Last post Wed, Apr 30 2008 4:10 PM by kbarton. 16 replies.
Hi Spinner, I am a caregiver for a gentleman who is a traumativ brain injury which presents symptoms similar to a stroke. I too have fallen in love with him and due to the nature of his injuries, he needs assistance with getting up/down out of bed, take showers, get dressed, and all house work, laundrey, and cooking. Since you say your man is a C-5 injury, I am going to assume he is paralyzed from the neck area or maybe upper torso area down and has little to no feeling in his lower extremities. This can either be a huge problem for the both of you or it can be a minor issue, depending upon both parties mind set as well as the amount of decreased feeling he has because if he has decreased to no feeling, he will need a lot of care. My guy does not feel too good about himself in regards to his decreased mobility and even though he has full feeling, he has decreased mobility,bringing in the areas of assistance I help him with. That is why I say it depends on both parties mind set. That all said, I think if you are physically capable of dealing with the work involved with being a caregiver, and if you are willing to deal with days that are good emotionally as well as physically for this gentleman, then you need to sit down together and talk about not only your feelings/fears, but also his and if they are close enojugh to the same goals, try it out. My favorite expression is "nothing ventured, nothing gained", and believe me, if you have the love and respect needed for this type of a relationship, the ability to convey this to each other is something extremely rare but absolutely cherished. I know from my own personal experience, the relationship I have had with my guy by far exceeds what I had ever imagined as far as being able to the little pleasures life has to offer.
How long have you been together? You said that you have done the RESEARCH but have you actually been around or lived with him to experience first hand what it all entails? I am all for falling in love, I wish I could find that. I REALLY hope it works out for you. Maybe he is afraid that you're blinded by love right now and once the dusts settles you won't be happy with the situation. My heart goes out to you and ultimately I think if you TRULY love someone and they TRULY love you then you can conquer anything together!!
Kimberly
