Mental Health - NEW

Posted on: Fri, Sep 19 2008 12:58 AM

Posted by: george9t7 Posts: 76

Hi, Mgean and all:

I'm here at Disaboom because I had Polio when i was two in Okinawa.  I'm here on a BPD forum as you are.  I had a wife that was a boardline personality.  Was married  in 1990, separated in 1992 and divorced by 1994.  I remember the marriage counselor telling us that she was boardline and  also co-Dependant.  She kinda liked the idea of being co-Dependant, but didn't know what borderline was at the time and neither did she, I'm sure. 

I found out about BPD from "walking on egg shells" given to me by a client and friend who was having problems with his mate who had BPD.    I tested positive for living with a BPD and when my son came out for the summer, i gave him the test too.  We both got a perfect score and she would therefore be a BPD person.    Now, I'm going to make an interesting connection.

You said you have a Disassociate Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder.  I found out in 1997 that i have Disassociate Disorder from another client this one was a Psychiatrist MD who specialized in trauma.  She would come to see me every other month or so and one day we went to lunch together.  That's when i found out i had DID.  I found out from her, yes i did.  lol  She didn't have a doubt at all as to me with DID, but she had some problems dealing with the AMA and/or the "false memory" people.  She had lost her MD and when i ask her she explained it to me and told me also that everyone in her line of work has had similar problems.  For some reason i found myself very interested in the topics that she brought up over lunch.  We had many more lunches as all were pleasant and very informational and exciting for me.

So, where I'm at now is ......  Is there a connection between the borderline personality and the Disassociate Disorder?  I'm wondering and would like to chat with you about that.

I'm George. 

Posted on: Fri, Sep 19 2008 1:06 AM

Posted by: Lieslmcq Posts: 2,303

myrrh:

I'm not really interested in sympathy from anyone but rather in helping to make it known that this condition does exist and to encourage others suffering from it to accept responsibility for their recovery inasmuch as they are able. 

  

Thank you so much for this post. It was quite interesting and educational. Did you go to a therapist who worked with you on cognitive therapy?

Posted on: Fri, Sep 19 2008 9:29 PM

Posted by: Megan N All Posts: 3

KaraSwims:

 

Did you always have a positive view of your diagnosis or how did you change your perspective?

When i was first diagnosed DID, i freaked out, didnt want to hear it or acsept it. Ok so i did some thing i didnt remember doing, like putting the dirty washing up in the cooker (as someone insided didnt want to do them) Drew pictures, that i had no memorie of doing, emailed people i did not remember wrighting, many things. But why? i didnt want to know, that scared me, and when they exsplained why, i got scared, didnt want to know. WHY? becuse DID also means there is a lot more that has happened to you in your past than you can remember, as each insider holds the secrets, they hold the pieces of the pie that is our life. our past, they hold the hurts and pains of what happened to us, the memories. Does anyone want to acsept bad things have happened to them, more than they already remember? does anyone want to acsept you do things with out realising it, nope!

 Once i came to terms with it, i started to learn, not only did they hold these hurtfull memories, that some have now talked about and have now shared with me, although many have still to, if they decided it is the right time to. They also bring joy and happy ness to us. We together make who we are.

 At the moment i am watching my 8 year old insider learn her times tables, i feel happy and proud of her. My 4 year old has learnt its safe to hold a friends hand, and she is learning her colours and watching her fave cartoons, they can do all the things we never could do. We have many toys and teddys, we go out we take a bag of toys with us on the back of our wheelchair.

 Its tiring being DID, i mean think if it this way. if you spent every day doing the things you enjoy and have to do everyday chores and work to, how tired do you get, now think if there more than one of you doing things you enjoy, yet only one body! its exsauhsting, but the joy over balences that. The happyness and joy they feel when they learn something new, it feels great.

 I see DID as a gift as with out it i trully beleive we would be dead, that we would not have survived our childhood.

It took me some time to get past the freaking out, to learn to acsept the others inside, to learn to let them have there time 'up' to do the things they want to.

I also learnt very quickly, that the best way to cope with DID is to enjoy the happyness and achivements we all make. share glow and grow together.

 We work as a team, i have insiders that do things i cant or i am afraid to do, so i let them do it. same as i do things they cant, together we tackle many obstercules. that alone i couldnt face or do.

When a friend gave us a toy, the first time we where able to acsept a presant, a toy for us, a doll with a horse and some play doh. we played with them so much, and then would hide them, so no one would take them away from us. when we crossed that hardle of fear together and learnt to acsept it was ok to have our toys, ok to acsept presants, that presants did not mean something bad was going to happen, that no one was going to take our toys away from us again, that was a huge goal and achivement we did together.

 With anything, DID has its ups and downs.

But it is a gift, because, again i will say it, and proudly say it. We would not be here if it was not for 'us'

Megan & All

Posted on: Fri, Sep 19 2008 9:46 PM

Posted by: Megan N All Posts: 3

george9t7:

So, where I'm at now is ......  Is there a connection between the borderline personality and the Disassociate Disorder?  I'm wondering and would like to chat with you about that.

I'm George. 

 Hi george,

I think there is a big diffrnce between BPD and DID, but with in saying that i do not know much about BPD.

I think the fact there is totally seprate personalitys, each with there own ages likes dislikes sex etc, they all are diffent yet share one body, the fact disosiastion is involved a lot, notjust in the past, hence the lack of memorie about what happened to us and having to re live it throw there memories, but alsow in the presant when others are up, i am not, so i am not aware of what they are doing all the time, i learn from seeing after, seeing there work, pictures drawings hearing from others. I feel them inside, i feel there feelings hear there thoughts as they do mine. You talk to some of us and we will tell you about our bedrooms inside where we hide some times or just go to sleep or play inside.

I think the discosiation is the biggist diffrence.

DID is a lot more comman than people realise, its just most people never learn to live with DID or never know, how would you know if your disosiating because someoen else is active?

Megan & All

I believe the biggest difference would be the fact that MPD is a condition that you have at any age, and at any point in life. Yet DID is something that becomes a part of you as a child and therefore you live as many for many years. You can not become DID as an adult, it is related to the past of a child and therefore, you can only be diagnosed as DID as adult or child, but Diagnosed as always being DID.. Where as MPD you may not have for most your life, and then you developed MPD.

Sarah

Posted on: Sat, Sep 20 2008 12:07 PM

Posted by: george9t7 Posts: 76

langkris:

(both the 2nd and the last are universalized to different degrees)

I enjoyed reading your take on BPD and therapy.  I guess they have to learn to feel and it's okay to feel.

george

Posted on: Sat, Sep 20 2008 12:15 PM

Posted by: george9t7 Posts: 76

Thanks, your answer is helpful to me.  Can i ask, what about being controlling if you are DID.  I've known a few of us...  no, they are not all inside me... lol 

The ones i've known were like the polar opposite of controlling and i'm now wondering about Boarderline being a control freak and the DID gets freaked at even trying to control people...  am i off on that one??  lol

george