Last post Fri, Jul 18 2008 9:26 PM by devorella. 30 replies.
Calvary greetings in the name of God, its my pleasure checking out your profile this morning and dropping a message for you, I am new here and i'm a God fearing man seeking for someone to share about life with. I will advise you check out my profile also, if interested, feel free to contact me at my personal email handycolt@yahoo.com tell me more of you and also share some pictures of yourself with me there. God bless.
i can't speak for anyone but myself, but being in a wheelchair, I get approached constantly by people when I'm in public, and i've had to become very cautious in my interactions. most ppl want to either find out the gory details of chair life or say something about the inspirational moment you caused them to have at the grocery store. so maybe this fella in "great shades" was trying to avoid that kind of interaction. I know I would, and it doesn't mean I have some "wall" up to keep everyone out, just some of them. heh.
I totally agree with timm, that attraction comes with self confidence, humor, and personal authority once you develop that (guys) women will come in droves. I no longer approach women, I try to behave in a way that they come to me. By being sort of the "class clown" if they dont come around, no sweat, I do what Im doing regardless.
I try not to worry so much what other people think about me anymore, but thats easier said then done at times.
Im still a work in progress I still fight loosing weight, been a long time since I been skinny. But again, a work in progress. Women seem to like the naughty boy type of guy, oh some will probably deny it, but deep down, they always seem to be drawn to those type of guys dont you ladies
As for your sustutation by not talking directly to that guy but to his friend, it was like treating him like a coat rack or something. We all been there, people talk at you not to you.
Best thing to do is learn from that, and when the opportunity arises for you to meet someone else in that setting you'll know better than talking over someone to someone else while the subject your talking about is sitting right there! He can speak for his self
peter98362: Women seem to like the naughty boy type of guy, oh some will probably deny it, but deep down, they always seem to be drawn to those type of guys dont you ladies
Women seem to like the naughty boy type of guy, oh some will probably deny it, but deep down, they always seem to be drawn to those type of guys dont you ladies
I have friends who are definitely drawn to the naughty boy types but I honestly am not! Now don't get me wrong, I don't want a milk toast guy either. The strong "alpha male" types definitely get my attention.
Naughty Boy..Naughty Girl, sorry that's a bunch of crap...
People want what they cant have but if your looking for long term, and trust, Bad Girl, Bad Boy last months if at that!
True love last years and hopefull a life time.
Being disabled opens a whole other door, if people are wanting to date us based on a need to "take care",
nature, or just want to date us cause we get close parking at Disneyland!
Know yourself and be comfortable with your disablity and its limits and the world will follow!
devorella: peter98362: Women seem to like the naughty boy type of guy, oh some will probably deny it, but deep down, they always seem to be drawn to those type of guys dont you ladies I have friends who are definitely drawn to the naughty boy types but I honestly am not! Now don't get me wrong, I don't want a milk toast guy either. The strong "alpha male" types definitely get my attention.
Meh. Honestly, I never have been. I'm a geek lover through and through. The bad boy seemed like too much emotional work and I never attracted that type anyway. Heck, I didn't date enough to make wasting time on them worth it.
Whitney
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young kids. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem.
Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything.
We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it.
Before a person can overcome self-esteem problems and build healthy self-esteem, it helps to know what might cause those problems in the first place. Two things in particular — how others see or treat us and how we see ourselves — can have a big impact on our self-esteem.
Parents, teachers, and other authority figures influence the ideas we develop about ourselves — particularly when we are little kids. If parents spend more time criticizing than praising a child, it can be harder for a kid to develop good self-esteem. Because teens are still forming their own values and beliefs, it's easy to build self-image around what a parent, coach, or other person says.
Obviously, self-esteem can be damaged when someone whose acceptance is important (like a parent or teacher) constantly puts you down. But criticism doesn't have to come from other people. Like Steve in the story above, some teens also have an "inner critic," a voice inside that seems to find fault with everything they do. And, like Steve, people sometimes unintentionally model their inner voice after a critical parent or someone else whose opinion is important to them.
Over time, listening to a negative inner voice can harm a person's self-esteem just as much as if the criticism were coming from another person. Some people get so used to their inner critic being there that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down.
How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they are likable and lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better relationships. They are more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest. With a little self confidence and a cool personality you should be able to attract attention from the oppisite sex with no problem.
scrappywheels: devorella: peter98362: Women seem to like the naughty boy type of guy, oh some will probably deny it, but deep down, they always seem to be drawn to those type of guys dont you ladies I have friends who are definitely drawn to the naughty boy types but I honestly am not! Now don't get me wrong, I don't want a milk toast guy either. The strong "alpha male" types definitely get my attention. Meh. Honestly, I never have been. I'm a geek lover through and through. The bad boy seemed like too much emotional work and I never attracted that type anyway. Heck, I didn't date enough to make wasting time on them worth it. Whitney
See I kinda love a geek too. "Ohh talk computer hardware and videogames to me baby!". I'm serious, I actually love that stuff. But the guy I'm seeing right now is a geek with tools! So not only is he handy with a laptop, he can also fix things around the house!
WE ARE SO HARD ON OURSELVES THAT WE CAN'T HAVE FUN.LIGHT'N UP ON YOURSELFS. I WANT THE PREFECT LADY TO. BUT WHAT IS PERFECT.WHATS PERFECT TO ME MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU LIKE. IT'S NOT EASY BEING ALONE AND YOU SEE OTHER PEOPLE IN LOVE ,KISSING,AND HOLDING HANDS.YOU GOT TO BE FRIENDS FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING.SOMETIMES SHE OR HE MIGHT BE RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU KEEP LOOKING AT THOSE FAKE GIRLS ON TV.
scrappywheels: I'm a geek lover through and through. Whitney
I'm a geek lover through and through.
High five, Whitney & Devorella--I'm with y'all!
Helen
WELCOME TO DISBOOM A GREAT SITE ! PLEASE JOIN US IN THE CHAT ROOM AND MAKE SOME FRIENDS ! SHARE A LAUGH ~~~~~~~~~`RAINEY
I agree with Bonnie: everyone is different. You never know who is going to welcome be approached, and who isn't. Dating -- especially meeting and greeting -- is hard.
cents: I remembered trying to talk to this guy at an art gallery that was in a wheel chair.... he barely gave me the time of day.... so I finally asked the guy that was with him, what was up with his friend.... he mentioned, well, he may have thought you were just trying to be nice.... I thought, NOOOOO, I thought he was pretty cool, and yet could get barely a name out of him... So I wonder, if I looked past the chair. Why couldn't he look around his wall. Where are you guys.............. most women are looking for good friends, nice guys, nice girlfriends... an extra pair of wheels or a prosthetic piece shouldn't hold you back from talking to us.............
I remembered trying to talk to this guy at an art gallery that was in a wheel chair.... he barely gave me the time of day.... so I finally asked the guy that was with him, what was up with his friend.... he mentioned, well, he may have thought you were just trying to be nice.... I thought, NOOOOO, I thought he was pretty cool, and yet could get barely a name out of him...
So I wonder, if I looked past the chair. Why couldn't he look around his wall. Where are you guys.............. most women are looking for good friends, nice guys, nice girlfriends... an extra pair of wheels or a prosthetic piece shouldn't hold you back from talking to us.............
Perhaps I overlooked it but I think the one thing I didn't notice anyone suggesting was perhaps the poster simply wasn't the cute guy's type. I'm not implying that she was in any way unattractive, it's just that sometimes the spark ain't there!
