that it used to be almost everyone in the community went to church on Sunday. Stores were closed, families had big dinners together… a very “Mayberry” type of thing but times were slower then and people took time for each other.

Anyway this group was to meet those first 2 Saturdays to talk about different topics dealing with Spirituality. It was being lead by a lady who is a “certified” medium (which was interesting) but when I got there I was worried because most of the people in the class were her clients. Yes there was a charge for the class ( $25 a class or $40 for both upfront) so take 12 ladies there for the 2 classes and not a bad little haul for a small class. For me it was refreshing to be able to talk about some of the topics and not have people look at me like I was a fruit loop. After a while I was noticing that this lady teaching the class was only giving out pieces of the info she chose to and not the whole pie (so to speak). Normally I try and stay quiet in a situation like this but I found myself turning into Chatty Cathy and adding the missing info she was leaving out. She was not pleased but couldn’t stop me and found herself having to say several times “Well… yes you are correct.” After the 2 Saturdays the group wanted to keep going because they were just getting comfortable in asking questions. So the teacher changed the group to a “development circle” and made it a once a month meeting. She held a make up Saturday for anyone who had not made it to both the original classes so now there are 16 of us in the group. So far we have had 2 monthly meetings, both very different and have made me see I am better off doing my own thing then paying to deal with some of this “happy crap”. The first new meeting was one where we started with her talking about how she got into being a medium and then the last hour we broke down into pairs and tried Psychometry. Psychometry is the ability to detect information about people, places or events, from the past or present, by holding an object connected with the place or the person. The latest meeting and my final, she brought a guest for the class. It was another girl who had graduated with her from the medium school that certified them. I wasn’t real impressed because she spent huge amounts of time talking about herself, her old life in LA and what is now apparently a living off Mom and Dad’s very well money filled life. The last 10 minutes of the class they decided that they would “open themselves up to Spirit” and see who would come through with any messages.

Now this is where I got fed up with this whole thing. It wasn’t the whole getting messages from the other side. I am a firm believer that the energy of our soul doesn’t just go away when we pass over. Yes, I believe in Angels and Spirit Guides as well. But these two made the whole thing into a huge joke, out of all of us they had messages for me and another lady in the group. I passed it to the other lady as I honestly knew that there wasn’t a message for me. They kept insisting the other lady had a son “in spirit” (meaning passed over) and she kept telling them no I don’t. After a while they chose to try me and it got worse. They told me my message was “I needed to bond as one with my husband to get thru this time of trouble.” The look on their faces when I said I wasn’t married was priceless…nope, no boyfriend either and unless I had a stalker, no guy near my house. <rolls eyes>

They broke up the class really fast after that and stayed away from me...in fact no one else in the group would talk to me. What really bothers me is that the lady sitting next to me… in fact between me and the first lady they tried to read for… had lost a son a few months before. I am very sure that any message they had was to be for her. What ticked me off was they refused to listen when we said “No that isn’t right”. If you’ve ever watched John Edward or John Holland work with a group setting there can be “bleed-overs” in energy that are normal and you can’t always pin point the exact person who you are getting a message for. To me this was a couple of so called professional people who were clowning around with real people, real feelings and spiritual messages.

Before you all call me a fruit loop please feel free to check out the following links. I suggest you look at life with an open mind and see how you might get messages from Spirit and not even realize it. It might be that gut feeling you have when something is wrong or suddenly knowing who is on the phone when it rings.

Many blessing to you all

Shelly

http://www.johnedward.net http://www.johnholland.com http://www.colettebaronreid.com http://www.hayhouseradio.com

A Christian Moment by Sister Lisa Catherine Obl S.B.

2008-07-29T17:02:00Z

God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Is God testing you lately? He wants to see if you love him. Have you failed? Don't worry; he still loves you--enough to keep testing you until you finally pass!

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I got this in my email this morning, I get dailey reflections all the time and find them useful in the day that comes with them... this one today I NEEDED very much !!

