Families

 Hi:

I'm new here.  My wife is a few days away from giving birth to our first child.  I am in a wheelchair and a bit nervous about being a father.  Is there anyone out there that can give me advice?  I have all kinds of fears and thoughts running through my head.

Thanks 

Ernie

Hi Ernie,

 

Welcome to Disaboom.  Congratulations on your impending daddyhood!  There are many fathers here who I'm sure have advice for you.  I think everyone is nervous and fearful especially with the first-time parent experience.  Cherish every moment; your life is about to change forever.  I have an inkling that you'll be a terrific dad.  I wish you and your family all the best.  Take care.....Carol  

There is a site called Parents with Disabilities Online.  The site founder is a mom with CP.  It might be a really good resource in addition to Disaboom.

First off Ernie,  CONGRATS!!!!  Second:  You’re going to be fine.  It’s natural to have fears.  I have CP and use the chair from time to time.  I’m not a natural father, but as a foster dad, I have taken care of a bunch of infants.  Just be careful and make sure that you are stable before someone hands you the baby.   

 

 

Third:  Contrary to popular belief……  babies don’t bounce.

 

WELCOME AND CONGRAT'S !  A GIFT FROM GOD INDEED . THERE IS NOTHING ON THIS EARTH GREATER THEN BEING A PARENT , YOU WILL SEE ! I AM A MOTHER FOR TWO ADOPTED DAUGHTERS FROM INDIA , EVEN WITH POLIO NOTHING STOPPED ME FROM SHARING IN THERE LIVE. FROM A GIRL SCOUT LEADER TO SCOCCER MOM !!!!   PLEASE KEEP US POSTED ON THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR JOYFUL EVENT ! BEST WISHES TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ! MY BEST ADVICE IS TO LOVE , HUG AND KISS THAT BABY MILLION TIMES A DAY !!!!!!!                 RAINEY XO  

 Yay for babies!!  Congratz on your new daddy status.  It is the most wonderful, tiring, amazing and scary time in your life.  I just want you to know that your child will love you no matter what.  Your disability won't matter to them a bit because they don't know anything else.  Also, cut yourself some slack.  You will have to figure out the best way for you to care for your  new baby.  You will have to find ways for you that work to hold, feed and play with the baby.  Don't worry that its not like everyone else!

 

Enjoy your little one!

 

 Whitney

Ernie, Congratulations!  I'm so happy for you!  I'm a CP mother with two sons.  I wasn't in a wheelchair when they were born.  But now I am in a wheelchair, and still we're planning to have more children.  I just figure I'll have to figure new ways of doing things that other people haven't thought of.  But I know you and I can do it!  Scrappywheels figured it out, and lots of other parents, so I trust and follow their example.

 

One thing I was thinking to do is to get a baby sling, or a front pack, to hold the baby in, that way I can "carry" the baby and still push my wheelchair with the baby secure to me.  I used slings and baby backpacks with the first kids, (see picture of me slinging my babies on my website here:  http://www.blueginger.org/sling.html)  but I think a they'll be even more useful to me in a wheelchair because I can just strap the kid to my chest and they'll stay on my lap.

 

 I've also seen that they have wheelchair-accessible cribs, in which the door opens from the side, so those are cool if you use cribs.   Oh, and here's the link for Parents with Disabilities:  http://www.disabledparents.net/.  I agree that they'd be a great addition to Disaboom.  Here's their page showing adaptive parenting equipment: http://www.disabledparents.net/adaptive.html.

 

I don't think that too many other parts of parenting will be that different.  And Scrappy's right, the kids will love you completely, you are their dad, so they will think you are completely normal.  I love that about kids!  :-)   At first, when I started using a wheelchair, I used to think my kids would be jipped by not having a mother who could chase them and run with them, but now I realize that two things are true: 1) God sent kids to me who needed what I could provide, such as talking and listening and kind words, it appears I was not sent children  who needed me to do what I can't do; and 2) these kids are becoming such wonderful people by learning to grow with me as a mom, it almost seems as if they were intended to go through all of that in order to become the best adults that they could become, and they think it's all normal, too!  

 

I'm sure that the person who is your new little baby is someone that God specially picked because that person needs what YOU can provide as the Daddy.  :-)  And I know that you can provide a lot. 

 

Oh, and another thing I've noticed.... something magical happens to Dads the day their baby is born.  I wouldn't be surprised if it's not a literal chemical change, but Dads somehow are just as close to the baby emotionally as the moms are.  It's wonderful.  I can't wait until you get to experience that wonderful love for your new child. 

 

And I can't wait until God sends me another!  :-)

Hi Ernie........welcome to disaboom.........Congrats on the coming birth of your very first child........I can't say it better than Brooke........all the exciting wonderful things you're in for.......so I won't try........just believe her.......she speaks truth !............enjoy your new son/daughter........for all you're worth !...........peace and love......Norma