The “Other Child” with Special Needs: Understanding Siblings of Disabled Children

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

The complex bond shared by siblings has been described as the most influential of all relationships. Enduring ties that join brothers and sisters outlive marriages, survive well past the years of their parents, and extend long before the birth of their own children.

When one child in a family has a disability, sibling relationships can become even more dynamic. In the past, even family-centered approaches to understanding the impact of disability have concentrated primarily on parents. The voices of siblings have been left unheard. These children have equally special needs, and more information is needed on their unique perspectives.

Disability by Association
Researchers have recently corrected the false belief that the impact of disability on a family is universally damaging. While chronic illness does introduce greater levels of stress for all members of the family, the result is not necessarily negative. Children with disabled siblings are offered unique opportunities to develop positive attributes, including loyalty, insight, and altruism. They embrace a greater tolerance for others and become more attuned to society’s treatment of differences.

Unfortunately, children with disabled siblings are often not mere observers of discrimination. In the form of rejection and intolerance from peers, they are also the victims of social stigmas. Peter Burke, author of Disability and Impairment: Working with Children and Families, has termed this experience “disability by association.” This knowledge heightens the need for parents and professionals to view disability as a source of adversity met by the entire family.