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So you want to be best friend that you can but don't know how best to relate or interact with your buddy who has a disability--this is the place to talk about it.
Posted on: Mon, Jan 7 2008 10:30 PM
Posted by: cents Posts: 1
Here is my finsight on the subject of dating.... I stumbled upon this website while looking for a wallet on the internet for a friend.... I saw a photo of a pretty nice looking guy in a wheel chair with some great shades on.... looked like Tommy Lee for goodness sakes.... and I remembered trying to talk to this guy at an art gallery that was in a wheel chair.... he barely gave me the time of day.... so I finally asked the guy that was with him, what was up with his friend.... he mentioned, well, he may have thought you were just trying to be nice.... I thought, NOOOOO, I thought he was pretty cool, and yet could get barely a name out of him...
So I wonder, if I looked past the chair. Why couldn't he look around his wall. With the greed, the technology that has passed humanity, Chivalry being dead...I believe in looking past things..........
Where are you guys.............. most women are looking for good friends, nice guys, nice girlfriends... an extra pair of wheels or a prosthetic piece shouldn't hold you back from talking to us.............
Again, just my two cents.
Posted on: Mon, Jan 7 2008 11:39 PM
Posted by: Lily -- Disaboom Customer Service Posts: 423
TO DISABOOM.COM
Hi Cents! We're glad to have you join the community!
The discussion forums are a great place to put in your "two cents" -- let us know what you're thinking!
And don't forget to stop by the chat room while you're visiting the site. The community launched just a couple of months ago and we're growing like crazy, so there's always new people popping in every day.
On a personal note about your post: I've found that people who have been hurt in the past can be a little hesitant to get too close because they've lost some of their trust in others. But I think the majority of people, from all walks of life, want to make friends. With some it just takes more time to break through their protective shield. Just keep on, keepin' on!
Lily265
Customer Service
Disaboom / Lovebyrd
Email: custserv@disaboom.com
Posted on: Tue, Jan 8 2008 1:13 AM
Posted by: Whitney Posts: 679
I agree with Lily and you also have to take into account differing personalities. I don't mind being approached by perfect strangers who just want to be friendly, but there are others out there, chair or no, that are not the same way. My hubby, for example, is suspicious of anyone he doesn't know well trying to talk to him.
We're out there. Sounds like you just happen to run into a shy one.
P.S. The only time I thought someone was trying to be 'nice' to me was when a lady who was ringing up a meal tab for me asked me if I wanted a cookie in the same tone of voice I use to talk to dogs. Hmmm.
Posted on: Sun, Jan 13 2008 11:22 AM
Posted by: Kara Posts: 2,278
Cents,
WELCOME! I'm glad you dropped in to spark up some good conversation and I hope you'll join in on more of the fun around here...As a wheelchair user myself, I have a few thoughts on the story you shared. Beyond that of course you can't judge an entire group of people by one that you met, I do think there's something interesting in your choice of behavior during the interaction. By speaking to the man's friend about him-you inadvertantly did what happens to us ALL THE TIME....so any chances you had of the guy making small talk with you were probably nixed with that. I'm sure it wasn't your intention, but many people assume that it's best to get answers to questions ABOUT US from someone else...it's insulting and sends a message like we're not capable of speaking for ourselves.
Last-people with disabilities are probably the most diverse minority group there is! The individual you met had just as much right to be withdrawn, thinking about something else, married/taken (and interpreted your behavior as flirting), etc. than a guy not in a wheelchair.....I'm not suggesting you don't already know this but sometimes people forget. They assume that a cranky person they meet who is in a wheelchair must be mad because they have a disability....People don't think that we could be having a bad day for the same reasons as anyone else.
Posted on: Sun, Jan 13 2008 9:51 PM
Posted by: Wheelin Rev Posts: 837
Welcome to Disaboom. As for your observation, that should make for a good discussion. I too am a chair user. Lets see where the thread goes. Enjoy and look forward to seeing you on Disaboom. Dave
Posted on: Mon, Jan 14 2008 7:15 PM
Posted by: peter98362 Posts: 60
Isn't amazing how dating webpages that suspose to be for disabled insist charging to send email messages to contacts that contact you? Virtualdating is such one, they charge you about $16 bucks just for the pervialage to answer a message you get from a member. I mean really how many people with disabilites have money to throw around like that?
It should be free to answer a contact that writes you, dont you think?
Not many people with disabilites are well off.
Posted on: Thu, Feb 7 2008 7:59 AM
Posted by: timm Posts: 37
Morning...in my life dating was never an issue, attracting "ladies" was easy because what is the best trait for attraction is humor, and self confident.
So once your ok with your self, then the people will flock in droves!
The big part of dating for "us" is dating stable people that are not out to "rescue" or take car of "us"
My wife and I where best friends for 9 years, we watched each other date, and break up tons of times before we looked at each other and said "what are we doing" The best things where looking right at each of us.
10 years later I love this woman more then life it self!
Happy Dating!
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Posted on: Tue, Mar 25 2008 11:49 AM
Posted by: mike43 Posts: 23
hi cents
I am a guy who is looking for a nice young lady to date, but I am shy, not very safisticated. Just down to earth kink of guy withCP
I am willing to start dating. just waiting for that someone special. until then I am trying to establish as many social outlets as I can.
mike43
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