The thing about boundaries is that everybody has them, and they’re usually unspoken. Often times you don’t even know consciously that you have these so-called “boundaries;” but you do. We all do.
It’s important to know when entering a new relationship that these boundaries exist in EVERYONE. And they can greatly affect how successful your relationship is/or will be.
Let’s first discuss what “boundaries” are. To sum up, they’re generally unspoken limits, things/extenuating circumstances to be exact, that the person is willing to handle/expect from a partner. For a lot of people, lying or cheating goes beyond their boundary lines; for other people it may be as common (unfortunate as this is) as something like verbal abuse. Obesity is another common “over the boundary line” issue that some people just can’t handle, no matter how much they may love that person struggling with obesity.
The concept of boundaries in a relationship is really a fascinating subject—let your mind wander for a moment. What are your boundaries? You DO have them; whether you are aware of them or not.
And what your boundaries are, without a doubt, will deeply affect your future romantic relationship(s).
The smartest thing you can do, for starters, in order to have success in any future relationship that you may find yourself in, is to assess what your definitive boundaries are. Once you have become aware of them (for many, this is a huge first step), you’ll begin picking the right partner that will “mesh” well with what you can/can’t handle: your boundaries.
Tips on managing your boundaries in relationships:1. Be open and honest with your partner about what your boundaries are. Without complete and open (and beautiful I might add) honesty, there’s no chance on God’s green earth that your relationship will ever be strong and long-lasting.
2. Don’t be ashamed of what your boundaries are. For some people it may seem like over-the-top petty jealousy (like requiring a phone call from them at least once a day). But if that’s what you need to be happy, then that’s what you need to be happy. Don’t feel sorry for having boundaries that other people might find extreme.
3. Don’t be afraid to share your boundaries when the time is right to do so. Opening up to someone you don’t yet know very well can be a difficult task and one that makes you feel vulnerable. But you must do it when you feel the relationship might become serious. No excuses, my friends.
4. The next thing you must do, after you’ve shared your boundaries with your partner, is to ask him/her to “openly and honestly” tell you if he or she is comfortable with them. Don’t bother wasting your time with someone who feels unable to accept your boundaries, or isn’t interested in working with you on them to make sure you can be happy.
Because you see—above all—you want someone in your life who wants to make sure you’re happy.
Selflessness; that’s the pure, utter definition of love. By recognizing the importance of this issue, people who love each other will do everything in their power to acknowledge and respect their partner’s boundaries.
So please, discover what your boundaries are and integrate them into your relationships. Good things are guaranteed to follow.
Read more:For more information on maintaining a balanced relationship, see Ten Signs of a Healthy Relationship.
To read about one woman's concerns over her new disability and her relationship, see My Partner is Scared to Try.
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