The "Wheelchair Girl" Rides Again

Within the past week, give or take, I've found myself blissfully single. I'm no longer trying to make someone happy, trying to make someone like me, or even worse, love me. I was doing that, unsuccessfully, for months, but I'm what you'd call a determined beeotoch. I hate seeing a relationship, or anything for that matter, fail.

But life isn't like that. In reality, things can't always work out. Life is a series of successes and failures, of lessons to be learned. "Relationships are always a risk," they say. And they're right, you risk your emotional stability, your happiness. When you allow yourself to fall in love with someone, you put your heart out on the buffet table of luuuurve - exposed - waiting (or rather hoping) the right person will scoop you up onto his plate. And people, the chances of that happening are usually NOT in your favor.

I have a tendency to always choose the wrong guy in the buffet line. I get blinded by nice words, compliments, good looks, professional success, and always think of what's the best for me, "what's REALLY going on here," too last minute. I want a husband so badly, that coveted domestic bliss that most humans crave, but it eludes me. I'm pretty sure, because of the occurence of my disability, that God has other plans in store for the Tiffster. If I had got married at 22 and started breeding, I never would've become the prolific dating and disabilities writer/columnist that I've become, giving help and helping hundreds (maybe thousands) of other disabled folks who out there in the same boat as me.

I was born with a optimistic disposition, which for a C6 quad is a very fortunate genetic quality. I was down, but not clinically depressed, for about 3 years after my injury. I was mainly sad and angry because I thought a "normal" life wasn't possible anymore. But once I realized that women in wheelchairs can still be percieved as sexy, get married, become mothers, drive cars (OMG!), and have cool jobs, my disposition/outlook on my future instantly changed. I could still do a lot of great stuff, and that was worth living for.

Since that "lightbulb going off" moment, I've dated and bedded men, discovered my sexuality, empowered myself and hopefully, changed the way some AB people views women in chairs. We may end up being your future daughter-in-law one day, peoples! Since a cure for SCI hasn't occured yet, and women become paralyzed every year, we are a growing and determined minority.

We want our cake and we want to eat it too. The search for the right guy is obviously MUCH trickier, but it's not an impossible endeavor. I refuse to give up.