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Name: Tiffiny

Location: Minneapolis, MN

Sex: Female

Status: Single

Want to Become an Instant Celebrity? Become Disabled!

Posted: 9/18/2007 at 06:10 PM

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A fellow female quad (and hysterical I might add) friend of mine, from an unnamed locale in sunny (and oh-so-coveted on my end) Florida, has seriously invented one of the best lines ever in regards to life with a sudden disability: "When you get a SCI, you're an instant celebrity." And she's right! Well to a degree at least...

You definitely do receive some of the bennies of being a celeb, like getting scurried to the front of lines at clubs, to the front rows at small concert venues, and even scurried to the front of the heinously long lines at most of the rides in Disney Land (or World; whatever your "happy place" poison might be). But the reasons, oh the reasons, you get this "celeb-like" treatment my friends, are for MUCH different reasons; and pretty sad (and annoying!), if I may be so blunt.

It's most likely that these complete strangers, the concierge at hotels/casinos, bouncers, waiters and waitresses, whatever, are kissing your warm, flat tuchis either out of a) fear of legal repercussions (no, thank YOU Justin Dart; my personal hero, b) pity, or c) religious duty. Whatever their reasoning, don't be fooled. They're not, "oohing and aahing," over you like they would if they had ran into say, Adrien Brody or Keira Knightly.

Heck, if you're visiting a small town and get stares, it's probably likely you're getting the once-over because they've never seen a person out in public in a wheelchair before (apparently these rumors are true, although being from a big city like Minneapolis, I have yet to encounter such shock first-hand; Thank God).

So, the next time you head to your local Starbuck's and get the usual stares (or for the intellectual city-dwellers: Those "secret" glances hidden by quickly diverted eyes. Yes, I'm talking about you. I see you), and then even get asked on multiple occasions, "Are you sure you don't need anything else?' or maybe you just get a free coffee out of the deal, do not under any circumstance think you're getting treated like a celeb 'cause you are one in a weird, novelty-esque, convuluted, sort-of-way.

You may be interesting and new, and a fascinating customer who breaks up the monotony of their day, but remember, you are disabled. You may feel like a "celebrity" at times, and you might even (God forbid), get your photo secretly taken by some messed-up devotee hiding in a nearby bush, but the life of being disabled is unfortunately, nothing like celeb-dom (I would assume at least. I do not know this first hand. ha).

But hey, they might be a good thing.

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staceymilbern wrote on Sep 18, 2007 at 6:01 PM
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This title definitely caught my attention :)
Tiffiny wrote on Sep 18, 2007 at 9:01 PM
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hey stacey,

i aim to please! ;)

- tiff
Attila the Mom wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 9:49 AM
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Hahahaha! Love the snark! ;-)
orangemango wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 11:31 AM
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Haha! Cool first post, you have a great sense of humor.
Tiffiny wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 11:52 AM
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attila,

thx! and i love your name! :D

- tiff
Tiffiny wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 11:53 AM
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orange,

many thanks! humor keeps me sane ;)

- tiff
BurnThisCube wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 5:38 PM
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Tiffiny,

You've put a big smile on my face. Thanks for the funny and oh-so-true post. Pseudo celebs; and instead of Warhol's 15 minutes of fame, we can count on this treatment our whole lives (or at least 'till cripples in public become too common, how passé).

While I do relish the Disney and pre-boarding special treatment (how Paris H.), I suspect the real reason is to get this encuberance out of the way (please, we can't have people tripping over those footrests).

My disability is invisible, and I merely ride on the coat-tails (or wheelie bars)of my wife's Permobile. Perhaps I could fly solo if I made my anxiety disorder/social phobia more obvious. Some nervous tics, verbal outbusts (STOP JUDGING ME), or other outré behavior and I'd be in like Flint. Or just a med-alert bracelet stating: A human time bomb waiting to explode-please extend all curtesies and get him away from others. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Bruce

community.disaboom.com/.../DISALIFE
Tiffiny wrote on Sep 19, 2007 at 10:21 PM
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bruce,

thx for the comment, and glad to see im not the only person w/ a disability who sees the humor in being treated like a faux-celeb. good times ;) and bring it on! im all about free stuff :)

- tiff
BurnThisCube wrote on Sep 21, 2007 at 11:41 PM
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Ya, Tiff, I'll mention the perks of disability in conversation and can see it in their eyes, if they get it or not. Hey personal parking and this Monday my wife 'n I 'n kids will have our own (and the only) roped off floor space, front center for Bjork at MSG. We will just have to learn to accept the good will and charity of others gracefully, lol.

Bruce
Jayghan wrote on Sep 24, 2007 at 8:42 PM
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OMG. I totally got into the zoo for free a couple weeks ago. And I always get free hospital parking. Sweet!

I love your blog! ;*)

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