Last post Thu, Jun 12 2008 6:09 PM by Anonymous. 30 replies.
I just wanted to say I respect you for dealing with FMS and also raising a girl. I know I only had to do a bit when I have my niece for the week or weekend sometimes. And she knows I walk with a cane and still she takes it out of me. But also I would do anything for her no matter how much it hurt. Like this summer I went swiming in a wave pool with her because she wanted to so much and I took a bunch of meds and I could do it and also I was in a lot better shape.
Traci I understand, my ex wife was the same way. I am never sure if it was the fact she got sick of the doctors doing nothing for me at first that is why she left. Or that I was not working and making us money her first and true love.
But so respect you for doing what you do with your family and love,
wisteel (Bradley)
Traci-
Your husband could be going through his own grief process. He might be in denial or anger at this point. I have been married for almost 7 years. My husband had no idea how my pain level affected me because I always toughed it out. We met through a dating service so he kids me about not completing the disclosure clause. Of course, he ended up retiring at 42 due to a back injury he recieved when he was a paratrooper. So, we make quite a pair. A little perspective might be needed for your hubby. You may be in pain but you are a supportive mom and you do all that you can for your daughter. There are so many illnesses and traumas out there that could prohibit you from doing that. Maybe making a list of all of the things you do for him and your family will help him see what you can do. It's not about the employment. My husband can't work and it has taken him over a year to get used to that. So he does volunteer at my daughter's school and at our church- when he feels up to it. He gets up 2-6 times a night with his pain so he is too sleep deprived to work. The balance is that he is home to get my daughter off to school and greets her when she comes home. I showed him the salary quote for a "stay-at-home parent" on salary.com. It's estimated at $80,000. Add the savings of no day care and you can add another $8,000. Add his vet benefits in and he is a rock star! We are so quick to put a dollar value on everything. But that salary.com quote sure helped him get things in perspective. Hang in there! I am doing a gratitude journal at night- I know, it was on Oprah, but it really does help your perspective on things. I write down all of the blessings and good that occurred during my day. You might want to give it a try - and the hubby can write a gratitude journal too!
Laura
It's been hard for me because no one near me -- family and friends alike -- seem to understand the kind of pain I constantly feel. So I can sympathize Traci.
It's a long, difficult process for people to grasp what's different about you, that's all. Time is what you need to spend with him.
hi im lorraine.i have this fm for 21 years i know exactly how you feel.please reply an i will talk to you about anything you want to know about it.i was told id arthritis for all them years.i was then told 2 weks ago that its fm.gentle hugs to you.xxxxxxxxx
hi im lorraine .i also have this fm.i used freeze spray an i find it takes the burning sensation away.plus eases the pain a bit.im alo on gabapentin which i find a bit of relief with.
Here is a website with info that may help you and your loved ones. It's aboat hidden disabilities. People often say I look fine and don't believe me. So I isolate and speak with hardly anyone. Probably better to educate your loved ones
http://www.myida.org/pubs.htm
hello i am 34 yrs old just and was diagnoised with fibro 0ct o6, ,i sound like your daughter as i am very private ,mainly as i dont want my mum to worry about me and have always been aprivate person. i take antidepressants to help me cope even though i hate pills i take amatripline, at night and tramadol x2 with x2 paracetamol together in the day for pain, this is not working any more im so fatigued and live in bed mostly,my sister is a great help she does my housework, unfortunatly there is no cure so if insurance is no good over the counter pain killers may help you can get strong ones these days and take the paracetamol with them,i take multivitamins every day as well as vitamin b complex ,fish oil , folic acid, minerals, etc.i am trying wheat grass as well which boasts some health miracles but i have not been taking it regular enough or long enough to notice a difference.maybe if you arrange to do something that your daughter will like with her but keep it open so she can call you on a day she feels well enough to go and keep reminding her of it.eg my sister took me to a local donkey sanctuary as i love animals and they had picnic tables so i could sit down and my sister offered to make a packed lunch for me which was great, my e mail is ladywilliams73@hotmail.co.uk if you want to talk or ask me more nice to talk about fibro angela
Hi Flowergirl,
Please be careful with the Zanaflex. My gastro doc just pulled me off of it because it has a high effect on the liver. My liver enzimes are out of wack and he thinks it may be due to the Zanaflex. I will be retested in six months to see if stopping it has helped. I hope so next is a biopsy.