Spirit

2008-07-20T15:27:00Z

**This is a repost from my blog that Bonnie asked to be posted here. I;m pretty open to questions and discussions on Spirit. I just have trouble dealing with rude or pushy people not open to others opinions or experiences. I am working on a new post about my experiences with a spirituality group that has been meeting here in my small beach town since earlier in the year. I am not sure I will be going back after the last class adn want to discuss it. Many blessings to you all!!! Shelly**

In my family we are a mixed lot of German, Native American and who knows what else. There are a few of us who are throw backs to the Native American side and we're usually the ones who use the term Spirit meaning God. We're more into being Spiritual then being religious. I found out that Spirit has an odd sense of humor a long, long while ago. But it's only been the past few years I have come to appreciate how ironic it can be.

When I first fell and tore my Achilles tendon my older sister thought it was Spirit's way of telling me to slow down. I tried to point out that "slow down" is way different then dead in the water not able to walk. I was ignored on that point as I was effectively slowed down.

A few weeks ago my sister said she thought I needed to take a break away from the PC since I have lived on it as a life line since I got hurt. I told her I really didn't see the need since it was my main connection to real people. I should have known to listen to her as she seems to have a "direct connect" to Spirit in a way.

A week after her comment I suddenly developed tendonitis in my right hand and I was SHOCKED. Yes I am right handed. No PC and back to the evil world of PT (physical therapy or pain and torture... how ever you see it). Ok so now I was off the PC some, but not totally.

Then as I worked back up to being online like normal my video card suddenly fries.

No image no PC.

It took 4 days of bugging the hell out of an old techie friend to get it fixed. 4 days of pulling his butt out of bed before noon to get back online. 1 new video card, 1 new hard drive (it suddenly started boot failure) and a new external hard drive with a copy of my entire PC on it just incase something else happens.

This past week has been hard here with the heat in the 90s and the feels like 100. For a number of stupid reasons that I have no control over this side of the house has no AC. I have stayed because this is what I can afford and it is a wonderful safe neighborhood not far from the beach. Since I got hurt I have learned the past 2 summers to sleep with an ice pack and take cold showers to deal with the heat. All of this wears me out almost as much as my injury has.

At 11:30 last night about an hour into a deep sleep, fan blowing on me, hugging that ice pack all cozy.... Crack... BOOM!! The whole house shook with our warning of the first real good summer rain here. Now I know I have expensive surge protectors with phone line coverage because I live in an area that is basically all sand. A lightning strike north county can surge here with no notice of any storm happening. But I am not taking any chances. NO WAY!!!

I shot straight up dazed, tossed every thing aside and staggered out to the living room to pull the plug on the PC. I make it to the entry way and the motion light goes off blinding me so I stub my toe... AHHHHH I get the plugs pulled and the windows shut enough that the rain doesn't come in.

I stagger back to bed thinking life is good. The rain will cool things off and I will have a great night's sleep. Then from 3 doors down the neighbor's dog starts barking his fool head off for the entire storm... Spirit wins again

Spiritual Sanctuary

2008-05-27T18:22:00Z

Many of us are people of faith, who both seek and find spiritual sustenance in our relationship with God (by whatever name we identify Him/Her or the Universal Spirit). We may worship in different ways, and have different specific beliefs, but we of faith share some common bonds of intent. We desire to live a God centered life, with service, prayer, perhaps study, and communion with the Holy Spirit (again, by whatever name we use here).

Some folks at Disaboom have expressed interest in finding a way to interact with others of faith, with various goals in mind. Some are interested in how faith strengthens their ability to deal with disability, others are interested in how their disability has brought them to faith. The thought is that many are interested in a dialogue of sorts regarding their faith issues, in the context of disability, and their lives in general as people, regardless of whether they are disabled or not

It is my suggestion that the Spiritual Sanctuary Group can have this dialogue now through the use of our blog system, whereby we can post our various theologies and thoughts, and comment on each others’ blogs as we feel moved to do so. We can also use Personal Messages to form networks of like minded individuals for more in-depth discussions. In this way, we could share the common bond and need that has been expressed to form a more communicative community and discover the beauty and strength of each others’ faith.

