Last post Sat, Aug 30 2008 11:52 AM by shellGVchick. 260 replies.
Yippeeee! Good job.
Hey... Where's everybody else in this place? Is our world so utterly joyless, that there's no humor to share???
Olivette<*pouting*>
My sister says in her second life, she is going to come back as a man. That way, she won't have to do anything!
Becky
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side enters a grocery store. He strolls to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager surveying the bizarre scene inquires,"Sir, may I help you with something?"
The blind man says, "Oh, no thanks. We're just looking around."
Here is a very silly joke my sister told me. What did zero say to eight? "I like your belt."
It took me a minute, but that joke always makes me laugh.
I'm having trouble inserting a video. How do you do that? HELP, please!!!!
WHY I WAS NEVER LATE FOR SCHOOL........
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Ok, I kind of got it. But what's with the extra box on top and the words?
Thanks,
Only clean jokes? Damn, that leaves me out, all I know are the nice dirty ones, HA! :)
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the bar out of control.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar, stuffs them into his face and eats them. Then he nabs a few sliced limes and swallows them whole, then he leaps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, stuffs it in his mouth, and to the bartenders horror manages to swallow it whole.
The bartender panics, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The oblivious fellow replies, "No, what?"
"He just swallowed a cue ball off my pool table...whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the fellow, "he eats everything in sight, the weird little devil. So sorry. I'll gladly pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill (including the stuff the monkey ate) then leaves with his wild little critter.
Two weeks later he's back in the bar again, along with the gluttonous monkey.
He orders a drink and the monkey proceeds to run loose again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it in his butt, pulls it out, and eats it flinging the empty stem. Then the monkey finds a peanut and sticks it in his butt, pulls it out, and quickly swallows it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Do you see what your monkey is doing this time?"
"Now what?" replies the guy.
"Well this time he stuck a maraschino cherry in his butt, and pulled it out to eat it! And then he did it again with a peanut!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me either." replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to crap out that cue ball, he measures everything first."
That was a good one, Olivette! LOL
THANK YOU FOR SHARING ! NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH THIS MORNING ! RAINEY XO
One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a Bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for Mom. She stashed the magazine until Dad got home, and showed it to him.
He looked at it shaking his head, and handed it back to her with out a word. So she encouraged, "What are we going to do about this?"
Dad looked bewildered, "I'm not really sure... but, I don't think we should spank him."
Good one, Olivette. I don't know if this one is true or not, but I'd like to think it is!
