Last post Thu, May 01 2008 2:23 PM by Daisies. 121 replies.
How many people are willing to simply turn away and does just ignoring such behavior perpetuate it? Opinions appreciated.
This is why we would benefit from more moderation in the chat room. NOT to ban people, but to clearly say something when language becomes unacceptable under the terms of service.
Good point, Nightingale. More moderators may help resolve the issues, provided Disaboom has the resources presently to provide that on a 24/7/365 basis.
But if the TOS says no racist, sexist, homophobic, disability-phobic attacks will be tolerated, then members in the chatroom when an "incident" occuirs simply need to gang up on the culprit and make sure that person understands that his/her hateful and invalidating comments are not acceptable. Do members have to be "deputized" by management to stick up for their principles, for gawdsakes? I'm sure that as members of an adult website, we can do that for ourselves and be just as efficient in maintaining a friendly, respectful decorum in the chatrooms.
Justin.
Justin DeCastro:Good point, Nightingale. More moderators may help resolve the issues, provided Disaboom has the resources presently to provide that on a 24/7/365 basis. But if the TOS says no racist, sexist, homophobic, disability-phobic attacks will be tolerated, then members in the chatroom when an "incident" occuirs simply need to gang up on the culprit and make sure that person understands that his/her hateful and invalidating comments are not acceptable. Do members have to be "deputized" by management to stick up for their principles, for gawdsakes? I'm sure that as members of an adult website, we can do that for ourselves and be just as efficient in maintaining a friendly, respectful decorum in the chatrooms. Justin.
You got it. also, if multiple people report the issue with evidence (i.e. chat log, screenshot, etc) then Customer Service can discpline the perpetrator (temporary ban, permanent ban, depending on the offense). Just remember, if you report something you have to have firm evidence; 'he said she said' sorts of reports are not sufficient.
I've tried hard to moderate in the chat room...but we as moderators have no tools to stop this kinda stuff in the chat rooms...forums we have several...but we can't actually ban anyone. The only thing is member controlled not moderator. Any member can block another chat member but the only way this works is if every one in the room follows thru, some know how the function works...but most aren't familiar with it
Big problem is that the chat rooms are on a different plateform from the Disaboom website. I've asked management for help there but still no resolution. I've also tried to find IP addresses of violators...all people on chat have a common IP so you can't track them that way
Joe
I know you have tried very hard Joe. I think perhaps I did not make my point very well. It seems that in the chat room and the world at large people just seem to feel that if we just ignore ugly racial comments that is enough. It is not and people like King and Ghandi knew this.
Because this site is populated largely by individuals who have suffered some type of discrimination based on disability during their life I guess I had hoped things would be different.
To those who simply say I have problems in my life I don't want to get involved SHAME ON YOU.
My question is how many times do warnings have to be given before they go that final step and ban some one. For months I have been repeatedly attacked, and my husband as well. He has nothing to do with disaboom at all. Growing up your taught that you don't attack some ones family and kids. Your taught manners and right from wrong and it seems the ones who do know how to treat people are the ones being attacked. I've had people call me a N lover, I've had people call my husband a N. I had a person today say I'd have a N baby and so on. How many times does this go on before some thing is truly done. It seems some use their disability or age as an excuse for their behavior and it is sickening to me. So how bad does it have to get before some thing is done. I have had people private message me, and I ask them not to about 50 times a day and they do it any way. They tell me to make them. There is a total lack of respect. I think doing it in a chat room seems acceptable to some. It's not. Yeah you don't have to be accountable, look some one in the eye. If you used that N word on the street you'd get your ass beat. There are no moderators so these people have an excuse just to do it more and say no one is here from staff so I'll do whatever I want. I shouldn't and others shouldn't have to put up with daily abuse. We shouldn't have to put up with the preschooler behavior. I tell myself just lower my standards, but I can't fake who I am. You mention the terms of service it's written out against sexual harassment and slander. it states no racial acts etc. You show some one breaking those rules over and over and nothing is done. What is the point of having rules if never enforced?
Hey guys
There have been times i am sure when we have all thought or said something negative about other races, this is natural tribalism. However as humanity progresses with it's social and emotional development i am sure that these issues will fade into history.
I am white and i have listened carefully to people of my race who have made negative comments about different groups and i understand where some of them are coming from. The thing is that i have also looked at what great men such as Martin Luther King and Ghandi both said and stood for and it is now my sincere belief that humanity just needs time to advance and grow in it's emotional, social and moral maturity.
This takes time and as a part of that journey we can all play our part in making that progress a reality.
