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The place for discussion regarding parents, kids, grandparents, siblings, etc--if it's a family issue it goes here.
Posted on: Sun, Apr 27 2008 2:34 PM
Posted by: maryann61 Posts: 13
First, let me say I'm new here. My fiancee is disable and we are expecting our first child in June. We can hardly wait and are sooo excited! My man is concerned he won't be able to help as much with the baby as he would like though. He suffered a severe head injury (fractured skull, brain surgery, spent a month in a coma) and now walks with a cane. He is sad and worried he'll never be able to hold the baby and walk with them at the same time. I feel so sad when he says this, and would like to know if any of you were in a similar situation and how you handled it.
Also, he occassionally loses his balance, and is worried he may fall and hurt the baby. I don't know what to say or do to reassure him, but I am hoping to hear from others in similar situations. Any input or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much! Looking forward to getting to know all of you! :)
Maryann
Posted on: Sun, Apr 27 2008 3:14 PM
Posted by: Becky Posts: 1,551
Congratulations and Welcome!
My first thought was for you guys to get him a child carrier - the kind you wear, with the straps and "pouch" for the baby. However, if he falls alot, that wouldn't work. My second thought was then to get him a small umbrella stroller - the kind that have the sling seat and the curved handles - to use in the house. This would be small enough to use in the house. This way, he could transport the baby to and from and then, when he sat down, he could just pick the baby up. Good luck to you both!
Posted on: Sun, Apr 27 2008 5:58 PM
Thanks! My mom actually suggested the stroller idea as well. We did recieve a carrier as a baby shower gift too. It's not so much that he falls a lot but when he does, he worries it might be bad, you know? I just keep telling him where there's a will, there's a way! :)
Posted on: Sun, Apr 27 2008 6:12 PM
Posted by: Nightengale Posts: 672
Welcome! Also congraduations!
I don't have kids but I work with them in my training as a pediatrician. I use a cane some of the time and my balance is not great due to cerebral palsy. In addition I lack strength in my hands and arms. So even though I can lift babies, I don't pick them up and carry them around.
In the hosptial nursery I am fortunate that the babies all come with little wheelie bassinettes. So if I have to transport a baby I hang my cane on the bassinette and then push to where I need to be. I brace myself on a bed or table before lifting baby out and handing over to mom. If I want to hold a baby in my arms, I do so sitting down. With the baby on a table, I can roll the baby from side to side to dress and change, instead of picking the baby up with one hand as I see others do.
The important part of being a father isn't how he moves the baby around, its how he loves for the baby and provides for its needs. Using a stroller (or even a baby carriage - do they still make these?) would work for transporting the baby. Then when he is seated or standing stably somewhere he can lift the baby, change, feed and just love on him or her!
Posted on: Sun, Apr 27 2008 9:06 PM
Thanks for the input! Shane has loads of upper body strength, so I'm not worried about that part so much. I just keep reminding him he'll be fine and he's going to be a great daddy!
How cool your going to be a pediatrician! :)
Posted on: Mon, Apr 28 2008 2:32 AM
Posted by: PSYCHTALK Posts: 7
I have used a wheelchair since age 15 because of polio; as a baby, but I took care of my baby girl ;bathed, dressed and fed her all by myself. Tell your husband that he could get a wheelchair just to carry the baby around the house. If he doesn't want to get a w/c he could get a Glide About; a chair with four casters since he uses his legs. But he really doesn't need to do any of these things if he just hold his child and play with him/her the child willl not only get to know him but will love him. I had to do everything sitting in my chair. was determined to be the best mother ever and must say I did a good job. I never droppeds the baby or hurt her in any way. Once a baby comes into your life everything falls into place; just love them.
Posted on: Mon, Apr 28 2008 4:24 PM
Posted by: Whitney Posts: 679
Yay for babies! Ugh this last month and half is killer.
I second all of the ideas people have thus far mentioned. Something Nightengale said prompted me to add that you can find a bassinette with wheels on the bottom. The one we have, for example, has locking wheels so that while it has wheels it won't roll away. That might help with his balance, especially when baby is little itty-bitty.
I also sing the praises of the Moby Wrap (www.mobywrap.com). It takes some learning to get the wrap around you the first few times but after that it is a godsend. One of the things I like about it better than a standard baby carrier is it not only far more comfortable and easier on yours and his back but it also keeps baby higher up on your body so that it doesn't mess with his center of gravity as much. Baby likes it because he/she is sitting right up against mom/dad's chest.
Posted on: Mon, Apr 28 2008 9:10 PM
Posted by: Vinny Posts: 649
Hi Maryann
Welcome to Disaboom-Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your first child!!
Stay Strong
Vinny
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