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The two most predictable things about acquiring a personal aide are that (unless you are very lucky) it will typically take several tries and that it will have to be repeated from time to time. Getting the right one and keeping the right one are two separate and distinct tasks that require a combination of experience and knowledge. Both are worth doing right. The following ten tips are offered in hope that they will lead you to consider every angle as you set out to find that perfect helper.

1.  Try agencies first if you can.
If you need a personal aide and a freelance aide has been referred by a mutual friend, by all means, look into it. There is nothing wrong with this; word of mouth is often a reliable reference. It is not infallible, however. There is no accounting for personality conflicts; everyone knows two people they love but who, for some reason, repel each other. Agencies, although not infallible either, typically screen their aides using criminal background checks, drug tests, and abuse clearances. They train their professional aides and can, therefore, claim their employees will be familiar with certain procedures, rules, and conventions. But read their claims thoroughly before assuming what they ensure.

2.  References are a must.
Unfortunately, some aides may not be honest about their qualifications or may unwittingly couch their reservations in ambiguous terms. Speaking to former employers may reveal important aspects of an aide’s character or limitations that you need to consider.

Always ask about the extent of an aide’s training, especially in the area of safety procedures. If resuscitation is an issue, or if you may need rapid medical intervention, your aide will have to become familiar with the circumstances and the fix while waiting for professional help. If your aide is petrified of mice or of smoke, it would be well for you to know about it before it becomes an issue.

3.  Write a care plan.
Write up a list of services to be provided to you with as many details as practical to accurately explain what you require. Normal services include such work as bathing and dressing assistance, bedding, meal preparation, medication reminders, light housekeeping, errands and shopping. Not only will the care plan serve as a record, it will save time by eliminating those aides who “don’t do windows,”—that is, those who may have no stomach for assisting in personal hygiene or other procedures you require. Go over it carefully when training a new aide.

4.  Re-train your aide.
Despite any prior experience, your new aide will need to be taught your likes and dislikes, preferences, and needs. Having provided for someone else does not necessarily prepare an aide to serve you the way you need to be served. In addition to daily tasks, if you are aware of any symptoms that an aide needs to recognize, explain and describe them in detail and give specific instructions as to what action the aide should take should those symptoms occur.

5.  Make a list of important contacts.
It should contain names, phone numbers, and addresses of doctors, emergency numbers, relatives, and other aides. Explain to the aide how he or she is to handle specific telephone calls, specific individuals, and specific visitors. If you deem it appropriate, tell the aide where you keep your living will, that is, a document giving directives in case you should become incapacitated.

6.  Stay flexible.
The ability to bend will serve you well, as a client often has to make concessions too. You will have to meet your aide halfway when a situation demands it. Remember they have a life too and that it does not part its waters for them just because they have agreed to a contract. They will have their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. Learn to draw a line at the point at which your needs are met, and be prepared to be content with only that if the aide who is usually ready and willing to offer extra time cannot do so on a particular day.

7.  Remove Temptation.
Unfortunately, aides are human beings and not all human beings can resist the urge to commit thievery. As with any person one does not know, care should be taken to remove temptation, regardless of the aide’s background or provenance. If you are residing in a facility, ask if the management can provide space in their vault for your valuables, or if they can indicate where secure storage is available. This can prevent not only personal loss but a great deal of disappointment and conflict within your family.

8.  Don’t sign anything.
The most innocent-sounding arrangement or proposition may leave you penniless, or without your possessions or your home. Get advice from someone you already know or a lawyer if no one else is available to you, before signing your name, or even before agreeing to something you have doubts about. An oral contract may be just as binding as one on paper. If you’re uncertain about something that has been proposed, you can always buy time by saying you don’t understand completely or you need more time to think about it.

9.  Plan your medications.
If your aide is going to assist you in taking your medications at the right time and in the right amount, you need to train him or her. If the medications are such that might be desirable by others, for example pain killers, sedatives, etc., it is important in order to protect both client and aide that an accurate sorting and count be maintained. This should be carried out by both parties together, so as to prevent any mistakes or unjust accusations. A daily checklist may be useful.

10.  Do not expect untrained or uncertified aides to provide medical procedures.
Aides can be taught non-medical procedures but should not be asked to learn tasks such as sterile technique procedures, IV techniques, urinary catheter needs, or wound care. These should be carried out by a visiting nurse or aides that are either medically qualified or have been specially trained for the procedures required. Short of certification, people are not always honest or accurate about their qualifications, and so the client must always take care in assessing an aide’s ability to perform what they’re asked to do.