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So you want to be best friend that you can but don't know how best to relate or interact with your buddy who has a disability--this is the place to talk about it.
Posted on: Sun, Dec 9 2007 9:52 PM
Posted by: Kara Posts: 2,278
Thanks Orbit! Hope you had a nice weekend
Posted on: Tue, Dec 11 2007 2:59 PM
Posted by: sharonr Posts: 397
KaraSwims:I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
i never even thought of that! i mean, it's always annoyed me, but i never thought of it as "my space" and i don't know why....it's clearly my space! that, and when you're in a conversation with 3 other people, and the other two are speaking above your head....quietly...and then look down for your input, but you haven't heard a damn thing they just said!
Posted on: Tue, Dec 11 2007 10:13 PM
Posted by: DisabledRIder Posts: 28
if they could wait for me Ask for help to if i need help before helping!!
Posted on: Wed, Dec 12 2007 2:54 PM
DisabledRIder: i wish able bodied people would Speak clearly and normallyt to me I will ask them to repeat what they said if i don't get it .
i wish able bodied people would Speak clearly and normallyt to me I will ask them to repeat what they said if i don't get it .
....clearly and normally....not loud and s-l-o-w! i'm not deaf or stupid, and i don't have all minute for you to condescend to me!
Posted on: Wed, Dec 19 2007 1:24 AM
Posted by: dramasteph Posts: 88
THANK YOU for adding this!!! I was wondering and assuming no one would add anything related to those who are d/Deaf or HOH. My dad doesn't like it when people change their sentence each time he asks for them to repeat it. Other things:
1--Be polite, open a door if it looks like someone will need it (someone holding things, someone using crutches, or etc)
2--Don't yell, be too quiet, speak too slowly, or speak too quickly (some may need you to slow down a little, but don't treat them like a child or a dog)
3--Don't eat, chew gum, mumble, or over-enunciate (this is rude for someone who depends on reading lips, its even more difficult with someone who has braces, orthodontics, a lisp, accent, or speach issue, so please don't make it more difficult)
4--Be patient (some people require more time to do something, ie talk, eat, etc)
5--Be flexible (be willing to do something different or be willing to do it at a different time)
Remember: it's not their fault. And above all: CARRY A SENSE OF HUMOR AND SMILE!!! :D
I have to ditto respect goes a long way!
Posted on: Wed, Dec 19 2007 10:09 AM
Posted by: thejoker Posts: 19
I am not big on political correctness BUT language and the way refer to people does affect our attitudes. So my preference is to use people first language. The person comes first, the disability is last.
Please do not refer to me as the disabled person; I am not handicapped; I am not my disability: I am a person ....... who has red hair, green eyes, is middle age, is married, has a job, a family, a home, two dogs, and ..... a disability.
Keep the person in the forefront of your interactions and all else will fall in place.
If you are doing/not doing something that would make the interaction more comfortable for the person with a disability (PWD), it is the PWDs responsibility to let you know - just as in any interaction with a person without a disability (TAB - temporarily able bodied).
I do not believe there are special "rules" or guidelines, just common respect and common sense.
Posted on: Wed, Dec 19 2007 12:45 PM
Posted by: Wheelin Rev Posts: 837
One tip I've not seen is to not touch somebody else's wheelchair unless given permission to do just that. My legs just happen to be round and I was always VERY uncomfortable with people touching my legs in public or private when I was AB, unless of course, it happened to be one of those romantic moments with my wife. I also hated it when people leaned on my shoulder while talking to me. Do I really look like a support post? NOT !
I've had people sit in my chair without asking (never, never sit in somebody's chair; would you try on somebody prosthetic legs?), had people sitting behind me "tap" their shoe on my anti-tipper bars whereby sending vibrations through my chair to me , lean on my chair's push handle while talking to me , oh how the list goes on.
I do make it a point to not be rude or nasty in my reply to the "offender" because to be rude or nasty, that just further stereotypes us wheeler folks as bad attitude rolling balls of hatred mad at the world. Rather, I approach the topic gently, try not to embarrash the person or get the person upset, etc. If possible, I try to at least get a chuckle to show that I take it all in stride and still value their friendship.
Sooooo... what do I do when a Christmas shopper, loaded with packages from extended arms to just under the chin giving support, but completely blind to the "belly button level" of my head in public, that dump everything in to my lap? LOL (fortunately, that has only happened once and I do my best to avoid the shopping centers from "Black Friday" through mid-January of the next year. I value my life by staying alive. Shop early, finish early and enjoy your time watching the grandkids while the wife and daughter are out enjoying their adrenaline rush! LOL
Dave
Posted on: Tue, Jan 29 2008 4:58 PM
Posted by: EscapeArtist Posts: 18
KaraSwims: I wish walkers would respect what I call my "restricted airspace" or "No fly zone"...you know that 2-3 foot space above my head that makes me shorter than grownup walkers....I HATE it in the cafeteria of the hospital I work in when people totter cups of soup of salads or whatever over my head, reaching for cups, etc.....Just because my body doesn't actually extend up that high I think my space should be respected.
YES. That is the most irritating thing. There is no surer way to make someone feel insignificant. Same thing goes for people who push past me without looking, or step over my feet (I use a chair).
Be patient. The person might move or speak or react more slowly than you. Don't put pressure on him/her to keep up. If the person is in a chair don't randomly decide that they're going too slowly and start pushing them.
Try to be at his/her eye level if you plan to talk with him/her for an extended period.
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