Cats and Wheelchairs: The Unexplained Mystery

If you happen to be the lucky owner of a feline companion and also find yourself a wheelchair-user, you might have discovered the same bizarre occurence that I have during my many chair-using years: Cats want your wheelchair.

I think it's because that cats are, without a doubt (next to the sloth of course. No animal can beat the sloth), the laziest animal on the planet. And if you don't believe me, go down to your friendly neighborhood cat shelter and pick one up. Not only will you be doing a service to society (score!), you'll also be endlessly amused at how a cats seem to hone in on your chair; the most expensive seat in the house.

Take my one year old cat "Pixie Stick" for example. Every night after transferring into bed, she takes the first second it's without "The Tiff," and jumps right onto it; hanging on it in all wacky poses and perches, much like a monkey in a tree. Or trying to show-off like Nadia Comaneci. She thinks it's hers, or at the very least, she thinks she'll be able to steal it from me while I sleep. Lucky for me, the chair by itself weighs exactly 307 lbs (thanks to the two incredibly heavy car batteries that power the thing). I don't care what kind of cat food I feed her, there's no way on God's green earth she'll be able to even budge the thing. Ha. Dumb cat.

In all seriousness though, I love having her in my life. She is by far the most hyper cat I've had, allowing her to easily win Gold in the category, "Hardest Cat to Control." I mean, she isn't named after a pure-sugar candy for nothing. Just look at her in the picture above. She looks like she just got the best high ever on some high-grade opium, after settling her bony butt on my backrest.

But she's only allowed to sit up there for so long. All the seating I have is custom and cost thousands of dollars to make, so having long grey and white cat fur all over it evey morning isn't something I appreciate.

I do however have a huge supply of lint rollers on hand to erase any trace of her lounging. I swear, I have at least six rollers right now in my bedroom dresser, waiting to be used. And oh yes, they WILL be used.