Families

Hi, I'm Boo-Bear, and I have a Disabled parent. And I feel like I'm the only one in the world like that. My mom, she has Fibromyaliga, and she has a paralized lung.  So, are there any kids out there like me? Or am I the only one in the world, like how I feel?

 

Thanks for posting,

 

Boo-Bear

Hi, Boo-Bear. I'm a disabled parent, but my daughter's only 2 1/2 so I guess that doesn't help you much.  I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.  Lots of kids deal with parents with disabilities of varying types.  It's not easy for them (it's not easy for us either).  Just to let you know you can still come here and vent if you want, and just know you have a lot of understanding ears listening here.

Thank you Whitney!!!!!!

That really made me happy enough to say, "Thank you ~ and nice to meet you."

Boo Bear

Hey Boo-Bear, I too have children ages 7 and 2. It is interesting to watch my 7 year old grow up with a parent being in a wheelchair, me! She grew up pushing my wheelchair and now my 2 year old is starting to go behind me and push me around. She also likes to climb up in my wheelchair a wheel it around. I always worry that she may be teased at school, but it has never seemed to happen. i have discussed with her that some kids may, but for her to just take the opportunity to tell them all about it and how many fun things we do. I think she is very well adjusted, but she has a lot ahead of her. thanks for the post.

hello boo bear, welcome to disaboom.how old are you? i have a daughter who was 2 1/2 when i got hurt and had to be in a wheelchair. she doesn't remember me walking, so that is all that she knows. we had alot of fun and she would climb on my lap and wheel with me, go to the mall, concerts, play games, color do alot of things. you could look at it like you have a special mom because you do. it's nice to meet you, bye

Hey there Boo-Bear,

Just wanted to say that I think it's really cool you have the courage to post your feelings. You are definitely not alone and although a child with a disabled parent hasn't responded yet-they are certainly out there (as you've heard)! Right now our site is still growing so I'm not sure how many young people we have yet but it always helps to get different perspectives.

What types of things are hard for you because your mom has a disability?

~Kara

Hello, you are not the only child/teen/adult out there with disabled parent/s.  Recently I have been embracing and understanding the significance of my parents in my life.  My mom has spina bifida (and has many other chronic conditions because of that) and my dad is deaf/hard-of-hearing (has a hearing aid and lipreads though he has a 50+% hearing loss).  My life has definitely been impacted because of their disabilities: having closed captioning, only automatic vehicles, latex-free gloves and balloons, etc, etc, etc.  It's funny because my parent's disabilites are pretty much invisible to the general public, though they clearly are not. 

Best of luck with your idenity as a child of a parent/s with a disability/ies.  Hope you find others with whom you can connect. 

 I am the parent with a (the) disability; I thought you might like to read a story my daughter wrote for a class assignment.  Sit back this may be long, but it is worth  it.

Ariel xxxxxxx

Ms. xxxxxxxxx

English P.8

20 November 2006

 

My Dad Was Paralyzed?

 

             On May 10, 2002, I woke up in the morning and I began doing the usual routine for getting ready for school. I first changed my clothes then I began to do my hair in the bathroom. When I walked down the hallway I heard low voices mumbling in the living room. At first, I just ignored it because I was so concerned about how my hair was going to turn out; however, a few minutes later I heard crying. I walked in the kitchen and found my aunt hugging my mom. Something was wrong because my mom wasn’t at work and she looked as if she had been crying for hours. I asked her what was wrong, she said, “Your dad is in the hospital.” I felt like someone had just turned my brain off because I was in complete shock. Then I asked my mom why and what happened? She said, “He is paralyzed.” “Paralyzed!” I replied. At only nine years of age, I didn’t know what the word paralyzed meant. However, as confused as it all seemed, I just went along with it. I soon found out what paralyzed meant.

My dad worked as an underwater construction diver. One day, my dad went in the water for a normal diving job. After his dive was done and everything seemed fine, he came out of the water; he took three-steps and collapsed to the ground. He was paralyzed from the chest down. When breathing the air, while underwater, little air bubbles formed in my dad’s spine and pinched a very important nerve, the spinal cord.  Immediately, while still on the job-site, he went through many processes trying to help him, but he still ended up at the Long Beach Memorial Hospital.

When you hear the word hospital, what do you first think of? Some people think of shots others maybe check-ups but my memory is different. Four years ago, I remember running down a long hallway looking for a room number 176. When I got there, I had seen, felt and learned things which will never fade away from my memory.

My mom had asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital with her and my aunt Lola or if I wanted to go to school because it was the last day of the SAT’s testing week. Still shocked, I told her that I would go with her to the Long Beach Memorial Hospital. On our way to the hospital, it was quiet and sad. To me, this seemed as if it was all just a dream and I was hoping someone would wake me up, but when we got to the hospital it wasn’t a dream; it was a nightmare I could not wake up from. We walked in the hospital and made our way to the elevator to get to the seventh floor. Just as the doors opened, I saw my other two aunts and my uncle, standing there with tears in their eyes, waiting for us to arrive. Everyone came and hugged me saying that everything would be ok. Looking around, I felt lost and everything looked like a blur. All the adults knew what had happened; this made me feel even scarier because if they cried then I knew the word paralyzed wasn’t good.

Once I heard the words, “Room 176 down the hall,” I ran to the main entry doors waiting for the buzz to let us in. Running down the hallway seemed like it took forever but I found room 176. Looking into the room, I saw my dad in the hospital bed talking to a doctor. Nurses told me I had to wait until they were finished talking. For those three minutes, waiting seemed like hours. Just as they finished talking I ran in, I asked, “Daddy what happened to you,” He told me he did not know but he would try his best to pull through it.

While I was in the hospital, my aunt Lola explained everything to me, so that it would be easier for me to understand. It was a lot for me to take in all-at-once but I got through it. Lola told me to act strong because it would help my dad pull through it emotionally. While she told me this, I fought through all my tears with smiles and I kept telling myself that everything would be ok. Many people looked confused about how I could just sit there not cry or even really doing anything; by me doing this, I knew, it helped my mom because I would just keep smiling and comforting her.

After one-month in the hospital, my dad came home. This became hard for all of us; because of his job he was always gone and now that he came home he wasn’t the same. Everyday it got harder to see my dad struggling, frustrated, upset and tired. Never did he give up, so I tried my best to keep him happy and to do anything for him. Now it seemed so weird to have him home. At first, I didn’t like it, because I never knew my dad. I would just see him like once a month or every other weekend.

Although we all struggled, it taught me a lot about my dad and about life; how in just one moment you can lose almost everything and gain so much more. My dad and I learned about each other and I did get closer to him. We have had our good times and also our bad ones, but I still try to be there for both my mom and my dad to help them and I try to be their support system to pick up the little pieces they drop when they fall apart. 

 

 

Ariel