Regards
In addition....my pet concern is that kids under 18 go there...we gotta keep it clean
PS...I got into a major pissing contest with one racist...and another that stalks women just always hangs there...ans I'm powerless
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH WE ARE LOSING GOOD PEOPLE ! NEEDS TO STOP NOW
RAINEYYYYYYYYYYYY
Well as i am the new boy here i guess that puts me in the clear
Perhaps someone should start a thread called "Topic Taboo's"
I am happy for this as i do not come online to offend people. (although i have been a little fire starter in the past)
Racist comments are never accptable anywhere,I think ignoring the problem is definetly the wrong thing to. More moderators would be helpful,bans and suspensions would be effective also.
Well, I was looking for a way to stop the e-mails I keep receiving from the amputations section of the Chat Room and Discussions and who should I find posting something but my old friend Beakerless. You should re-read your comments below that you made to me and taken from my own post. You should also read your own blog titled "Anomymity on the Internet." Talk about discrimination.
I am not a racist and never have been. No, I don't think it is right to use racial comments at all and I never have, on this site or in my life. I don't judge people by their color, religion or anything. I have known very nice black people and horrible black people when I lived in Lansing, Michigan. I have also known very nice white people and horrible white people, and the same goes for Asian people, on and on. A person is not good or bad because of their color, religion or sexual orientation. I have very good friends who are gay. I happen to live in a predominantly white area now, so I don't have any black friends close to me now. I have an adopted Korean niece and nephew, who now have children of their own of mixed race. I wish we lived in a world that was tolerant of each other, unfortunately we do not.
I do not feel it is right to call people names at all, names like: liar, selfish, bitter, on and on, Names like I was called all so subtly when I posted on this site. I had a problem, posted it on this site and some of the people, one of which who has posted to this very thread, decided to pick away at me. I had to defend my character and good intentions, and I was still not believed. Then, when I tried to defend myself again, it got even worse. You even chimed in with your opinion. No one likea to be called names, no matter what is said, whether it is a dirty racial comment and a character attack.
I was discriminated against even by you. You told me you were raised by an amputee who built your house. Good for him, and I'm not being sarcastic here. I mean: wonderful, excellent, I'm glad he could do that. I cannot do that. You don't know anything about me, yet you chose to judge me. I don't know what it's like to be of another race, but I can guess and I can empathize. Just being a woman sometimes leads to discrimmination. I don't like it at all and I would then, as a result, not disriminate against someone else. Also, I am not paralyzed and I would never ever assume that I know what that is like, but I can guess. I can also empathize, can't I?
You cannot lump amputees together any more than you can lump together people who are paralyzed. You also cannot lump together people of a race or culture. Every amputee has a different degree of amputation and problems associated with it later on. I was in a bed for a year and I went through a really tough time. I was not looking for sympathy, I was looking for encouragement and support. That is not what I got from some of the people. Others were very kind and thoughtful. I happened to have a problem forgiving my mother-in-law because she was not there for me. Everyone on this site has a different degree of injury or disease. We are all different. But, we can be kind and thoughtful to each other, can't we?
You talk about true survivors. You talked about being as mean as you can be. Well. it doesn't feel good does it, when someone is as mean as they can possibly be to you. I feel, as people who have been discriminated against already, because they are disabled, we should band together and stick up for one another. I guess some people just like to be as disagreeable as they can be. I can't change that, I wish I could. Wherever we go in life there is always someone who is going to be a jerk just because they can be.
I believe nasty comments of any kind do not belong in a chat room or anywhere on the Internet. You were not the worst person to make a comment in my post, but you were not the best either. Live by your own words.
p.s. Take my advice, never ask for someone's opinion, they might just rip you to shreads when they give it to you.
beakerless
By the way I was raised by an amputee who mixed the cement for our house in a wheelbarrow, poured it into the foundations and built a house for our family with no help. He also built a full machine shop and worked full time for over 35 years supporting us.
I have fallen numerous times myself, once down the stairs but my choice is still not to let anger, resentment and bitterness dominate my life.
Sorry Becky, If you were trying to make Beakerless look bad with those quotes of hers, you failed. You asked for an opinion, and when SEVERAL of us gave you an opinion you did not like, you turned on the attack. You were the one who called names, and said you were leaving. You came to a disability site, and accused others of "not knowing" how bad you have had it. People here are not members because their lives are perfect. Most of us have gone through serious accidents or illnesses, and we DO KNOW. All you wanted to do is complain about your mother-in-law, and how she had abandoned you. That is between you and your mother-in-law to work out, but you stated that you will not confront her, so what are we supposed to do? There had to be a reason why a good relationship went in the toilet. I suspect you know what happened. Face up to it and get on with your life. You obviously have a problem with personal relationships if you were able to alienate strangers on a message board.
Iam, you again. You are the problem here on this site, not me. You started the trouble with my post and you were very confrontational and judgemental against me. You basically called me a liar and I felt I had to defend my position. You got nasty with me first. Maybe you should ask yourself why you like to do that. You like to be confrontational and I do not. I had to defend myself and my character. I will take the high road now and not get into it with you again. I will not say anything further to you.
