Posted: 5/13/2008 at 06:09 PM
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So, guess what?! We have new neighbors! With kids! Yahoo!
(can you feel the sarcasm?)
Actually, these neighbors have lived across the street from us since November. But because of the terrible winter we had here in New England, neither we nor they spent much time outdoors in the freezing cold weather.
But now! Neighbors! With kids!
Six children, to be exact. Five girls, and one baby boy (who just turned one).
Two of the girls in particular have befriended Sweetie - the 4 1/2 year old, and the 6 1/2 year old. Both girls are nice, well behaved, and good playmates for Sweetie. I'm especially glad they've all discovered each other now that Sweetie is out of preschool. New friends for her are great. Really.
However! I'm not used to this! This is the first time Sweetie has made friends so close to home. They're located so close to us, in fact, that I cafefully have to plan the best times of day for Sweetie and I to spend some outdoor time in the sun. It all depends on my self determined time restraints:
If we go out now, I know the girls are home and may see us. This will result in them coming over and, in turn, end in a huge time commitment for me, staying outside much longer than originally intended to watch after the girls.
Or:
We should go out now, because I know at least some of the girls are at school. Sweetie and I won't have to stay out any longer than we (okay, I) want to. Easy and painless. Yay!
If only I were more comfortable with Sweetie and the girls playing together outside unsupervised. Maybe they are old enough to do so! Their parents sure don't seem concerned about keeping track of the girls (After six kids, I suppose I'd feel the same way). But, like I said, I'm just not used to all this.
Add in the fact that I'm not comfortable staying on my feet for so long, making sure of their whereabouts, and you can see why I'm always on the lookout for when it the best time for Sweetie and I to venture outside.
On a safety note, I'd hate for any of the girls to get hurt while under my supervision, as it would be that much more difficult for me to get to and attend to the injured girl, what with my slower, unsteady walking.
I know, I know. I must get over this. Cut the apron strings. Let Sweetie play and enjoy new people. Don't worry so much.
Oh! And here's a great thing! I can maybe even send Sweetie to play over at their house - giving me some much appreciated, and needed, Mommy Alone Time.
Ahhhh.... now that does sound nice!
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Somehow I missed the part where you're a bad mother. More like devoted, attentive and responsible.
Cheers! :)
I second the comment. I don't see any 'bad mothering' here. You don't know these kids, you are concerned about safety, about influence, sun exposure, your own endurance--all legit it seems to me!
I'm not a parent, so the following remark may be off base, but would it be possible to speak to the other parents? Explain that you enjoy their kids, but also need some "alone time" with your daughter, and would like to 'invite' the other girls over when its okay, which will be often? We had a next door neighbor when I was growing up who would not let us just run into the yard at any old time. It was an old fashioned version of the 'playdate,' even though next door, and often spontaneous. Just a phone call, "I'm free now for the girls" doesn't seem so bad to me. Sweetie is still a young child.
But, like I said, I am not really one to say here. I certainly do wish you all the warmest regards and best result. Bonnie
It doesn't sound like you're a bad mother. It sounds like you need to simply learn to say NO. *LOL*
But don't be afraid to befriend the neighbors. Maybe they can provide valuable babysitting! *LOL*
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