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Harsh? I think not.  That was just someone telling it like he sees it and pulling no punches.  A little like life does.  After all the title of this thread is "I need your opinion".

I will never post on this site again. I'm the one who is bitter and angry?!? Liesl and Shelley were the only ones who got where I was coming from. Dasies, you are downright mean. Don't bother to write another thing, because I will not come back to this post again. Thank you Liesl. Thanks Shelley.

 

By the way, I have met some really nice people on this site, but obviously, except for Liesl and Shelley, they didn't read this post. I have given up on people like Dasies and Iam, they aren't worth the effort to try to explain anything to.

beakerless:

Harsh? I think not.  That was just someone telling it like he sees it and pulling no punches.  A little like life does.  After all the title of this thread is "I need your opinion".

To make the categorical assertion that this woman needs to look to herself because people don't abandon their loved ones is both needlessly harsh and presumptive. There's no way any one of us can know what the reality is behind this situation, which makes a categorical statement about not just the MIL's behavior but all people's behavior fallacious and unnecessary. Also, even if people ask for opinions that doesn't mean we have a free pass to be rude.

Becky don't leave. What does that solve? There are going to be things we don't always like reading or hearing, but that doesn't mean we give up on our personal goals. This is a supportive website, much more then I could of imagined.

BEAKER I just wanna hug the stuffing out of you some times. I never really wanted to impose and ask why you were on Disaboom. Thanks for sharing a little bit about yourself.

IAMWHATIAM, your post touch my heart. I know there are times when we want to lend support but not always want to tell our story and bring up painful things to the present.  I feel I really got to see you first hand at the SCI meeting. You shared, and advised without any motives.  It was great to just sit back and watch a few of you all talk together. Real learning experience for me. Not one of you ever complained. You all mentioned how your disability has changed your lives, but it was all positive.

I think it's great your dad's have joined this site as well.

Becky I hope you stay. It's not a contest here.  To me if you play a victim role you stay in that issue, you stay in the rut, your constantly relieving it. When you can come to the other side and be a survivor I think is when the real growing begins.  I for one would rather live in pain, and struggle, and do it on my own, then just let other people. I always can count on myself.

 

I wub you guys!

Becky 

How very charming. Pick me out of a group that has said some quite rude things, and make me the meanest person around. Cute.

 

Maybe you want to share some insight on that one.

 

Regards

Liesl, I'm sorry you do not agree with my approach, but I am comfortable with everything I said, and do not feel the need to apologize to anyone.

I can only base my judgement on the story I was told, and there are just too many holes in it to believe that Becky was not in some way culpable of turning her mother-in-law against her.   I don't have time or energy to sugar coat my reactions.  Becky asked for an opinion, and I gave mine.  Now because of two people who disagreed with her she is leaving, never to post again!  WTH?  Despite all the other wonderful , kind people she has met here she is leaving because Daisies and I called her bluff.  I wish her luck finding a place that everyone is always going to agree with her, and sooth her furrowed brow whenever everything doesnt go her way.

I wish life worked that way, but it doesn't.  We have to pay for the way we chose to treat people.  As I have said, I wish we had the mother-in-laws side to the story.

 

Shelley, thank you for the kind words, and for facilitating the chat that night.  It was very interesting talking with, and meeting other SCI's.  I hope we can do it again soon.  You always try to see both sides of the story, and help give pertinant, caring advice.

Daisies and Beaker, I am happy to be in the company of you other meanies who arent afraid to speak the truth.  We are here to support each other, but just having a disability does not make us all above reproach. 

I know there were times that I was not the nicest person to be around, but my parents had the courage to tell me to quit being an ass and shape up.  I'm glad that they didn't just let me drive them off.  It seems like that is  the way Becky and her mother-in-law deal with things.  Just walk away. 

 

IamwhatIam,

 

I'm with you.   I belong to other forums.  I'm even a moderator on one.  I never understood why people as for opinions and then get righteous and ticked off when the opinion goes against them.  

For future reference, if you are just looking for people so to say "Oh you poor thing. Of course you are in the right" don't tile the thread "I need your opinion".

 

I hope she finds the answers in life she needs. 

 

In my opinion, I think it's outragous to put all this on a 70 year old woman.  I couldn't beven think of asking my Mom to do one 10th of the things she has already done.  Maybe it's time for hubby to change jobs to be around more to care for her and their kids.