After an honest discussion about “labels” on Disaboomlive Facebook group, we asked our group members if they would like to share their views online, and they said, “Go for it!”
Here’s how one member kicked-off the discussion:
“I just had this argument with my mother on the phone AGAIN, and would like to hear the opinions of others. I referred to myself as crippled. (She gets extremely offended and upset when I do this.) However, that’s how I see myself. My legs don’t work. I am crippled. I don’t like the term disabled, and I really despise the word handicapped, and all of the new overly general term such as differently-abled (after all, isn’t everyone differently abled in their lives?) So, what is everyone’s opinion on using that word to describe themselves or others who are physically disabled?”
Here are the responses that followed:
“I also use a wheelchair and I refer to myself and others as persons with disabilities. The term “crippled” is from the olden ages! The same thing as “handicapped” which is a barrier for persons with disabilities that use wheelchairs, etc. So, I agree with your mother.”
“The term cripple to me is hard to hear; it is also used inappropriately I feel.”
“You are absolutely right. It is used inappropriately by abled-bodied people. However, if you search the meaning of cripple, it speaks directly of limbs that are damaged or don’t work . . . so, in my mind, my legs are crippled. But it’s a label that comes with a lot of negativity in our society.”
“People have all kinds of prejudices and perceptions that leak out through language they’re not comfortable with. I’m fat. It’s a descriptive word, not a judgment. You’re crippled, and you are comfortable with that.”
“I prefer diff-abled. The reason is that disabled or disable is a term you use for cars that are stuck on a freeway, or what you do when you take something apart or unplug it to shut it down. It means broken. And the point is that while we are all, at times, disabled by something, we aren’t “disabled.” We have different abilities and how we get from point A to point B might fifer, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. I think we need to take part in shaping others attitudes by using words that promote respect and enlightenment, rather than pity and ignorance.”
“I prefer the intellectually- or physically-disabled.
“I just remembered a really s#@ thing my cousin said to me in passing which I feel, illustrates the way “normal” people can think about us. The gist of the conversation was that she had a relative who was in a car accident and was paralyzed . . . it’s the way she said it to me that got me. She said that the girl was driving home from work and hit some black ice, and paralyzed herself! I'm not embellishing here, that's exactly what was said to me! That's a typical ignorant statement that people make. I know she didn't mean anything hurtful by it, but it stuck with me! No one makes themselves paralyzed! "Normal" people see us sitting in the chair and they think , ‘that's it!’ But, there’s so much more, our whole way of life is turned upside-down. Self-cath, BP, dressing yourself, cooking for yourself, skin issues, etc...I could go on and on! So for me, I suppose, it doesn't matter which word is used...I just want to feel loved and accepted, isn't that what everyone wants?”
“I’m a gimp and don’t mind saying it . . .”
“It is what it is, and you are how you see yourself as being. "Crippled" is a very general term when it gets right down to it! "I don’t believe words can define me . . . not negative words anyway."
“I really had to give this some thought. The only time I can think of being referred to as crippled is from old people from 60's on up, and it has never really bothered me, or when people say handicap or disabled. The only time I really have a problem is when people just assume things about me and react to that. I believe you are what you make of yourself!
“Great point . . . we define what those labels mean with our actions.”
“I'm 51, and the term 'crippled' has very negative connotations for me, so personally I prefer disabled.”
“All the terms used in the past: handicapped, disabled, crippled are terms that take me back to when I was a kid in the early 50's, and leave me with bad feelings. I like to think that God has allowed us to be differently-abled then so-called normal people. Because of our different abilities God lets us see the world in ways that others that are not D-abled cannot. We see things that they don't, maybe because we travel at a slower pace or we are closer to the ground. Let's not use terms that we wouldn’t want to be called ourselves.”
“The older I get the less I care about how people see or describe me. In many ways, those of us in wheelchairs are "invisible" by and large. Add the age factor and the weight factor, (because some of us are fat, and older) and BOOM, some people freak out. Makes me chuckle in a way. Being in a wheelchair isn't "catching", last time I checked. :)”
“I have a difficult time with a label too. I have come to refer to myself as protected. ADA is the statute I am filing my lawsuit under and it gives me a strong sense of value and worth sufficient to be protected.”
“I have a friend with 2 prosthetic legs who rates his daily ability/stability on a scale of "1 to 10 on the gimp factor". But I always refer to him as "Jake"...I figure the prosthetics are obvious...especially when he's wearing shorts. :)”
So, what’s it all boil down to? Human beings want to be seen and appreciated for who they are, not because of what their bodies appear to be. People in wheelchairs are not defined by the condition that put them there, but by the person inside. Whatever the socially-accepted label of the moment, all people want respect and to be talked to and treated like a “normal” person! It boils down to the golden rule: “Treat others as you would treat yourself.” And before you label someone, what label would you attach to yourself?
Thanks to our wonderful Disaboomlive group who shared their thoughts on being labeled. If you’d like to join in our lively discussions, go to disaboomlive on Facebook, and become a member.
