Social Acceptance & Tribalism

This post by girlwhocanfly got me to thinking.  Specifically, this line:  "Its funny the stigma ppl have on you when you are stuck in a wheelchair.  Like they look at you and not even comprehend that you have a mind and that you can speak for yourself which I find to be unnerving."

While the vast majority of people don't have quite that extreme a reaction to us, I'm sure we've all experienced some form of this.  Several years back I was looking to upgrade some hand-me-down furniture, so a buddy rode along with me as I went to Value City in search of a couch and loveseat.  After fending off the initial swarm of vultures salesmen, we browsed around a bit and found something to my liking.

Apparently Value City is equipped with some sort of electromagnetic intends-to-buy detection and alert system, because the instant I decided I wanted that particular set a blood-sucking parasite - damn, sorry that keeps happening - salesman magically appeared.

But he immediately addressed my friend.  My friend immediately directed him to me.  Then this guy doesn't even get through one sentence before he's talking to my friend again.

"Hey, uh..." - I squinted at his nametag - "Dan, I'm the one buying this couch, not him.  Now what's this about Scotchguard?"

Again, not one full sentence in, this guy goes back to addressing my friend.  My buddy just starts smirking because he sees me getting agitated.

"Dan!  I'm the one you need to be talking to since I'm the one spending the money here.  Now you're saying if I drop an ice cream cone..."

Then this cocksucker - ok, seriously, I think something might be wrong with my keyboard - gentleman actually interrupts me to answer my question to my friend, who sees my eyes go wide and nearly busts out laughing, knowing what's coming.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?!?  I am right here, I'm ready to spend fifteen-hundred dollars and you can't even fucking look at me?"  I'm going from memory here, but that's a pretty accurate quote.  I said a few more things - none of which I regret - and we left.  (I ended up getting a great set from their competitor in the same mall while entertaining that saleswoman with this same story.  She seemed to enjoy it, though that may have just been happy thoughts about her new commission.)

Now, having this sort of tale in mind, I read girlwhocanfly's next sentence: "I know in time that people will see people in wheelchairs to be normal people of society."

In a comment to her post I typed, "I hate to say it, but I'll bet medical technology advances to the point where wheelchairs and such are no longer necessary before we truly achieve society-wide acceptance.  There is so much aversion to difference embedded in human nature that some level of rejection will undoubtedly survive - just look at how persistent racial and religious strife is, just to name two."

For all our advances, we humans are still very tribal, and - whether we define our tribes by nationality, skin color, deity worship, political affiliation or rooting for the Red Sox versus the Yankees - we reflexively reject those outside our tribes, a behavior that serves to protect the group.  It's instinctual and it persists today.

The example of the salesman above is illustrative of this.  I don't think he merely hadn't learned how to interact with me (a silly notion in itself), but rather he was acting upon a very genuine impulse for him - he didn't identify me as a member of his tribe.  Because the fact is, he jeopardized and lost a sizable commission simply because he was unable or unwilling to address me directly, and the reason for that was undoubtedly the fact that I was in a wheelchair - or alternatively, the fact that I didn't belong in his tribe because I was perceived as too different.

Is that his fault?  Maybe not, but he was still an asshole for his conduct.

So with that, I leave you with this question:  Which are we more likely to see first - true universal social acceptance or medical advancements that allow us to heal and cure people, rendering wheelchairs and the like largely obsolete?

My money's on the technology; it's advanced almost incomprehensibly far over just the last 150 years and is accelerating.  Human nature, not so much.