Last post Tue, Aug 26 2008 12:53 PM by CNo64. 16 replies.
Have been battling with depression most of my adult life. Had a brain stem stroke in May of 2005 & was fortunate enough to have recovered enough to return to my job of managing a warehouse for a soft drink co. About a month ago, I knew something was wrong when I almost got rid of my dog because she needed a new ecollar. I thought the expense was not worth the friendship of 9 yrs. By the , I bought the ecollar. But I made an appointment with a mental heath professional, but had to wait about a month. In that time several things happened at work, I only worked 12 hrs a day which is ok, but let a project go in order to help my people with thier work so we wouldn't be there even longer. In turn, I was written up with the condition if it didn't improve, I would be terminated. My decision to to try to help my workers was based on my health & trying not to work longer. It turned out bad. Part of the write up was as a manger, my hrs are not set & I need to work extra hours to complete certain tasks. So I tried that this week & exhausted myself bnecause of 2-16 hrs days followed by a 14 hr day. By Thursday my appointment came due with the mental health professional. I found out how bad my depression was when I broke into tears & said I don't want to die, but I sure don't want to live like this, plus my answers to some other questions. She said she wanted me to go from there to the hospital for my safety, but I refused. She wrote a note not to return to work until Monday, & when I called to tell them that, work had a list of things they wanted the Dr. to fax them. Just like they didn't beliesve me when I said I'd bring the note on Monday. I feel like they're trying to develop a case against me. I know they couldn't know about how I feel if I work to hard,(stroke or depression), but I'm pushing myself to work 12 hrs. I don't qualify for disability, & lucky & glad I don't, but am scared what the outcome might be. I'm 58 years old & afraid if I lose my job of 30 yrs, I don't know what will happen. I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
fishndad: I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
I feel like I'm just hanging by a thread, both my job & my life. Am trying to turn it over to a higher power, but just don't know where to turn while I'm waiting for an answer. Has anyone else suffered severe depession this long after a stroke? Any ideas what to do? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Mike
You're right; it is *very* difficult to be in a situation like this, and just trust God and not worry, but I think that's exactly what you should do.
It does sound like your current employer is looking for an excuse to terminate you, but if that happens, you can get unemployment benefits, and you'll still have 30 years of experience under your belt. It may be that your right job is out there somewhere else.
I'm glad you sought help from a professional. From what I've seen and heard, depression following a stroke is common, to the point at which it's almost *expected.*
The fact that you had depression even before your stroke makes it sort of a "double whammy."
Cooperate with your doctor's suggestions, and be patient with yourself. You're a survivor, so don't ever lose sight of that!
Keep us posted.
Carla N.
You don't say if were taking meds or not for this long known issue. I shall presume you weren't. So we should rule out any drug interactions. After my stroke I tried to return to work about 6 six months later but I was lterally half the person I was because I couldn't multitask like I used to - let alone sign my name to documents because I was still partially paralysed on my rightside and right handed. I was weakened all over and had no more stamina to make the entire 8 day let alone a 14 hour one. Sounds to me like not only were you depressed but stressed to the max. This stress probably was the reason for your meltdown. Lighten up on yourself. You were definitely not ready to return to work and any medical professional advice would have backed you up. Even superman couldn't work that many hours - you worked yourself to exhaustion and the depression issue came to the forefront and took over. I think you'll find you do qualify for disability and find a real medical professional in your HMO or one on your own. Don't be ashamed or afraid of your conditions. You sound afshamed of the stigma - associated with those disabled by medical complications. You shouldn't care what others think - YOU should only care about you. You knew the answer all along and should persue that course of action again. Miracles and strength from a higher being can help but you can't always rely them - so you have to help yourself and do the right thing. A good medical professional and the right medication for you will - see one who does. Now ... any delays will only strengthen the power of the depression. I think you know that too. Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
mitskev: Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
Returning to work and their silly expectations (my work expected me to carry on too) obviously took their toll on your physical & mental well being. Shame on them. Do the right thing for you.
However, none of this is in any way your fault, so cut yourself some slack.If you're terminated, it will be essentially because you had a stroke. You might want to look into your legal options.
Are you a union member?
Do let us know how this all works out.
I have been depressed for the past 5 years since the first of my 5 strokes. I was on Fluoxatine,but now I am on Cymbalta. This website is the only thing that keeps me sane.
