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The tips given below have been culled from many; they are geared to those issues that are a) most common regardless of the type of care provided and b) taken for granted but need to be specifically recognized.

Others may be more obvious, such as avoid subjects such as politics that can torpedo any otherwise healthy and desirable relationship; do not lend each other money; avoid discussions on religion. It is not a good idea to expect either one of you to contribute to the other’s spiritual needs or to agree with someone else’s religious views. Any of these may lead to a quick and unfortunate end to a good partnership. 

1.  Know who you are.
To be a personal aide, you should be someone who is naturally good with people. If you are not, even if people say you are, consider other employment! There are few things worse to a client than an aide who goes about his or her duties while displaying aloofness, or worse, a silent resentment.

2.  Don’t rush.
In the beginning of the process of getting to know each other, your client may erect defenses that will later come down as the level of apprehension lessens. But pushing the client to do that will invariably work against it. Let the client bring trust to you; don’t reach for it on your own. Start out light as a feather. Don’t take over. Even if that’s what you’re doing, in essence, try not to give the impression you are. A gentle, firm manner will go a long way in your favor.

3.  Listen.
This will hopefully be one of your personal talents. Few things are more important in establishing effective and accurate communication with someone who will have expectations of you. The client’s tone is often just as revealing as the words; tension and fear or appreciation and pleasure produce their own vocal frequencies.

As fascinating as talking about yourself may seem to you, it can hamstring free communication. Refrain from pouring out your life’s story at the first meeting just because the client has asked you to speak a bit about yourself. Do not pour out your troubles, either, no matter how tempted you may be; your clients have enough of their own. If you do speak about yourself, make an attempt to share only good and positive things. Remember you are building something and the better the foundation, the better the structure.

4.  Respect boundaries.
As an aide you may expect that touching a client physically and privately will require a gradual personal process. However, this may have to start right away. If so, make sure your touch is always deliberate, purposeful, and to the point, never languid or haphazard. Also know that when working with clients that have mental health issues, or simply a high stress level, entering into their space too abruptly or without permission can be just as invasive. If lines are crossed too quickly, a client may turn nasty without warning. If possible, start the personal care of your client with non-intimate things, such as brushing hair, to accustom them to your touch.

5.  Safety first.
Clients are in their own homes and have a right to keep whatever they want. However, some may have fallen into the habit of taking that right a bit too far. An aide should address and seek to remedy a situation in which piles of belongings, including furniture, knick knacks, appliances and yard sale treasures, and newspaper and/or magazines have piled up to such a degree that navigation through the house has become difficult. That is more common than you might imagine and constitutes a genuine fire safety hazard. Such a problem and any others you may notice should be addressed right away.

The importance of escaping in case of fire from all possible locations cannot be overemphasized. Carry out actual fire drills from every location in which the client is likely to find himself (upstairs and downstairs, bathroom, etc.).

6.  Be receptive.
Take into account that a changing situation is stressful, and trying to find a new aide typically adds to the strain of having to ask for help. Any help you can provide in making it easy for the client to express his or her needs will go a long way toward making a good first impression and in smoothing the way to a fruitful collaboration. If you are asked to do something in a way that is different from how you usually do it, make an honest effort to try it the client’s way first. He may be reticent about disclosing the full scope of his needs right away.

7.  Communicate with the family.
Aides can be helpful in bringing a new perspective to a situation that has developed in a negative way. For example: a family has heard good things about physical therapy and therefore gets it prescribed by a doctor for their aging mother. However, it is evident to you that it is a hardship upon, not a boon to, the 93-year-old client, and is bringing more pain than benefit. This in turn requires more pain medication, which results in less activity than is healthy for the client. You are in a position to make some significant suggestions to the family.

8.  Be flexible.
This is a valuable asset. If work is scheduled to begin at 8 a.m. but that day the client requests to sleep later, a resourceful aide will find something to do in the home so that  no working hours are lost and the client will not be obliged to pay for unused time. Also, one aide may be chosen over another if he or she can offer extra time for activities other than direct personal care.

9.  Be very careful about money. 
Treat this issue as though your reputation depended upon it, because it does. As with possessions, a client may have to trust you with money for errands, and anyone can forget how much was given and inadvertently return the wrong amount of change. A notebook in which you write down how much you received and how much you returned each time you are sent out to shop will serve both parties. The habit of always obtaining and submitting receipts protects both you and the client against innocent memory lapses. Be very careful about accepting gifts, especially if the client has a disability that in any way affects his or her judgment. This is an issue that has many ways of returning to bite you.

10.  Maintain a sense of the business at hand.
A positive and benign attitude is the most precious commodity the client seeks from the very start. It is central to the success of your relationship. Patience and respect may be difficult to provide or to maintain at all times, but try your hardest, because they are the keys to success.

Relationships are, by nature, unpredictable. A defined relationship may be simpler to maintain if you keep its definition in mind. Being straightforward about your business arrangement is a valuable tool in preventing misunderstandings. Familiarity is a pleasant thing but may end up exacting a toll from your business arrangement, and you may easily overreach the original basis of your contract. Avoid disappointment. It’s up to you to keep an even keel.