It is my hope that if such a communication were to begin, it would be done in the Light of Trust and Compassion. We will certainly have differences of theology, and that, in my view, is just fine. What is important is that we use this format to reinforce and communicate about our faith, and not have a negative discussion about differences of opinion. The thought that this is a “Sanctuary” is uppermost in my mind: a place to find solace, comfort, and rest in God’s Spirit.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To start this effort, I will offer some thoughts about my own theology/practice. Perhaps others will then blog about their own belief systems, or how their faith has helped them. Perhaps some will comment on my blog, and a discussion could ensue from there. Whatever, I am offering this as a starting place for us to build a stronger faith community here at Disaboom for those who are people of faith.

MY RELIGIOUS PRACTICE:

It is my goal, and effort, to live my life in a God centered world, in communion with the Spirit, and living that message in my worldly actions and communications with others.

I was confirmed as a UCC Christian at age 13, and later ordained in the Episcopal Church in the 90’s. I have recently, following a move to a new city, joined a Methodist Church as I feel that the denomination I choose is less important than the faith community I am involved in. For me, in this time and place, this Church was the correct choice, for many reasons which I will not detail at this time.

I also have a meditation teacher, who teaches meditation in the context of an individual’s home religion. I have been a student of this practice since 1988. I attempt to spend a good deal of time daily in prayer/meditation. I also study the Bible, and attempt to follow my understanding of the teachings of Jesus, and the wisdom of the Jewish Scripture, and apply them to my daily life. From this study, I have the following understanding.

To follow a meditative practice, it is necessary to turn one’s eyes from the world, to turn the focus of one’s life toward following a path that will lead to communion with God. Now this does not mean LEAVING the world, in that service to others is a central part of the practice. It means understanding that the desires of the material culture of this earthly plane are not lasting, nor of true value. The meaning of God, for me, is love. That is what I try to find, practice, and value.

I believe the following, which is paraphrased from the teachings of my meditation group and explicated from the teachings of Jesus:

1) The game of love was created so the individual souls could journey through God’s creation and experience the creator in a myriad of forms.

2) The souls may feel separated from God, yearn for reunion and desire to travel

to the one true home.

3) We can have the following five guides to allow us to find the communion with the Holy Spirit:

a) Have Constant Remembrance of God

b) See God in all Creation

c) Love and Serve all

d) Be attached to God; don’t be distracted by worldly possessions or wealth

e) Yearn to go home

I find that there are issues which prevent true communion with the Spirit. To determine these, and work with them as a true servant of God, I do the following:

1. I make a list of my attachments to the physical world (wealth, covetousness, etc.).

2. I make a list of my attachments on the mental plane.

I then review the list of negative behavioral patterns/ emotions caused by material and mental attachments. I add to this list as needed.

I find the issues which prevent true communion with the Spirit are the following:

- Anger and violence

- Possessiveness

- Selfishness

- Pride of wealth

- Lust for more

- Fear of loss

- Worry of not attaining

- Jealousy

- Resentment

- Separatism

- Criticism

- Sadness

- Depression

I have found the following thoughts/exercises useful in my daily prayer life and meditations:

-I try not to get trapped by my expectations—I Leave the Back Door Open--when one

door closes, another door opens. If my expectations of a person exceed their individual limitations, I am doomed to feelings of negativity to that person.

-Hot Air Balloon Technique

When I want to release one of my worldly attachments that is causing me pain or is slowing down my spiritual growth, I imagine myself in a hot air balloon with a Spiritual Guide (Jesus, an angel, a wise person who has passed away but is still with me). I ask my guide to remove my worldly attachment that is weighing down the balloon and toss it over the side of the gondola. As the balloon lightens I see myself in the balloon rising higher toward God.

-I consider where will my attachment take me, to the World or to God?

When introspecting my short comings, I take a sheet of paper and make two columns. I label the first, to the world, and the second, to God and spiritual liberation. I ask myself what is my worldly attachment in this situation and how will it ultimately make me feel? I write my answer down in column one. Next, in column two, I write down how I will ultimately feel if I release this attachment and become attached to the sweetness of God’s bliss within myself. Once I see the out comes of each path, I find I will choose the path of less pain and eternal bliss.

