Vicki

Member since: 9/21/2007

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Are You Living Your Plan?

5/9/2008 at 06:07 PM

The roads we take are more important than the goals we announce.

Decisions determine destiny. ~ Frederick Speakman

Remember when you were a kid and adults would ask "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Now that you are an adult, are you doing it?

I wondered how many people could answer positively, so I decided to ask. First, I went to Yahoo! Answers and submitted this question:

"Are you doing what you thought you would be doing?
Whether it was a childhood dream, formal training, a college major, or just an idea, many people find themselves doing something entirely different. Are you working in the job you pictured for yourself?

Is it what you expected? Do you regret it?"

One answer is selected as the best one, awarding points to the respondent.

Eleven people chose to answer. Most seemed to be very young, and some answered very negatively, sometimes very sad -

"life changes when you get older"
"I've realized that things never, ever, go as planned"
"unfortunately i have set aside my dreams and goals"

Some still have hope -

"it its a path i choose (hopefully its temporally..."
"I consider this as a stepping stone to reach my ultimate dream job..."

And others may not be following a childhood dream, but "what I am doing is sooo much better"

The best answerer wanted to be a novelist. She is currently studying to be an orchestra composer or physics professor. She says, "Either way I get to write, essentially. =)"

Then I went to Ask500People. There is limited space for the question, and the answer was a choice between yes and no. Here is the question I submitted:

"Are you doing what you thought you would be doing - whether it was a childhood dream, college major, just an idea?"

Here, members vote on the questions to be formally asked. My question was chosen and offered to the world. In just a few minutes, 346 people from 40 countries selected an answer and 11 chose to leave comments. Of those, 44%, 155 people, said yes, but that means 56% said they were not doing what they once expected to do. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

One fellow thought about his childhood and said, "I wanted to be a cowboy -- never made it." How sweet! I knew several people who wanted to be a cowboy or rancher and never quite made it.

Other commenters gave ideas about their lives. Sillynilly wrote something about being a "sex toy sales rep," not being expected, but she was content. A career soldier (23 years) said "I always wanted to be a soldier." Then there were those who said "totally beyond my comprehension" and "inadvertently came back to doing the things I love best..."

It would be an ambitious, but interesting task to learn when the goal changed for the better or became derailed, and why. Only one respondent gave a reason: "I didnt expect to get pregnant at 16." Pregnancy, marriage, economics, education or lack of it, all probably changed people's life plans. Some people accidentally fell into a dream job or followed their plan into something entirely unexpected, but wonderful.

One of the respondents asked about me. "What about you? Are you doing what you thought you would be doing?"

My answer is a simple, "No." I changed directions more than once. I wanted to be a rancher, a writer, an artist, an actor, and a dancer. None of these excluded the others. But, then life happened.

First, I never planned to be a single mother, but when I was, I put my personal goals on hold -- they were not abandoned, just on hold. My new priority was to raise the kids to the point of self-sufficiency. They were almost there when the next roadblock came along. I never planned to have multiple sclerosis. Once again, my priorities changed. One of my question respondents said, "Everything happens for a good reason." Maybe so. I always wanted to write, and now I write, but the topic is not what I thought it would be. I write about living with MS and surviving disability.

What about you?

Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them.But the men who, like the sailors on the ocean, take them for guides,will undoubtedly reach their goal. ~ Carl Schurz

Filed under: Vicki's MS Path, disaboom, ms, job, Vicki, life plan, goals

Comments

On May 9, 2008 Liesl said:

Oooooooh, good question! My answer is clear as mud: yes and no. I wanted to be president of the United States when I was a kid because I have always wanted to influence the world and make it better. I'm not president, obviously, but I am positively enforcing and effecting change in hundreds of people a year.

I first majored in music to become an opera conductor. I no longer play and instrument or conduct an orchestra, I do teach aesthetics and the idea that beauty, the thing I wanted to be a part of and in, is something we all must pursue, be and choose.

I came to teaching by accident, but it turned out that I was always meant to be here. While I am not doing the specific jobs I thought I wanted, I am doing the work I always wanted to do.
On May 10, 2008 grjenkin said:

When I ask my grandkids what they want to be, they usually say, "I don't know."

That's not a bad thing. With a good attitude and a few basic skills they can exceed anything they might dream up at the time. I did.
On May 10, 2008 Debbie said:

hi there vicki, i sure did miss you! happy mothers day.

well for me somewhere down the line i realised it is not my goals that i am concerned about but happiness. i am content with my life while working on new goals. xoxo :)
On May 16, 2008 Vicki said:

Now liesl, you sound as if you have given up on becoming president. There is still plenty of time if that’s still in the back of your mind. Age doesn’t seem to be a factor. It has been a long time since we had a president with a disability and it seems to me to be a great job for a teacher – especially a woman with a soul for beauty. If you ever decide to go that route again, I volunteer to manage your campaign!

Grjenkin, you would be a good one to guide those kids when their dreams do come out.

And Debbie. I have been missing you, too. Thank you, Mothers Day was very nice. Dreams and goals change and grow and veer off in other directions for most of us. They are just the means and happiness, the desired end. There is a lot to be said for contentment, too, which is a relaxed form of happy.
On May 24, 2008 bonniethesurvivor said:

My dream as a child was to be a lawyer. Then I discovered that my first love, dance, was a real professional possibility. Then I became too disabled to dance (after dancing professionally), and did something completely unexpected--marketing, using skills I had developed while serving as artistic director of my dance company! Then, in marketing, I discovered how unethical it seemed, and I turned to ministry, something I NEVER would have expected! When I was young I did not want to get married because I wanted a career and did not want to get "trapped." I have now been married for 25 happy years. So I have now discovered that, for me, there is simply no telling where life will take me and what will happen next.