Posted: 1/16/2008 at 05:51 PM
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Today while I in the shower (listening to my new shower radio/CD player at the same time....lovin' it. w00t!), I was looking down at my quad hands: The curled fingers, the pasty white skin, the too short nails. Definitely not attractive you know. And then I came across the next most noticeable feature on my hands: The scars. On my left hand alone there are 3 giant white scars, all due to injuries because the burn was not felt thanks the numbness on the far side of each of my hands.
You see, if you took a Magic Marker a la Dr. Rey and drew a line down the dead center of it in a vertical fashion, you'd see that half of my hand (the middle, ring, pinky finger half) is completely numb. It's like that because I damaged my spinal cord in the lower part of my neck; the area of the spinal cord that was created to specifically move your hands. So if you damage it there, you're guaranteed to come out of the hospital with reaaally weird hands. Joy of joys....and btw, the docs can't fix it.
So back to my scars, which there are many. It almost seems they are a prerequisite before you can really say "you've lived the quadriplegia life" truthfully. My scars are as follows: 3" round scar on the top of my left hand from hot coffee, bought during a college night class back in 2000, a 1" round scar near the previously mentioned scar, from hot steam escaping from a plastic dish in the microwave, a 1/4" round scar on the side of my left hand, which accidentally rested on a hot pan while pan-frying some chicken, a perfectly round cigarette ash scar on my upper left thigh (didn't feel the ash fall while in a dark club. It burnt through my pants), and two, horrid 3" round scars on my left hip bone, due to placing a hot blow dryer on my lap while naked (didn't know it was hot) either.
Actually, ALL of my scars were caused by the "couldn't feel it" reasoning. When you can't feel, be really, really careful. Burns are the first thing that'll happen to ya if you're not completely aware of what's going on around you. Scars are not always sexy. Take it from me.
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Vigilance sucks. But it's all that keeps us alive. I've got the scars too Tiff. Both of my ankles cooked by space heaters....i Know..stupid. And three lines across my right for arm from the side of a chili pot..."That's not the chili I smell cookin!"
I have a close friend who's growing tired of the need for vigilance. I'm a little worried about him.
For quad, it's the difference between living fully or dying slowly. I kinda dig the living thing. I get the feeling you do to.
Stay alert, stay healthy, stay strong.
And you know, you'd really have to scar up a lot more to loose the "sexy".
Why is it that scars are sexy on a man but not on a woman? This is the 21st century, after all!
rehab, thx babe :) that's really sad about your friend though. try to remind him/her about the good things tha are still worth living for....
veri, yeah it's a cruel double standard. not fair!
I'm working on it Tiff. He works hard and has a full life but, lives alone. He's tired of having to worry about butt sores, bladder infections and you know the rest. It all takes a lot of energy.
He did a lot better when he was getting some lovin' now and then. I think I need to get him out of the tractor and into town. For some reason the chicks do dig him. A little attention couldn't hurt.
Stay well
thas a really good idea, rehab. get on it!
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