-I try not to stack up hurdles– I Try Not To Get Overwhelmed By MY List—I Try To Do One Thing at a Time

-Transitional Time Out – I take a goal from my to do list, ask God for help – break the goal into small steps and focus completely on each step – when finished, I thank God for helping and go on to my next goal.

- I do my best and leave the rest to God.

- I thank God for Being so Gracious. Having the attitude of surrender to the ups and downs of life is a big help. I don’t know what is good for my spiritual progress or what I am being protected from. What ever comes my way I try to say, “Thank you God for giving me this gift, for being so Gracious.” When I am able to be deeply absorbed in God’s love, events in life aren’t good or bad, they are all within His will and I try to understand that they are just one step closer to going home.

- I yearn to be free of worldly attachments through the power of prayer.

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So, there, I have outlined my own personal belief system/practice. For those who would like a dialogue, please comment, or blog your own thoughts. They need not be so long as mine; you could feel free to be more Bible based in your statements . . .whatever is offered in the spirit of the Sanctuary would be fine. Please feel free to join this effort. My faith has held me up through my disability, something some of you may want to discuss. I simply offered my own general thinking as a way to start the discussion. It was my intention to Post this in the Spiritual Sanctuary Group, but for some reason the computer could not place it there. Peace.

Bonnie

Convictions

2008-05-02T02:13:00Z

Blind from birth, Susan was the epitome of a great CILO counselor: holding an MA in counseling and certificates in adaptive technology, she was an impressive young lady. She was my first introduction to CILO, where I was later to serve on the Board, and she was a delight with her 26 year old sunny attitude in the face of constant struggle.

Boyfriends were always an issue (able bodied vs. disabled—neither ever seemed to work out), transportation (the city disabled trans system left her waiting for her pick-up from work for an average of 1½ hours, with another hour transit time to her home), her direct supervisor was clearly jealous of her accomplishments and frequently assigned her tasks inappropriate to her job, her apartment manager thought she should not live alone and constantly harassed her, sometimes with a sexual overtone, and on and on.

Her life was not too easy.

All should have gone well for Susan in her job, but like many other paths in life, she had her issues: her “downfall” was that jealous supervisor. The supervisor was about 50 years old, in a wheelchair, with a speech impediment and other serious disability problems. Susan felt that this woman was not the right person to answer the CILO phone for new, incoming callers as she could not be understood on the telephone.

Rather than protecting her job, which she had fought hard to get, and needed to keep (who else would employ her?), she went to bat for what she thought was right for the consumer/client base of the agency. She wanted someone on that phone who could relate immediately to whoever was calling. There were several "challenging" meetings about the issue.

The day came when the executive director was away, and the supervisor was in charge of the office. She decided to take incoming calls herself. An emergency call came in, and Susan could hear her supervisor unable to communicate with the caller, who was clearly in some stage of distress.

Susan asked if she could help. The response from her supervisor was hostile. The call continued. Susan picked up on the line and discovered that the caller was suicidal. Susan intervened. She took the call, and initiated a “three way conversation” so that the caller could actually speak with someone who could make herself understood.

Susan lost her job for this action. Susan did not give up. She contacted the regional CILO officials, and filed a complaint when the executive director backed up her supervisor upon return. The complaint was denied.

Susan looked to be losing everything she had worked so hard for, and was terrified that she could not find another job. She was given a week to clear her office.

She continued to work with her remaining clients, including the suicidal client who had called that fateful day. The client, it turned out, had a father who was a senior City official.

When informed that Susan had stood up for her convictions and helped, possibly, to save his son’s life, he was influential in assisting Susan gain employment as a senior worker in a city agency dealing with disabled clients—an agency that had never before hired a disabled employee!

What I learned from Susan’s experience was that standing up for her convictions, at personal cost, can be much more important than security. She wanted to help more than she cared about her own needs. That is a very rare quality.

Susan taught me the power of conviction. Not all such stories would have a good ending. Luckily this one did. But, somehow, I think that “sunny Susan” would have landed on her feet no matter how her employment was resolved. She cared about her priorities, and was strong enough to stand behind them.