Dating & Relationships - All Comments

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

RutheeSch — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:35:12 GMT

i have been led to believe that people with disabilities should only date people who are "damaged". Nobody is trying to introduce me to anyone since I became disabled three years ago. It's very hard to stay positive about meeting a life partner after something like this happens. I have decided to try and stop thinking about it. If it happens, great, if not..it's Gd's will, which is also Ok.

Re: Have a New Partner? The Best Ways to Disclose Embarrassing Things

RutheeSch — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:27:17 GMT

thank u so much for your advice. I have been disabled for 3 years now. I have not dated anyone yet because I am afraid to have a person look at my body and see the supra pubic tube and the baclofen pump which is implanted intomy lfet side. I don't feel sexy at all anymore, especiallyl when the catheter leaks or I have a bowel movement on the bed. (I lay on pads for that purpose. I can't imagine how anyone would every want to be with me again. It has been a big blow to my self image. My life is very blessed in all other ways. But I have decided to stop looking. I just can't understand that a person wouldn't mind!

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

Anonymous — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 14:41:52 GMT

Live in central lower michigan looking for information on how to find that special person in my area. Support groups/social groups, etc.?

Re: Online Dating: When (and How) to Disclose Your Disability

Anonymous — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:48:13 GMT

I've been on the online dating scene and have chosen both approaches. I now withhold the fact I have 1 Hand and see if I even like them. In my experience if you display the diability there are those who seek you out to take advantage of you and label you as easy. I've had luck in waiting until the right time to disclose my disability, however mine may be easier to acclimate to, hope this helps

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:26:04 GMT

my son is a handsome 21 yo with a good heart,holds a good job,drives a nice car,has disability LD,mild aspergers,mild bipolar,no drugs,nonsmoking,only wants to go out to dinner or a movie with a young lady but cant find a date. girls hear his voice which is a little loud in tone and walk away,he is lonely and heart broken and so am i live in conneticut near bridgeport

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

gedmstar — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 03:37:39 GMT

so how do you even go about finding a date let alone an open minded able bodied guy when you can't enjoy outings, or even have days with little or no pain to be good company????

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:39:50 GMT

So where do you find all of these wonderful AB men with open minds?? I find that once I tell someone I'm a wheelchair user they literally slam the door in my face.

Re: Have a Disability? Don’t Think You Can Only Date a Certain Type

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:37:37 GMT

So where do you find all of these wonderful AB men with open minds?? I find that once I tell someone I'm a wheelchair user they literally slam the door in my face.

re: Dating and Disabled: My Life as a Love Columnist

Candygrrl80 — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:19:34 GMT

I'm 27 and I have CP. I have never dated and I'm starting to wonder if I should even bother. I have always felt that my disability was something to be ashamed of(of course, the weight doesn't help). I'm great chatter but I always ended up as a "friend"--and nothing else. Any suggestions to get me dating and out of perpetual "friend" mode?

Thanks for the help!

re: Resources for People with Disabilities in an Abusive Relationship

Lily265 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:47:47 GMT

Thank you for sharing these resources. I know a lady who is trying to get her friend out an abusive situation, so I sent her a link to this article. Her friend, who is in a wheelchair, is being abused by a family member. It's horrible to think that a person's own flesh and blood could do something like that, but it happens. Thanks again for the timely article!

re: Online Dating 101: Top 10 Tips for Successful Online Dating

wheelinwillie — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:52:00 GMT

Great Article for us Newbies =)

Mr. Bill

re: How to Be a Confident Date

karen30s — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 05:19:25 GMT

I agree confidence is important to people with disabilities but a word of caution if it is not innate you could become discouraged.

As a woman with a disability I learned the importance of becoming confident in pursuing my goals.

On dates it is essential to relax and enjoy rather then focus on appearing confident. People are able to sense your uncertainty and even though they may not understand its source they become aware that you are out of sync. The date then is at risk.

To avoid unneccesary date woes learn to relax, listen, be friendly and all these assist in building confidence for life not only for dates.

re: Can I Be With an Able-Bodied Partner?

Oncodiva — Wed, 07 May 2008 05:07:44 GMT

I gotta say I'm glad to see this posting. I am in a very awkward place and don't know exactly how to approach dating again. I've been fighting Breast Cancer for 8 years. Its been everywhere...lung, liver, spine, nodes. But never has it been in my breasts again. I look perfectly "Able Bodied". In fact I model occasionally. And I do what I can to keep off the spare tire. I'm 41 and look 30. There is no shortage of men. BUT most of my outings are to the hospital, as I am on permanent chemo. I left a marriage of 10 years in the middle of all this because I'm not willing to settle. Yet there does seem to be some predisposition of friends, relatives and suitors (once they get to know my situation) who seem to think I'm lucky to have anyone to date at all, much less be choosy. I have someone who says he loves me, takes me to treatment. He cares and shows it. It helps to have it. Yet the chemistry is lacking. I'd say it might be the treatments, except that I can see a striking man and find myself very attracted in that "special" way. I even run a website to help women embrace their sensuality throughout chronic illness. Some men find my confidence a little threatening. Its not that I don't feel good about myself. But I do live in the world and have to live with the perceptions of others. I have had men say that they started to care and the fear of losing me keeps them from wanting to get more involved. (I trust this is the real reason and not that I don't look like my photographs and what not.) I can understand that to a point. Yet anyone could lose their partner tomorrow in a car accident. So its really a percieved loss. Of course mose "able bodied" people who haven't had an illness/accident rarely face that truth. I am on disability. I don't work so it is hard to meet people. The doctors seem to think I have about 5 years. But I had that 8 years ago. Dating in general is becoming completely confusing to me. Do I tell someone? When do I tell them? What do I tell them. I'm usually blunt, humorous and up front. I always believed in honest open communication. And maybe I want too much. But I feel I am being punished for something beyond my control and I know we can all relate to that. I don't know that I am looking for someone to answer this or solve my problems. I suppose input would be nice. And it seems like the best place to mention it. I wonder if others are also facing the same?

re: Having “The Talk”

crov41 — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:23:27 GMT

if they really say they love and want you dont worry about your disability just smile kid

re: Having “The Talk”

aries — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:42:48 GMT

hello Ive been A relationship for ten years. The sex life was really good but back in 2005 I was hit from behind from A cement truck and now I am in A wheel chair the sex life slowed down but once I talked to my spouse about my sex drive has not changed he didnt take action right at that time but now he knows he wont hurt me or anything it starting to pick back up and to me it may be a little bit more better to me.