Posted: 6/18/2008 at 05:19 PM
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While I've been single as of late, I've met some guys of course - some winners, some losers - but it seems more than ever before that the men I've been meeting are intrinsically hard/impossible to read. One moment they seem all ga-ga over you and are giving you moon eyes over drinks (maybe that's the problem: booze), and the next moment they don't return your calls or emails, and well essentially, stop liking you. I just don't get it.
I know, I know....men about complain the exact same thing with us too. We too are guilty as charged. I guess the gender doesn't really play a role as to "which sex" is worse for being hard to read: Men or women. We're all the same. It's natural for interest to grow, then to wane, but it's hard - as a woman with a disability - to not think your disability is to blame. "Maybe my wheelchair scared them off?" you think. And even after 10+ of dating, I still can't figure out how much influence my disability has over interest coming and going. Am I just being paranoid....or is the disability really a hindrance?
I just wish more guys I met were honest with me; even if it's brutal and might really hurt my feelings. I'd rather know than not know, you know? In my opinion, there's nothing worse than being lied to. Recently, I met an awesomely open, truthful man who just "put it all out there" if you will: "I just want to sleep with pretty woman. That's it. No commitment. I'm a Lone Wolf," he confessed. And as harsh as it sounded and as sad it made me, I loved and respected him for telling me the truth.
Now the hard part for me of course is finding the "Anti-Lone Wolf." Wish me luck ;)
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A woman who I have dated expressed the thought that she didn't "see my chair". So if the person you are dating is honest withthemseves and you it's not an isuue. If it is then it's time to move on.
I think you hit the nail on the head with your observation that running hot and cold isn't reserved for just one side of the spieces. We are but human.
I recently had a date with someone who even tho we clicked online and on the phone, our date was a disaster! She was honest with me about her feelings and I have the utmost respect for her.
So the trick is to continue to beleive in yourself and keep on fishin' You will do well I'm sure
thx willie for the comment. glad to hear other people's experiences :)
Good luck Tiff! I'm in the dating scene again and love the response I get a lot of on the dating websites -- I don't feel any chemistry. Come on! We haven't even met or talked on the phone. Get real and admit you don't want to date a woman with a disability. That I can respect at least.
I sure do not miss the dating thing. It is puzzling just trying to read men, then you throw being in a wheelchair in it. I’ve dated guys, where a few weeks of dating goes by and then they decide they are not comfortable with it. I’ve also met a guy or two at a party/bar and you talk most of the night, things are going good, then they spring it on ya “are you ever gonna walk” Oh I have so many “I can’t believe that guy said that to me moments”
My husband, when we first started dating was admittedly unsure what to expect and didn’t know how comfortable he was with me being in a wheelchair. As he described it my personality, chemistry and everything he liked about me far outweighed what his insecurities with dating someone in a wheelchair might be. The chair went away.
Good luck to you
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