Posted on: Tue, Oct 23 2007 5:21 PM
Posted by: Roz Silberschein Posts: 15
How interesting: "Bluffing!" I do it all the time and never thought about it.....I'm hard of hearing..I'm over 40 and have been losing more and more hearing for more than 5 years now.....I don't know where it will lead. The doctors think it's "sudden onset deafness!"
I have acquired a "Hearing Dog" from Canine Companions for Independence and recommend that anyone who's having this problem....get a hearing dog...Life is so much better with my companion!
I "Bluff" all the time.....I simply smile; give a thumbs up or shake my head; as if to say "I heard you!" When, in fact, I haven't a clue what they may have said...I watch their body language; I read their lips......I "BLUFF!"
How many of us do this?....I got away with it more before I had the dog...she gives my secret away, if she's wearing her vest....if not...I simply say, "she's in training!" Because "deaf folks" look so "normal", we can "pass" for perfect! And, sometimes it's just easier to "move on!"
Posted on: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:49 AM
Posted by: Boo-Boo Posts: 8
I guess I bluff too but never thought of it that way. I know sometimes I don't get it right because of the way people look at me sometimes.
I spoke to my partner about those wonderful dogs and she thinks I should get one. I don't think my hearing lose is bad enough yet to do that and I would rather have some who needs it more than me get one first.
How do you know when it's time to apply for a dog? Do I really need to do that when I have a partner to help me? Wouldn't it drive the dog nuts if I took it to work and all those phones were ringing?
I have too dogs already (pets) they are wonderful of course and they let me know if anyone shows up at the door. I can hear the door bell if I'm close enough however we had a practice fire alarm at work and becuase of where the alarm is I did not hear it. Once I was driving with my son and he heard sirens come very near and then I saw the firetrucks. Other times I can hear them. What's with that? It confuses me. It seems that some days my hearing is worse than others..............how can that be?????
Posted on: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:59 AM
Posted by: InnerGlow Posts: 89
Karen, great article! My adult step-daughter is deaf and I have found myself bluffing with her from time to time. She speaks fairly well, but spends so much time signing with her deaf friends that her speech can get out of practice and I hate to ask her to repeat herself too often. I try to be conscious when she's speech-reading that I'm not blocking my mouth with my hand or facing away or some other thing that may make it more difficult. But I like those tips at the end of the article for better communication. Thanks for sharing that.
Posted on: Wed, Nov 21 2007 7:14 PM
Posted by: Deaf Mom Posts: 705
Roz Silberschein: I "Bluff" all the time.....I simply smile; give a thumbs up or shake my head; as if to say "I heard you!" When, in fact, I haven't a clue what they may have said...I watch their body language; I read their lips......I "BLUFF!" How many of us do this?....I got away with it more before I had the dog...she gives my secret away, if she's wearing her vest....if not...I simply say, "she's in training!" Because "deaf folks" look so "normal", we can "pass" for perfect! And, sometimes it's just easier to "move on!"
Hi Roz,
A lot of deaf and hard of hearing people bluff. It's a survival skill of sorts-- otherwise we'd be stopping conversation every second. But having said that-- I try hard not to bluff anymore. I'm up front with people about what I need to make communication happen. I tell them to slow down when I can't keep up, to face me when they don't, to take turns in groups-- stuff that I didn't do when I was growing up. There are still situations-- like family dinners at the in-laws where people "forget" and the conversation speeds up. I'll still interrupt if I want to know what's going on and other times I'll let it slide. I do wish I could invent a little Taser that I could aim at my brother in laws when their mouths move a mile a second...
Posted on: Wed, Nov 21 2007 7:20 PM
InnerGlow: Karen, great article! My adult step-daughter is deaf and I have found myself bluffing with her from time to time. She speaks fairly well, but spends so much time signing with her deaf friends that her speech can get out of practice and I hate to ask her to repeat herself too often. I try to be conscious when she's speech-reading that I'm not blocking my mouth with my hand or facing away or some other thing that may make it more difficult. But I like those tips at the end of the article for better communication. Thanks for sharing that.
You're quite welcomed!
Posted on: Wed, Nov 21 2007 9:27 PM
Posted by: Kara Posts: 2,333
(raising hand as fellow bluffer)
One of the lesser talked about symptoms of my condition is loss of hearing. Since it's a bone condition, the tiny bones of the ear are also affected-usually starting in the 20's....uhh...now for me! My boyfriend has the same condition but even worse hearing so our TV is up really loud here...I always have to go in the other room if someone calls. When I used to go home to visit my family and we'd get together to watch a movie, I tried to ask them to keep turning it up...I think they thought it was just a preference and would kind of laugh it off because it was too loud for them until I finally said that I really can't hear what they are saying AT ALL! Now-we compromise and we watch them with captions. I have a harder time with movies than TV.
I'm still a social bluffer in other situations though. People are so high above me anyways that if they whisper-forget about it! It's difficult working with kids and adolescents too because they mumble or look down and talk...I'm getting better in those situations but it's tough with friends to ask them to repeat over and over.
~Kara
P.S. AWESOME article. I really enjoyed it!
Posted on: Thu, Nov 22 2007 7:34 AM
KaraSwims: (raising hand as fellow bluffer) One of the lesser talked about symptoms of my condition is loss of hearing. Since it's a bone condition, the tiny bones of the ear are also affected-usually starting in the 20's....uhh...now for me! My boyfriend has the same condition but even worse hearing so our TV is up really loud here...I always have to go in the other room if someone calls. When I used to go home to visit my family and we'd get together to watch a movie, I tried to ask them to keep turning it up...I think they thought it was just a preference and would kind of laugh it off because it was too loud for them until I finally said that I really can't hear what they are saying AT ALL! Now-we compromise and we watch them with captions. I have a harder time with movies than TV. I'm still a social bluffer in other situations though. People are so high above me anyways that if they whisper-forget about it! It's difficult working with kids and adolescents too because they mumble or look down and talk...I'm getting better in those situations but it's tough with friends to ask them to repeat over and over. ~Kara P.S. AWESOME article. I really enjoyed it!
Kara,
Thanks for sharing! I agree, it is tough to ask for something to be repeated. One of the things that I did with two of my neighbors was to have a frank talk with them one day about what I needed to make communication happen between us. Since that talk, the communication took an amazing turn. They learned to do all sorts of things to make conversation flow. They're some of my best friends now. :)
Perhaps today at Thanksgiving we can all "take the bull by the horns" and reduce that bluffing. :)
Posted on: Tue, Dec 11 2007 2:07 PM
Posted by: Monica C. Posts: 11
I think all of us who are hard of hearing, deaf, or suffer from any "invisible" disability have bluffed at one time or another. Are we so good at it we can defeat a "lie detector" test?
Sometimes telling people our "story" so they can understand can be a bit repetitive in every day life. So while we can ask for something to be repeated once or twice --- the third time 'round, most of us just smile and "bluff" (bobbing our head up and down or sideways, taking cue from the others in the crowd). Just for your interest, a new type of "lie detector" has been invented which can pinpoint a "bluffer" a mile away: (I know -- a bit off-topic -- but interesting)
Student turns gut instinct into a top science project
"...Cassandra Fong, a well-spoken Grade 12 student, spent more than a year and a half perfecting her experiment, titled, "Liar, liar, your stomach's on fire."
One hundred volunteers were questioned 100 times, while electrodes measured their stomach activity, she said. When they were lying, the activity changed..."
(The truth now --- how many of us find our stomach tightens, when we bluff? Ah Hah! Did you know when you blush, your stomach blushes also? Talk about "gut instinct", eh?)
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