Last post Mon, May 19 2008 11:39 PM by ducky01. 39 replies.
Well said Kara!!
Thanks Orbit! Hope you had a nice weekend
KaraSwims:I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
i never even thought of that! i mean, it's always annoyed me, but i never thought of it as "my space" and i don't know why....it's clearly my space! that, and when you're in a conversation with 3 other people, and the other two are speaking above your head....quietly...and then look down for your input, but you haven't heard a damn thing they just said!
if they could wait for me Ask for help to if i need help before helping!!
DisabledRIder: i wish able bodied people would Speak clearly and normallyt to me I will ask them to repeat what they said if i don't get it .
i wish able bodied people would Speak clearly and normallyt to me I will ask them to repeat what they said if i don't get it .
....clearly and normally....not loud and s-l-o-w! i'm not deaf or stupid, and i don't have all minute for you to condescend to me!
THANK YOU for adding this!!! I was wondering and assuming no one would add anything related to those who are d/Deaf or HOH. My dad doesn't like it when people change their sentence each time he asks for them to repeat it. Other things:
1--Be polite, open a door if it looks like someone will need it (someone holding things, someone using crutches, or etc)
2--Don't yell, be too quiet, speak too slowly, or speak too quickly (some may need you to slow down a little, but don't treat them like a child or a dog)
3--Don't eat, chew gum, mumble, or over-enunciate (this is rude for someone who depends on reading lips, its even more difficult with someone who has braces, orthodontics, a lisp, accent, or speach issue, so please don't make it more difficult)
4--Be patient (some people require more time to do something, ie talk, eat, etc)
5--Be flexible (be willing to do something different or be willing to do it at a different time)
Remember: it's not their fault. And above all: CARRY A SENSE OF HUMOR AND SMILE!!! :D
I have to ditto respect goes a long way!
I am not big on political correctness BUT language and the way refer to people does affect our attitudes. So my preference is to use people first language. The person comes first, the disability is last.
Please do not refer to me as the disabled person; I am not handicapped; I am not my disability: I am a person ....... who has red hair, green eyes, is middle age, is married, has a job, a family, a home, two dogs, and ..... a disability.
Keep the person in the forefront of your interactions and all else will fall in place.
If you are doing/not doing something that would make the interaction more comfortable for the person with a disability (PWD), it is the PWDs responsibility to let you know - just as in any interaction with a person without a disability (TAB - temporarily able bodied).
I do not believe there are special "rules" or guidelines, just common respect and common sense.
One tip I've not seen is to not touch somebody else's wheelchair unless given permission to do just that. My legs just happen to be round and I was always VERY uncomfortable with people touching my legs in public or private when I was AB, unless of course, it happened to be one of those romantic moments with my wife. I also hated it when people leaned on my shoulder while talking to me. Do I really look like a support post? NOT !
I've had people sit in my chair without asking (never, never sit in somebody's chair; would you try on somebody prosthetic legs?), had people sitting behind me "tap" their shoe on my anti-tipper bars whereby sending vibrations through my chair to me , lean on my chair's push handle while talking to me , oh how the list goes on.
I do make it a point to not be rude or nasty in my reply to the "offender" because to be rude or nasty, that just further stereotypes us wheeler folks as bad attitude rolling balls of hatred mad at the world. Rather, I approach the topic gently, try not to embarrash the person or get the person upset, etc. If possible, I try to at least get a chuckle to show that I take it all in stride and still value their friendship.
Sooooo... what do I do when a Christmas shopper, loaded with packages from extended arms to just under the chin giving support, but completely blind to the "belly button level" of my head in public, that dump everything in to my lap? LOL (fortunately, that has only happened once and I do my best to avoid the shopping centers from "Black Friday" through mid-January of the next year. I value my life by staying alive. Shop early, finish early and enjoy your time watching the grandkids while the wife and daughter are out enjoying their adrenaline rush! LOL
Dave
KaraSwims: I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
YES. That is the most irritating thing. There is no surer way to make someone feel insignificant. Same thing goes for people who push past me without looking, or step over my feet (I use a chair).
Be patient. The person might move or speak or react more slowly than you. Don't put pressure on him/her to keep up. If the person is in a chair don't randomly decide that they're going too slowly and start pushing them.
Try to be at his/her eye level if you plan to talk with him/her for an extended period.
Dear Kara,
I am sorry,that cracked me up? Hey there up there, can you please not hold your coffee over my head
the fact that this has to be a concern in your life.....
People are dumbasses. I suggest you pretend like you dont see them and be like us southerners and be very expressive with hands. WIndmill effect
that is just me
Your space should be respected. .
I am not disabled, but I am in love with a man who is a C5 complete quadriplegic. Here is what I would like to tell the people I watch interact with him on a daily basis.
1. He has a personal bubble just like everyone else, get out of his face.
2. It is not his responsibility to make you feel comfortable with his disability, he's a guy who can't walk - deal with it.
3. Do not address me with a question for him, he can hear, speak, and is actually very intelligent.
4. Do not be offended if, when you offer to help, he says no, he's been dealing with this a long time, he'll ask for help if he needs it.
5. He is not the "go to" guy for finding out the politically correct way to deal with people who are disabled, he knows about his situation, and his feelings, he cannot speak for everyone dealing with a disability.
6. Don't shoot me a dirty look when we are walking up a ramp and I am not pushing, I refer you to number 4 above, when he asks for help I provide it.
I'm sure I'll come up with more...
This is cracking me up....I have two artificial legs and I wear shorts a lot out in public. Some of the things I have noticed people doing just floor me sometimes. I usually get the stares or the kids saying mommy whats that guy got on his legs etc... now days its not so bad because people are more used to seeing someone with a disability on the streets in public,but for many years I would never wear shorts for that very reason. Now that I'm older and dont care what people think I wish I had worn shorts before. I still get the people that talk louder when they see my prosthesis or treat me like I am a mental patient...sometimes I do things to humor myself when that happens like slobber a little bit or something to make them uncomfortable...is this wrong?
Crazylegs I have no idea if it is wrong, but it made me laugh out loud!
Hi everyone,
I think it really depends on the individual. I am usually an easy going person, kinda shy at first, because when I first meet someone disabled or not I try to understand their personality and the likes and dislikes etc. I think the same is true with people with disabilities, just treat them like human beings worthy of respect. treat them the way you want to be treated.
mike43
no patronizing.
and don't constantly correct yourself if you use 'walking' in a sentence referring to me, it's a figure of speech and not something that makes me cry inside when I hear it. it's weirder if you say something like "roll this way", so just speak as you would with anyone else.