To the original poster - we all speak from our own experiences. We wouldn't make this stuff up for sure. You sound like a reasonable person and medication can help. Years of lab testing and clinical studies prove it. I can't tell you what you already know. We all couldn't possibly sway your decision to do what's best or right for you. Our good thoughts, hopes and wishes go out to you.
I.'ve been confined to a wheelchair for 30 years ads a result of a spinal cordtumor and woas fortunate enough to have a great job. I held this job for 38 years until I had a stroke this past January. I tried very hard to go back to work but I'm just not able. Its the very worst feeling but I agree eith others, you have to take care of yourself. NOBODY should be allowed to take away your self esteem. Best wishes.
LeeDemp: NOBODY should be allowed to take away your self esteem. Best wishes.
NOBODY should be allowed to take away your self esteem. Best wishes.
So, does Cymbalta work really wel for you? I've been on Lexapro forever, it seems like a nd I find that I get reallyweepy and depressed if I forget to take it . At first, I wasn't too keen on taking additional medication, coz Lord knows i take plenty enough on a daily basis. But , it really does help, so, ask your doctor for a suggestion on what to take for your depression. I'm glad I did!Goodluck to you and God bless!Hang in there. It will be alright. Also, pray a lot and ask the Lord for help. Ifnothing else, it will ease your mind. Take care!I had my stroke in 20004after a brain aneurism burst.It's been hell for me and my family ever since, but, what can you do besides grin and bear it? Theonething that cheers me up some is the fact that I am now able to walk with the aid of a cane. With moretherapy, I'm sure I will eventually walk unassisted. I know our lives are very difficult because of our limitations but, you get used to it and thrive after a while, right?I also thank God for this website. These days, I feel like I've found new friends because of disaboom. My friends all seemmto have gone away so I've felt very alone for the past year or so.No one ever seems to have time for me. At first, they were awesome ut , somehow, after a while, I started being left on my own more and more each week that goes by. You are all welcome to email me, if you wwant to.In fact, I'd welcome it. LET'S ALL KEEP OUR CHINS UP AND HANG IN THERE!!!
Keep the Faith. I am a stroke survivor and I wanted to share something that might be helpful. First I must say please continue to keep in touch with your doctors and mental health professionals. Having said that, I can relate how difficult it can be to fight depression and other mental, social and emotional issues following stroke. I have faced many of them as well. In fact I struggled so much, I decided to write a book to help others. I hope to inspire as many members of the community as possible. I suggest that the most important priority is to keep yor risk factors down and keep stress and depression in check. Evaluate your fears and vtry to visualize your success at work. The acronym for fear is FALSE EXPECTATIONS APPEARING REAL. If the pressure continues, talk to someone in Human Resources confidentially. Perhaps they have an employee assistance plan. It is not easy but just a few suggestions that I have found helpful.
Good Luck and continued good health
Ron Gardner
hello my name is brian, and i suffered a stroke at 16 years old while i was in my coma because of a football injury. depression is very common when someone like you and someone like me have lost alot and changed since our strokes. i am 35 years old now and i am medicated for depression. you should ask your primary doctor for some medications so you can help with your depression. believe me i tried commiting suicide 4 years ago and that was because i was very depressed, and mad at the world. so please get help, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel, believe me. please keep in touch and tell me how you are doing with your depression, i hope i have helped you, you friend brian dropkin. my e-mail address is www.dropkinb@yahoo.com
Hi, Brian and thanks for your words of wisdom. You are very smart for such a young guy. Thanks for your advice. I've sent you a personal email, but thought I'd repeat my sentiments here. To Mike; hang in there; I know how you feel I'll keep all of us in mynightly prayers. You two take care!
Love,
Annie[:'(]
Thanks, Ron, for your words of wisdom. That helps me a lot. I've been suffering from depression for the last 3-4 years. And, I'm scared. I'm thinking bad thoughts about my husband; hence myprior post about him divorcing me. I'm so sorry for whining like that but I do appreciate everyone's response and advice. You guys are like my family. No one here around me seems to understand so I feel so all alone. Is this normal?I'm just afraid that I'll lose both my husband and our son because of this depression. Like I told Brian in my email to him , I'll check with my doctor about taking some other anti-depressant. I 've been taking Lexapro but, pobviously, it's not doing the trick.There must be something else out there. . .The only thing I noticed happening to me when I forget or run out of Lexapro is that I am constantly weeping for no apparent reason.
