Mental Health - NEW

Life as a teenager with a major mental disorder was tough.  When I was 16 years old (when I was in Junior Year of high school), I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder.  At other times I was classified as a paranoid schizophrenic.  All of the sudden after I broke up with my first girlfriend, I was having grand delusions and auditory hallucinations that I was the center of attention with all of the beautiful women in my school.  It is pretty sad, but I remmeber more clearly breaking up with her on Febuary 12th, 2004, more than I can remember what day our first date was.  I believed in telepathy.  At first it felt pretty good. I even started seriously debating if I was a God.  Around that time, I started acting out these conversations that I had with the voices, and talked to myself during class, and literally 24/7.  I had "communication sessions" where I would spend sometimes as many as 8 hours after school and on a school night talking with these voices.  To me, however pathetic it was, it felt like all fun and games.

 

Then, all the sudden it started turning dark, ugly, and deeply terrifiying.  It changed my life forever.  I started beleiving that I was possessed by the Devil.  I believed that everybody was incriminating me and attacking me, and that I was evil.  My maturity level dropped down dramatically to an infantile level, where I was making cutsy noises as a way to get attention.  I became temporarily incontinent. 

 

thought I was suicidal at times.  My moods were as erratic as my thoughts and my behavior.  It created problems between my family members and I.  My sister even lost a couple friends over my mental illness.

 

A whole lot of people hated me because of my strange behavior beginning when I first started becoming psychotic and manic

 

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After three and a half years of suffering, I am 21 years old.  Being heavily medicated, more mature, and in therapy for several years, I am very seldomly ill.  My psychiatrist has even started decreasing my medication for the first time, because of my excellent condition and progress.  While I am still prescribed more than the maximum FDA approved dose of Seroqeul, as well as Abilty, Lamictal, and Trileptal, I have accomplished a lot.  I am a supervisor at a Walgreens pharmacy.  I am studying to be a pharmacy technician.  I have a girlfriend, am living on my own, and a very independent lifestyle.

 

Living with a major mental illness can be tough.  But one thing that people need to keep in mind is that with perseverance, one can accomplish anything- even releive symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia.

Wow, Alex, that's an amazing and inspiring story. Welcome to disaboom.

I have a nephew who is bi-polor and was diagnosed at 13.  He also has "Schizophrenic tendencies".  He hears voices occasionally on meds but according to him they are getting better.  He is now 18 and is in a special school for students with disabilities. He is also dyslexic.  (I'm also dyslexic by the way. It runs in the family.)  I know that we have gone through a lot with him especially when he begins to enter a depressed or manic state. He has had to be hospitalized on three separate occasions for homicidal and suicidal tendencies.  I'm really glad to hear that things are going well for you.  I hope he can have the same success that you have found.


I had a friend in a physiology class who had illusions of grander.  One day she came into class and appeared to be fine but by the next class period her mother was calling to see if she could get notes because she had slipped into a delusion and believed that she was the queen of England.  What amazed me was that she had developed the English accent and everything.  She had to be hospitalized about 3 weeks later because she was becoming paranoid.  I've lost track of her since I have graduated from that school.

 

I have recently discovered that a classmate of mine's husband is also paranoid schizophrenic.  He believes that some new government organization is after him. It is really effecting his life.  He can't work and hardly leaves the house.  He can't mow his front yard because he believes that they might see him. He has been through many psychologists and psychiatrist because after a while  he thinks that the government agency as hired them to capture him.  I feel for all of his family.  His daughter is getting married soon and we are unsure if he will be able to handle going to the wedding.  He was wary of me at first believing I might have been a spy but I think things are getting better between us.   He is a really nice guy.  He used to have a law firm but now he can't handle any kind of pressure of change in his life. 

Alex,

Congratulations to you and thank you so much for sharing your story.  I think it gives many hope that it is possible for some semblence of recovery. 

My 14 yr old daughter had a psychotic break in Sept 2007.  Her current diagnosis is schizophreniform but I'm told that if she continues to have auditory and visual hallucinations it may change to paranoid schizophrenia.  She has been hospitalized 3 times and currently we are just one step away from hospitalization.  She hears voices that tell her to "hurt herself and others".  That's exactly how she puts it.  She claims they don't tell her specifically how to "hurt herself and others" but she says it scares her.  She also hears voices that repeat her name over and over and she "sees" people who are no longer in her life.  She says the voices don't follow her to the hospital when she does go to the hospital because "the voices know that I will tattle on them so they aren't with me at the hospital".  She has had 2 medication changes since her last hospitalization, but they seem to have no effect on her.  She still has the hallucinations.  Since becoming ill she has also become quite infantile.  When she passes gas she grunts, so as to announce it.  If those around her ignore this, she says "oooooh baby".  This is constant.  She also lies all the time, steals food (her meds make her hungry) and argues constantly.  She will be stealing food in the kitchen (we hear her chewing potato chips) and while she still has the food in her mouth she insists she is not eating anything.  Before becoming ill she talked about becoming a special education teacher.  Her elective in 8th grade was special education assistant.  Now all she talks about is becoming a professional athlete.  This from a girl who has tried twice unsuccessfully to join her school's basketball team.  She failed miserably.  She just recently went back to school.  We had an IEP meeting and she was approved to attend a therapeutic day school.  With the last hospitalization she also had mania.  She talked so fast she could not be understood.  The mania seems to be under control somewhat with depakote.  She also takes Geodon which has now been increased twice since her last hospitalization.  She also takes ativan for anxiety and trazedone to help her sleep.  She is no longer self sufficient.  She cannot get up for school on her own and she needs us to constantly stay on her to make sure she doesn't miss the school bus.  Her psychiatrist is talking about possibly switching to lithium which scares me.

Rosemary

Response by Tom Weiss deleted due to Disaboom Censorship. I would rather censor myself.

Thanks for you story, Alex.  Keep on keeping on.  My oldest sister is paranoid schizophrenic.  She's never admitted to hearing voices, but at her worst, she was convinced that a former psychologist and her boss were watching her and had camera and listening devices in the house.  She is better now with the meds that's she's on and is working part-time as an aide at a nursing home and then part time at Target.  I'm so glad she's able to function.  For so many years, she was on a roller coaster with her meds.  But she is the absolutely best gift giver to her neices and nephews.  Somehow she instictively knows the toy that my daughter and son will play with the most.  She's also so very gentle with littles, and is great with animals too.  She is a great aide.  I've seen her in action and she is very gentle and patient with the little old people that she works with. 

Tom:

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the separation of mind and body. It is unbelievable to me that we are still holding on to the Cartesian separation as if the two could possibly be separated. I think it is also in part due to ideas of the soul and an afterlife. Anyway, I hope we're getting better and moving away from this thinking.

Liesl

Response by Tom Weiss deleted due to Disaboom Censorship. I would rather censor myself.