Last post Fri, May 02 2008 10:21 PM by aniamalover. 39 replies.
Would someone who doesn't have visible disabilities contact me please? I have herniated disks of the lower lumbar and cervical spine along with degenerative arthritis of the spine. I have a difficult time with explanations as to why I'm not working outside my home.
hi. welcome to disaboom, it's nice to meet you. there is a forum on backpain, chronic pain ect... do you know how to look them up? if not let me know ok? i hope you aren't hurting too bad today
ChattanoogaRox: Would someone who doesn't have visible disabilities contact me please? I have herniated disks of the lower lumbar and cervical spine along with degenerative arthritis of the spine. I have a difficult time with explanations as to why I'm not working outside my home.
Hi Rox -
I use to say to those type people that not all physical disabilities are external. Hope this helps.
Rob
Hi Rox,
First, welcome to Disaboom!
Second, it really stinks when some folks "expect" to see some preconceived "external visible signs" before they call us "disabled." It also stinks that if the person doing the questioning has any doubts, just let them trade places with us for a month. After that one month trial period if they say "You're right! You really are disabled." then we will tell them that the body change process is only one way.
Hang around, we are here and we will listen. My best to you for 2008!
Dave
Dave -
Doncha just luv the sensitivity of some. I was riding on an electric scooter at a WalMart store when a person says to me, "that's the way to get around and you get great parking spaces too."
I didn't say a word. Why? Idiots just won't get it.
I totally understand. To see me sitting in a chair, there is nothing wrong with me. I too have your probs, I also have DJD, 3 forms of arthritis, the herniated disks in lower back and neck, and the list goes on. I am new to the site so sorry for taking so long to respond. Good luck in dealing with people. Sometimes they are worse than the illness.
ChattanoogaRox:Would someone who doesn't have visible disabilities contact me please? I have herniated disks of the lower lumbar and cervical spine along with degenerative arthritis of the spine. I have a difficult time with explanations as to why I'm not working outside my home.
Hi Chattanooga
Welcome to Disaboom! I too have a very similar condition that you have but it's advanced to the point where I use crutches all the time and wheelchair for long hauls
Joe
One of my doctors said to me "you have what we call in the Medical Profession A Bad Back! "
Looking at me you can't tell except when the nerves in my spine get crushed a bit and I start walking like John Wayne or a Drunken Sailor. I certainly understand about the comments. Many say ' Oh I know someone with the same back problems and they don't have any trouble or I know a good doctor that can help you." Sometimes that bums me out but I'm still disabled.
Other times when I get out of the scooter they say 'OH YOU CAN WALK?' I feel like I'm not disabled enough for them.
No explanations should be necessary it's my pain and limitations I have to deal with every day not theirs.
When I ride my scooter I get all kinds of comments. I find out that able bodied people just don't know what to say to me or the disabled. I don''t think they want to be mean or insensitive. They say stuff like 'Wow I sure need that scooter' or 'give me a ride' Mostly they comment how cool looking my scooter is. That opens the door to talk about disabilities with them. Sometimes I talk about the handicapped cartoons I do. It seems to put them at ease.
I joked that I was going to start walking around in a full torso cast with dripping blood so they'll believe me: herniated discs in neck and back (pushing into the spinal cord) ... walking some days, not moving on others, and hobbling on a cane part of the time.
The pain? Sometimes I'm physically ill from it. Other times I'm ill from the meds. And both the pain and the meds affect my mental functioning.
Yeah, I actually had to make a point to cut some of those people out of my life.
- "How come you were walking last month?"
- "Hmmm, I think your back problems are psychosomatic -- you just need to lower your stress."
- "I think you're just afraid to face life and get back to work ..."
Until I did that, I'd just get stressed out from the negative energy around me. Now, I tell them how I feel -- straight out. And if they still don't get it, I distance myself from them for my own survival. "Yes, stress does make it worse -- and you're stressing me out!"
Good luck!!!!
hello yolopez and weloome to disaboom. i believe you and i think that's great what you are doing. you know who you are and that is all that matters. if you are honest with them and they are not believing you it is their problem. i also believe in being around positive energy, you don't need the added stress. good luck.
I got out of my car the other day after parking in my handicapped space, and I had a lady approach me and tell me that I was abusing the handicap pass. She thought I stole it from my grandma or something. MAN, did I give her a piece of my mind, and a lot disability education while I was at it. I understand her thinking because I am only 23 and have MS which is invisible, but some people just have a pre-concieved notion of what disability is. That is what we here at DISABOOM are trying to change!
I too had simular problems with my back. People told me it was all in my head, I got all of the same looks you all describe , when I parked in a handicap spot or rode the electric cart at the local wal-mart,So as the ol male ego kicks in ,I go back to work, 3 months later im having my 1st. surgery, now 4 back surgeries later im now walking with the aid of a walker. Now when I park or ride I dont here those comments ,so screw those people who dont understand and just grin and go forth.
Daniel: I got out of my car the other day after parking in my handicapped space, and I had a lady approach me and tell me that I was abusing the handicap pass. She thought I stole it from my grandma or something. MAN, did I give her a piece of my mind, and a lot disability education while I was at it. I understand her thinking because I am only 23 and have MS which is invisible, but some people just have a pre-concieved notion of what disability is. That is what we here at DISABOOM are trying to change!
"Important events are obscure. Some believe all manner of hearsay evidence; others twist truth into fiction; and time magnifies both perversions."Tacitus
hello borntogo, it's nice to meet you and welcome to disaboom!
I can identify with your symptoms and all that goes with it. I love your reply. "Yes, stress does make it worse -- and you're stressing me out!" I wish I could think that fast. I don't have trouble with strangers. I look people straight in the eye, smile and say hi as I ride in the store's scooter. The person who annoys me the most is my own sister! She graciously bought a ticket for me to come visit her for 3 weeks. I slept like a baby in their RV, had no children or grandchildren to watch, and there was ultimately no stress. I had to promise I'd "work" off the cost of the ticket since her husband was such a stickler about people paying their own way. Well, I helped sew on a machine for a couple hours in her slipcover and drapery business, did light house cleaning, put together a buffet for a party they were having, and rode a lawn mower around in circles to help get things ready. All these things didn't happen on one day. They were spread out over the 3 weeks. I sat during the times I helped her with the work. Well, honey, you wouldn't believe the nasty email I got from her saying I could work, that we are all disabled in some way, etc., etc.! I wrote back that I truly enjoyed the vacation, everything was lovely, but I expressed myself and said things I probably shouldn't. We didn't speak for 3 or more years. We're back on speaking terms but I have no desire to see her or her husband. They have each expressed their distaste (over the situation) in an underhanded manner. My brother died last Sept. The family is going to S.C. to do a memorial for him. I can't go during the week because I have to watch my grandkids. Moreso I don't want to go, but my other brother offered to fly here, rent a car, drive me there, and bring me home. I'd like to see my brother and be there for him but I don't want to see my sister and brother-in-law. I know she'll push my buttons and I'll blow up. Lord, now what do I do? Any suggestions?
