• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

Children with disabilities demonstrate impressive courage when facing medical procedures that would frighten most adults. As parents marvel at their strength, it can be easy to miss telling signs of anxiety and distress in children. It’s important to identify these symptoms and teach effective coping strategies.

Some children are able to confide their worries through words spoken to someone they trust. Many, however, show their anxiety in other ways. Nightmares, the development of new fears, and irritability are common signs that a child cannot cope with his/her current level of stress. Somatic complaints, like headaches and intensified pain, can also indicate your child needs support lowering the anxiety level. Children may express their worries in the form of drawings or play instead of words.

Communication can be a powerful tool to make children feel more comfortable, secure, and prepared for an upcoming event. Encourage your child to ask questions and share concerns. Use your child’s developmental level (age and maturity) as a compass to guide your responses to his/her questions. Answers should be easily understood, but should also be honest explanations of what the child can expect. These challenging times offer parents the unique opportunity to build trust and strengthen the bond they share with their child by serving as a consistent source of support.

There are a number of tools available to help children decrease their anxiety. These tools can be presented in a way that serves the added benefit of assuring them that they are not alone in their experiences. Prepare for a hospitalization or surgery by reading age-appropriate books with your child. Schedule a tour of the hospital before the procedure appointment in order to meet the staff and establish the area as a familiar environment.

Teach, practice, and model deep, slow, diaphragmatic breathing to use before a potentially painful experience. Whenever possible, give your child choices during the process to instill a sense of control in his life. These choices can be as simple as selecting which pajama pants to wear to the hospital or which stuffed companion will travel with him to the doctor’s office.

Positivity also packs a powerful punch in lowering your child’s anxiety levels. Research shows that children with negative self-statements (like “I can’t do this; I’m too scared”) have more difficulty coping with stress and dealing with anxious feelings. Help your child to reverse negative thinking by teaching ways to reframe the experience (“I know I can do this. I’ll be stronger than before”).

Visual reminders can make it easier to focus on the positive aspects of challenging and even painful experiences. Create a deck of “coping cards” for your child with personalized inspirational messages. Friends and family can pitch in with supportive notes that can also serve as a distraction moments before or during a painful procedure.

Finally, decreasing anxiety is a family affair. Children with disabilities are usually adept at sensing worry in others. Involve everyone—including siblings and grandparents—in the preparatory process and communication about what everyone can expect. Develop a plan for when updates will be provided and family visits will commence. Working together to harness the uncertainty of frightening events can serve to lower everyone’s anxiety.

Read more:
For a resource guide to various disabilities, see our Conditions Resource Guide.

For those considering home-schooling their child, see Checklist: Should I Home School My Special Needs Child?

For advice and personal stories on dealing with the stress of bullying—both childhood and adult—see Bullying Is Seldom Child's Play.

For general tips on reducing stress, see Stress Busters: Tips for Sinking Stress.