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Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 1:27 PM

Posted by: beckywatson49 Posts: 480

 Aunt Sal

Sounds like your nephew is having a difficult time. In my experience with disabilities, Polio and Post Polio Syndrom for me, I have found that I listen better to people who have had the same experience. Maybe if you could contact your local hospital or Vets group and see if there is a support group of paralized men with someone who would be willing to talk to your nephew, maybe challenge him. We all have different pain and work through it in our own way, but someone(outside our family) who has been there before us might have a clearer, third person idea of how to deal with everyday life.

Personally I have found that my disabilities have taught me a lot of good lessons and skills that I have been able to use in everyday life. Please tell your nephew, from one who has learned, your mode of transportation, chair cane, brace, has nothing to do with you the person. You are as you were before the change. You still have the skills, talents, desires and possibilities that make you uniquely you.

I am a praying woman and will lift your entire family in prayer for comfort, support, understanding and healing.

Becky

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 1:47 PM

Posted by: TriDog Posts: 1,897

You guys are way too nice.  This guy needs a swift kick in the ass.  His dad had ajob for him but he wouldn't go.  His mother is fighting cancer and he made her cry in her birthday?    Time to kick him to the curb and make him grow up.  This is his life now. Time to face it.

Sally, as for housing for him. Contact the local housing authority.   Also, is he in Portsmouth New Hampshire?     

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 1:57 PM

Posted by: ShimasChild Posts: 248

TriDog:

You guys are way too nice.  This guy needs a swift kick in the ass.  His dad had ajob for him but he wouldn't go.  His mother is fighting cancer and he made her cry in her birthday?    Time to kick him to the curb and make him grow up.  This is his life now. Time to face it.

 

Sally, as for housing for him. Contact the local housing authority.   Also, is he in Portsmouth New Hampshire?     

 You know, as much as I hate to admit it, TriDog is right. (Just kidding dude, I love your posts!) This kid needs a swift kick in the arse whether or not he can feel it. To do that to his Mom, with what she has to deal with is just plain awful. Seems to me his parents have done alot for him, and he's not looking past his own selfish needs. My suggestion is a shrink. I agree he's still grieving about the loss of his legs, but man, there are hundreds of thousands of people who can't walk who don't abuse everyone around them like this.

 Sounds like he's a young adult to me, mid-twenties? Man, so much he CAN do! If he's willing to go to PT, how about wheelchair sports? He'd get out some of his anger, those guys are brutal! I wince everytime two wheelchairs collide. But I think the time of treating him with kid gloves is past. I wish you and the family all the best.

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 2:06 PM

Posted by: Wenwhit Posts: 2

Independent Living Centers offer peer support services that may assist either your

nephew, if he's open to it, ot his other family members to work through the questions and problems if your nephew is unwilling to participate, with a kind of, "what are my choices if this person continues to make these choices"  Go to ilru.org to find a list of centers by state.  (I'm thinking Portsmouth means NH, but maybe not.)

wenwhit.

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 2:47 PM

Posted by: Tom Posts: 44

I can only tell you about my own struggel. I was coming home from work when a car changed lanes in front of me. I had a brite white light in front and a flashing red light in back and no helmit. I got tanggeld up in the back bumper and dragged off the bike. I went to the hospital and after looking at me brefly they let me go with some low leval pain killers and antibiotics. I passed out wile making a phone call in the lobby. 9 months latter I woke up in the hosptal, disabled. I was mad at the world but I wanted to live. I struggeld with my feelings for a wile and got on with my life. I still struggleing but I am getting better. I am no longer angry and no ones going to do the work for me I will have to find my own way. Hope this helps you to heal. Tom

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 3:15 PM

Posted by: Christopher Hill Posts: 257

I can read and understand everybodies threads on this post.  What i am about to say is hard for me to write but i think it needs saying and if my situation, in the past, can help someone now, i would like to do that.

In 2002 i was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and other mental illnesses.  At the time i had just lived on the streets for 2 weeks and then secured a room in a hostel.  I was taken ill with an allergic reaction to prescribed medication and rushed into hospital.  As a result i lost my hostel place and on Christmas Eve 2002 my mum drove for 12hours to pick me up and bring me home.

By March 2003 i was still coming to terms with my condition and still had issues and wanted to kill myself.  At the end of March my parents asked me to leave there home.  This was probably the hardest and toughest thing they have ever done and the last thing, at the time, i wanted to hear.

As i was already ill, the council housed me for 10 days in a b&b.  At the end of the ten days i was offered and accepted a temporary flat providing i seeked professional help for my anger and illness.  To cut a long story short, i am now physically and mentally disabled but have a purpose built flat (which i have had for 20 months), i am building a new life for myself and have medical support and i have been through a course of counselling.

Don't get me wrong, it is not easy but sometime TOUGH LOVE is necessary and it is possible to start over and deal with what life throws at you.

I hope my comments help someone somewhere, Chris x

Posted on: Wed, Jul 9 2008 4:23 PM

Posted by: sandyfreytag Posts: 1,416

Thats right Chris, Tough Love is necessary sometimes even if it hurts the person that is doing it to the person who needs it. There is no need for him to take advantage of his parents like he does. That was a sad story you just told, Chris. Take Care Now, Sandy

Posted on: Thu, Jul 10 2008 12:38 PM

Posted by: Tom Posts: 44

Thanks Chris. Tom