Posted: 5/24/2008 at 05:25 PM
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So tomorrow morning I'm officially becoming a God Mother for the very first time in my life (to my brother's baby daughter Lily Victoria). It's a big thing to me. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be given such a title...and if I never have kids, hey, this is the closest I'll ever get. So I want to do this not only right way, but the best way possible. I'm a perfectionist with a mild case of OCD (and with high anxiety), so needless to say performing this task, being a decent God Mother, has been on my mind a lot lately.
Are you a God Parent and if so, what do you consider your responsibilities?
My brother chose my younger sister last year to be the God Mother of their first daughter, Audrey; which honestly, I found both odd and insulting. As the oldest daughter, shouldn't I have been the first choice as God Mother to their first child? I dunno. I sometimes think my disability, my limitations rather, played a part in their decision making process. Maybe,m since I'm a quad, and one of the vital roles of being a God Parent is being their parent in case both of them die, was why they chose my sister. But if that's true, then them choosing me this year doesn't make any sense I guess.
But anyways. No more negativity. As a God Mother, I'm required to buy them gifts on all the holidays and of course on their birthday, give them support, be a good listener, that kind of thing...as they get older. But what else is there? Am I missing anything?
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Traditionally, the godparents were counted informally responsible for ensuring that the child's religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should he/she be orphaned. Today, the word godparent may not have explicitly religious overtones. The (particularly) modern definition of a godparent is “an individual chosen by the parents to take a vested interest in raising a more complete human being.” However, godparent is not a legal position, and should the parents seriously intend the godparents to act as foster parents in case of their death, this must be legally specified through the usual means (such as a will). I believe you should discuss with your brother and sister-in-law what they see your role to be. As a God Mother, I myself am involved in the religious life of the children, following the parents' belief system but reinforcing it with my own spiritual support and availability for questions and issues. I am also available for crisis reaction (support during, such as car accidents, family deaths, other crises like 'drugs' [heaven forbid!], etc.); some cultural education (by choice, as a fun thing); and generally trying to enrich the lives of the children entrusted to my "care" in this way. I would not be concerned as to why you were not chosen "first." They may not have wanted to "burden" you, but now see that you are well able to handle whatever the needs are that they see in the future. I think that really is the key here--to find out how they themselves view the role, so you are all comfortable and you can have the joys that come with this responsibility. Good luck and enjoy. Bonnie
bonnie, that was an awesome comment with a lot of helpful advice. ty ty!
As the Godparent of an 11 yr old, I have always tried to be as involved in her life as possible. When she was little we played barbies. After I got hurt we played spaceship on my wheelchair-buzzing to different planets in space. The most important thing Tiff-I think, Is to stay involved in their lives. Congratulations!!
good advice, vin. thx!
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