Have a good day.
Diane
Hi, i've just read your post and oh my gawd! i sooo know what you mean! i'm on my 3rd relationship happily married thankfully, but i must admit my hubby does take the mick! what with medication i take and we've onlt been together 2 and a half years and i have had flare ups a few times in that period i was really rough when we got married! what with the stress and it was the winter that wasnt a good choice of season to get married in! lol If he's not listening will he go to a support group with you, if there is one where you are, or down load info of the net and make him read it! other wise i must amit i did the emotional thing and cried alot! and got v angry! he listens now! i also real off info about fms when hes talking to me about something and i include it in the conversation that way he has no choice but to listen! hope that helps traci.
HI I'm Aleksandra Andonocvska from Macedonija Skopje. I had been heard since i had two mounts like a baiby. I had had a big temperature. Than the doctors put on mu right leg alkohol. from that my leg was berrned. than thau put injection on my leg but in the wrong please. So my right leg is lower than the left and that muscul is not veru stron like on the other leg.
So i can't go alone very good. Butt what can I do?
Evrey day I turn on my DVD and I excersised with Sindy Craford.
I had a boyfriend. every day I see him and we go in some cafee.
You must be strong. If you have a big desire on yourself you vill be forget on your ilnesiss. Nobady is helt. You mus belive in yourselv and tel yourself that you can live like the other people.
Sometimes making loved ones understand all the reasons why you can't do as much stuff as you once did is the worst part. I just got accused of not wanting to do anything my wife wants to do because I didn't feel good for a couple of weeks. I felt a little better today and thought we could go see my sister and celebrate st. Patricks day early with them. She demanded to know why I didn't want to go anywhere when she asked for two weeks. I felt so bad. I think people without fibro want to understand, say they understand but most of the time don't.
Traci, I to am haveing prolem getting my family to understand, thou theres this sight
FIBROCENTER.COM that gives the history and science of fibro just for a few thinga but this is
what I started my family on Plus I get them on here to read what is going on in the comunity
they won't respond but they have been visiting just for them to read that others do have alot of the
problems as we do makes it easier because we all sapport one another and give our stories without
judgment, almost any questions you may have can be answered even if your not even sure of the question
Many you all find your way through this, we as a family here will sapport you as.
hi, i'm 42 very happily married and i suffer from fibro, arthritus,COPD,and problems with my feet. i was first formally diagnosed with fibro in 2002, but i suspected that i had it for quite a while before that. my illness also caused alot of trouble with my marriage. Richard and i were married on Nov. 2003. he knew that i had some mild health problems, but neither of us knew the extent of how bad things were about to get. i had two shoulder surgeries in two years. the result of twenty years as a hairstylist. then the pain i had been experiencing for the past few years (treating with aleave) and not really thinking much of it, suddenly became a horrible unbarable pain all over my body. i went to doctor after doctor.none would treatm fo what i knew to be fibro. some treated me as if i was drug seeking otherd as if i was jis makeing it up. meanwhile my loveing kind gentle husband became angry, frustrated,grouchyand short tempered. he complained because i couldn't do any housework or cook he would get angry if i had to go in for a pain shot and even for routine doc appts.this really put a strain on our otherwise wonderful relationship.
then i found Jennifer. she is my current doctor. she took time with both Richard and me to really explain how fibro works, and trying different meds untill we got the right combination.(20mg methadone every 6 hours and morphinefor breakthrough pain) Jennifer is great. any time i need anything all i have to do is call and she is right there. and as far as my husband.it took a while but he totally understands now about my disease, and he is very caring and loveing.it just takes time. time for them to adjust to liveing differently.you just have to show them love and support untill they learn that this is a disease just like diabetes and you need to adjust to living a littlt diferently
traci i will k eep you in my prayers and just know that God worls all thins together for good
