While life is not easy, some have the added burden of dealing with different aspects of a disability. Some disabilities are obvious because there is recognizable equipment, i.e. wheelchair, leg braces, etc., but there are also invisible disabilities, those that are emotional or psychological in nature. No matter what the situation, there is certainly an information gap between the able bodied and the disabled. There is a lack of communication, or ignorance, if you will, that keeps this invisible barrier in place.
The reality of the situation is that everyone will experience some form of disability during their lifetime. It could be a parent, a neighbor or a friend. The point is, the sooner this communication barrier can be eliminated, the easier life could be for all.
I have been disabled my entire conscious life. Most may see it as a setback, but it's the only life I know and I feel I have a good life. I accomplish everything I set out to, take care of responsibilities and I have many good friends. My mind is set on being successful in everything; therefore I set a goal for myself each day. I am very determined, if not somewhat stubborn, and that's how I've accomplished the lifestyle I have today. I've got a great place to live, my own transportation and have a great support system: all things that lead to a happy life.
But not all disabled people are doing as well as I am, and this is my secret: I have found yet another way to make this life more livable and happier -- I have found a bridge. A bridge is someone who is able to understand, or relate to, both sides. Such a bridge does not care about your disability and does not see you as being limited. They are open-minded and can see your skills and contributions to the world. They are not patronizing and do not make you feel as if they are feeling sorry for you, or treat you special because you have somehow received “less” in life. A bridge has accepted the fact that they could one day be in your situation, and they are genuinely interested.
Finding a bridge can be difficult because most people are very busy and have their own agenda. Perhaps people are fearful of those who are different, and therefore avoid any kind of interaction. It seems some may believe they are a bridge, but in reality they seek the relationship for their own reasons. Usually it appears to be some type of control drama. Maybe they see the disabled person as weak or easily manipulated, and it makes them feel superior. These people may never openly admit to this idea, but the realization exists and I have experienced it many times myself.
A bridge relationship may begin as an acquaintance, yet the understanding is different from the start. They are able to think outside the box and welcome the opportunity to share their thoughts and ideas with someone who is different from them. They won't offer the cliché responses, like “why don't you take a pain pill for that?” and they may come up with original ideas the average person wouldn't think of. Conversely, I am told, I am a bridge also for this person because I offer the unique perspective someone with a disability has on life. It is a conflux of information between two people who are equal to each other.
If you are fortunate enough to find a bridge to enhance your life, you are given the opportunity to vicariously experience the type of lifestyle that you cannot physically participate in. This is liberating. I have learned so much from my bridge friend about the able bodied world and I have begun to see that we really have very few differences as people. There will always be people who judge us by the external nature of our being and we cannot change that. But with having a bridge as a friend, I am armed with resources that can help me make better life choices. This knowledge empowers me to be.
